The Punch-Up w/ Matt Reigle: January 25

There’s a lot of news in a week. Maybe too much.

So for that reason, it can sometimes be hard to keep up with everything that’s going on, but I had an idea.

What if I cherry-picked some of the stories from the past week and put them all in one place so you could be sure that you were up to speed on everything — or at least the important things — that have happened over the last seven days?

A list of news stories?

It’s been done to death and it can be dull. Who would read that? I wouldn’t, you wouldn’t, no one would.

But what if we gussied things up a little bit and had some fun? That way you’re informed and entertained, like if a clown explained quantum physics while pulling scarves out of his mouth… but not quite like that.

Here’s the plan: I’m going to have some fun with stories from the past week so you can have some laughs and maybe go back and read them if you want to.

Now, without further ado, let’s get rolling with the first-ever edition of The Punch Up…

An Alabama fan called into C-SPAN during the inauguration to complain about the Crimson Tide being left out of the College Football Playoff. Viewers are still in disbelief that an Alabama fan actually watches C-SPAN.

Golfer Scottie Sheffler says he injured his hand while making homemade ravioli over the holidays. It’s yet another example of the lengths to which people will go to not have to eat Chef Boyardee.

The Baltimore Orioles have rolled out a value menu for the 2025 season which includes $4 hot dogs and $2.50 peanuts. Many are calling it, "The best thing about Baltimore, and it’s not even close."

A mother in Ohio has gone viral after she shared a video of marijuana that she found in a bag with her daughter’s Burger King chicken fries. So, somewhere a Spicoli-esque Burger King employee is trying to figure out how to smoke french fries.

Porn star Richelle Ryan has offered her services as a thank-you to LAFD firefighters. It’s a nice gesture, but I think she just misunderstood when firefighters said they were in desperate need of "more hose."

…

Up to speed?

Good, I’ll see you back here next week!