The Punch-Up w/ Matt Reigle: February 22

What a week it has been, so let’s get you up to speed with another edition of what some are calling "funnier than Jason Kelce’s late-night show… which isn’t saying much," The Punch-Up!

Man, if we learned anything, it’s that if you want to get Canadians fired up it just takes two things: a hockey game, and threatening them with tariffs.

Congrats to our neighbors to the North on their 4 Nations Face-Off Championship. 

Enjoy it… meanwhile, here in the States, we'll get some silver polish ready for when the Stanley Cup summers here yet again.

But more than just hockey happened this week (although I think we can all agree that was the most important thing), so let’s dig into all the news that matters from the week that was…:

Amazon has taken over control of the James Bond film franchise. I’m sure they’ll do a great job because no one knows how to make movies quite like the website you buy batteries from.

Bryce Harper said that his Phillies teammate Kyle Schwarber is too ugly to be a TV analyst. It’s hard to believe that Harper is entering his seventh season in Philadelphia, and he still isn’t familiar with John Kruk.

President Donald Trump visited the Daytona 500 this week, where he spoke to drivers and led a lap around the track in his limo, "The Beast." As you might expect, Liberals were seething with one being quoted as saying, "I’m never watching NASCAR again… or for the first time."

Fans of accused United Healthcare CEO killer Luigi Mangione packed into a Manhattan courtroom for his latest hearing. Well, we’ve done it! We’ve officially found a fanbase worse than Swifties!

The NHL has reportedly met with a group interested in bringing a franchise to New Orleans. That’s a great idea; fans in Florida throw rats on the ice, fans in Detroit throw an Octopus, fans in New Orleans will just throw up on the ice after a night out on Bourbon Street,

Billionaire Bill Gates talked about some things the younger generations should be afraid of. He listed scary, terrible topics like nuclear war, bioterror, misuse of AI, and the next edition of Windows.

Basketball dad and provocateur Lavar Ball recently had his foot amputated due to health complications. Sad news and we wish him the best in his recovery... Unfortunately, there was some more bad news: sales of Big Baller Brand sneakers have fallen by 50%.

Maine Governor Janet Mills shared a fiery exchange with President Donald Trump over her refusal to follow an executive order banning men from competing in women’s sports. Democrats were proud of Mills for confronting the president, something they said requires more balls than a Maine girls’ high school track meet.

…

Got all of that.

Wonderful. See you back here next week.