Weed-Consin: Pot Plants Pulled From Wisconsin State Capitol Tulip Garden, But There's Still A Bit Of A Mystery

I'm going to warn you ahead of time with this one… there will be pot jokes. A lot of them.

Earlier this month, dozens of cannabis plants were discovered in a tulip garden at the Wisconsin State Capitol in (think for a second; what is the capital city of Wisconsin Nope, WRONG, not Milwaukee) Madison.

According to the Associated Press, Tatyana Warrick, a spokeswoman for Wisconsin's Department of Administration, said that the plants had been removed.

She puff-puff passed on and declined to answer a question about how the cannabis plants wound up getting there in the first place.

There are still some questions about what kind of plant they were. While most appear to agree it was cannabis, it's unclear whether it was marijuana or hemp, the former is the kind of sticky icky that some people think is a personality, while the latter has more industrial uses.

I'm not sure how to tell the difference. I guess someone could take one for the team in the name of science. Maybe throw on a Pink Floyd record (Wish You Were Here is my favorite) or watch the last act of 2001: A Space Odyssey and then let us know if they found both of those things to be awesome or very awesome. 

I think we'd have our answer.

Maybe the events leading up to the discovery of the plants could be a clue too. Was there an unusually high number of Phish fans milling around in the vicinity of the Capitol building in the weeks before the plants were found? Perhaps a noticeable influx of tie-dye shirts, sandals, and vans with what appear to be Dio album covers painted on the sides? Did it look like there was some sort of gathering of the Jeff Spicolis?

If so, that's a clue. A big one.

After what appeared to be some kind of cannabis plants were found at the Wisconsin State Capitol, there is still uncertainty about what kind of cannabis it was, though, I'm sure there was no shortage of volunteers more than happy to help get to the bottom of it. (Getty Images)

University Of Wisconsin Botanist Seems To Think The Possible Wacky Tobaccy Was Planted There On Purpose

One person who confirmed that the plants were some kind of cannabis was University of Wisconsin botanist Shelby Ellison. She couldn't determine what kind it was (Dammit, Shelby; you're the botanist! You had one job!), but what she could tell is that the plants were there on purpose.

"It was just a large number of plants for it to be anything accidental," she said.

Which, if that's true, is either the most brain-dead moronic thing anyone has ever done, or it's a brilliant attempt at hiding one's stash in plain sight. It's tough to say. As David St. Hubbins once said, "It's such a fine line between stupid and clever."

Weed is illegal in Wisconsin, and it stands to reason that the last place someone would think to look is on the Capitol grounds. 

Well, at least until they did look on the Capitol grounds and found all of it.