Porch Pirate Steals Apple Watch Seconds After Fed Ex Driver Drops It Off

I'm big on Innocent Until Proven Guilty®, but this porch pirate out of Columbus, OH is 99.5% guilty of this Apple Watch heist. 

Kyle Dorsch was home Monday just waiting for his Fed Ex driver to drop off an Apple Watch when a scumbag porch pirate showed up and stole the watch less than 10 seconds after it was dropped off at Dorsch's door. 

"I saw the guy running off. I am still trying to process what happened," he told WSYX in Columbus. Dorsch had ordered the watch from AT&T. 

The Columbus Dispatch reported the watch was later found via tracking software. The watch was for sale on Facebook Marketplace.  

The lesson here, according to the experts, is that you can typically deploy the tracking software to find out where these scumbags run off with your property. In March, a college student flying Spirit had her suitcase containing an Apple Watch and a bunch of other electronics (allegedly – the court can handle this one) stolen by a baggage handler at Fort Lauderdale International. 

The woman, who claims Spirit forced her to check the bag, says she got home and started investigating a ping being sent by her Apple Watch. It was showing an address in Fort Lauderdale. 

She went to the house to find her stuff. 

The place was littered with suitcases. 

The cops got involved, and after a bunch of craziness, the watch was located in the house.

What's the solution for homeowners to fight against porch pirates? Companies are now selling mail drop boxes that you can bolt into a house or concrete. 

What a time to be alive.