Please Stop Accusing Putin Of Murdering Failed Coup Leader, The Kremlin Promises It's Not True

Russian leader Vladimir Putin had absolutely nothing to do with the death of Yevgeny Prigozhin....according to Vladimir Putin.

Prigozhin is believed to have died in a plane crash, and just about everyone in the world believes Putin is responsible. As I've said before, nothing major happens in Russia without Putin ordering it or being aware of it.

Two months after a failed coup attempt against the Russian strongman, the Wagner boss' plane blew up out of the sky. Yet, the Russians politely, but firmly reminded the world Putin is an innocent man who would kill anyone.

Yevgeny Prigozhin believed dead in a plane crash. (Photo by OLGA MALTSEVA/AFP via Getty Images)

The Kremlin, a noted bastion of truth and honesty, denies Putin murdered Yevgeny Prigozhin.

"There is now a great deal of speculation surrounding this plane crash and the tragic deaths of the plane’s passengers, including Yevgeny Prigozhin. Of course, in the West, all this speculation is presented from a well-known angle. All of this is an absolute lie, and here, when covering this issue, it is necessary to base yourself on facts. There are not many facts yet. They need to be established in the course of investigative actions," Kremlin spokesman Dmitry Peskov told the press Friday, according to the New York Post.

The Kremlin denies Vladimir Putin killed Yevgeny Prigozhin. (Photo by SERGEI GUNEYEV/Sputnik/AFP via Getty Images)

There you have it, folks. We can all go home. The investigation is over. Putin, who loves killing and arresting his opponents, had nothing to do with the death of *checks notes* the man who tried to violently overthrow the Russian government.

He'll have journalists arrested and killed, but we're now supposed to believe he didn't have a man who threatened his rule killed?

Sure. I have some great oceanfront property in Iowa if you're dumb enough to believe that.

Don't believe this nonsense.

The Russians are asking people to believe that it wasn't Vladimir Putin who whacked Prigozhin. Give me a break.

Did his plane just blow up on accident? Planes can crash, but do they get blown to shreds for no reason at all? As far as I know, that's not a common event.

What's more likely: Putin murdered someone who represented a violent threat to his rule or Yevgeny Prigozhin's plane blew up on accident?

Let me think about that for a quick second. Yeah, I'm going to say it's more than likely the man who loves killing people probably killed the leader of a failed coup.

Wagner chief Yevgeny Prigozhin is believed to have died in a plane crash. (Photo by Wagner/Anadolu Agency via Getty Images)

Honestly, part of me respects how boldly Putin is just spin zoning this entire situation. He issues condolences to a man he definitely didn't murder (wink, wink) and then the Kremlin calls the accusations lies. If you're going to commit to a lie, you might as well go all the way. We're still not buying it.