People Are Making Bank Re-Selling Trader Joe's Bags To Morons

Move over Stanley Cups, there's a new item in town that people are re-selling for obscene amounts of cash, and its name is the Trader Joe's mini tote bag.

Videos have been popping up on social media of absolutely feeding frenzies where people are grabbing as many of the miniature tote bags as they can get.

Why would morons be fighting over bags that look like one's they'd throw in with a magazine subscription or a PBS donation?

Because other morons are willing to pay hundreds of dollars for them on platforms like eBay and Facebook Marketplace.

It's been a minute since I've roamed the aisles of Trader Joe's but I dig that place. They've got decent prices, some interesting stuff, and it's one of the few places I can find one of my favorite beers — Narragansett Lager; just like Quint drinks in Jaws — in my area.

Now, had I gone to the store and seen a stack of mini tote bags I would've breezed right past them without giving them a second glance because I'm not in the market for a mini tote bag from Trader Joe's.

My issue here is just once I'd like to be on the vanguard of one of these viral resale trends so I could fleece some (other) idiots. I have no idea how people pick up on stuff like this but I'd love to learn their ways. 

Trader Joe's didn't even see this one coming.

"Our Mini Canvas Tote Bags certainly sold more quickly than we anticipated," Trader Joe's spokesperson Nakia Rohde said, per the Associated Press. "Before we had the opportunity to promote them in any way, customers across the country found them at their neighborhood Trader Joe’s."

Then, how were they privy to this? Knowing that there are  ̶r̶u̶b̶e̶s̶ customers out there willing to pay hundreds of dollars for a $3 bag seems like a superpower.

In fact, if I could pick one superpower it'd be that. Forget flying, super strength, or invisibility; call me Knows What Dummies Will Pay Top Dollar For Man.

…The name's a bit wordy, but there's always time to workshop it.