Penn State Sprinter Zoey Goldstein Starts 2024 In The Bahamas, Paige Spiranac Gets Naked On TikTok & Jacked Alex Rodriguez

Anyone want some duck for the big weekend? I've got plenty for you, Penn State sprinter Zoey Goldstein and anyone else on this big, beautiful planet.

On that note, welcome to a Friday Nightcaps -- the one where I try to regroup from a week in the woods and gather my thoughts for one final class before the final full NFL weekend until September. Can I pull it off? Well, I've gotten about 12 hours of sleep since Tuesday, so we'll see.

Regardless, it'll be a wild ride, so buckle up and hold on for dear life!

We're gonna ring in the new year with Penn State senior Zoey Goldstein, who chose to spend her first week of 2024 in the Bahamas. Looks a little different than my trip to Arkansas, but to each their own.

Oh yeah, we'll talk about that, too!

What else? Paige Spiranac being shadow-banned on insufferable TikTok because she showed a little too much skin? Of course. How about jacked Alex Rodriguez and his new fitness trainer girlfriend? Duh.

We've also got a couple big anniversaries this week to celebrate, a wild Alabama man at Bass Pro and an all-time reader email.

OK, I'm sure we'll hit on some other things throughout class, but I've got limited service on this trip home and I'm running out of time, so let's get this show on the road.

Drink up -- it's Friday, after all -- and settle in for a quick Friday class.

There are less ducks in Arkansas now, you're welcome

We'll obviously start today's lesson in Stuggart, Arkansas, where I just spent a few days in flooded rice fields picking off ducks one by one with a 12-guage.

First time duck hunting, and I'm in. All in. Sold. Sign me up. It was awesome. Cold as all get-out, but fun as hell.

We hit our limit in about two hours on Day 1, and then spent the afternoon taking out some geese. That was pretty damn cool, too. Ever had 50 geese come in over top of you while you're in a blind and start tornadoing for about two minutes until they're close enough to the ground? Insane.

What a bloodbath, they didn't stand a chance.

I brought home a pretty mallard for my wall. Can't wait for that bad boy to be stuffed and sent to me in a few months. Also brought home some duck meat, which will be hitting my grill in about 24 hours.

Between killing ducks in the morning, geese in the afternoon, and a bottle of Bulleit at night, there are certainly worse says to spend the first week of January. I could do without the 20-degree wind chill at 6 a.m., but adversity builds character.

That being said, I am glad to be back in the great, big, beautiful state of Florida. Not only for the weather, but for the Hard Rock app.

Put in an NHL bet the second we crossed state lines last night and hit it a few hours later. God I love this country.

Penn State sprinter Zoey Goldstein spent the first week of 2024 a little different

Look at those things! I mean, come on. What a bloodbath from start to finish.

We were also there with a few other groups, all of which were big FOX and OutKick fans. True story. Shocking, right?

Figured they'd all be big Don Lemon fans in Stuggart, Arkansas!

Anyway, let's leave the woods and head down south to the beach, where Penn State sprinter Zoey Goldstein rang in the new year from the Bahamas.

Goldstein has blossomed into a star ever since OutKick identified her over the summer, and it's been all hands on deck ever since. Track season is right around the corner, too, so I can't wait to see how her final year unfolds.

Happy 2024, Zoey Goldstein!

Things I saw from the week after finally getting service back on Thursday that I liked

I know I'm stealing a little bit from Screencaps on this one, but there's no real other way to jump back in from being in the woods for two days with little to no cell phone service.

I don't know what the hell we did or didn't talk about over the past week, so I figured I'd just hop on the internet and see what stood out.

For starters, congrats to Joe for a much-deserved step up in weight class. Tough 2023 for his Bengals and Buckeyes, but starting 2024 with a promotion should cleanse his system:

Is Joe my boss now? No clue. I reckon I'll find out Monday. Still think he's wrong on the whole "respect summer" nonsense, but I may have to change my tune on that in a few days. We'll see.

Next? On a scale of Bill Belichick to Nick Saban, how long do we think he lasts in his new title?

Dolphins fans to this day still hate Nick Saban. I don't. Love the guy. Don't blame him for one second. He made a business decision and I'd say it worked out pretty damn well for him. Same with Bill.

Side note: Is Sunday Belichick's final game in New England? What a wild thing to think about. He's been the Patriots head coach my entire football-watching life. Insane.

If it is, hope he doesn't end up working at the McDonalds ...

On Dec. 28, a woman was training to be a manager at the S. Main Street McDonald's location when her employees were "disrespecting" her.

As a result, the woman called her husband, 57-year-old Dwayne Waden, to help with the situation.

Witnesses told police that when Waden arrived, he walked into the McDonald's then around the counter before placing his hands around the victim’s neck.

After grabbing the victim’s neck, Waden allegedly pushed the victim’s head toward one of the restaurant’s deep fryers, police said.

Waden also punched the victim several times in the face, police allege, and did not stop striking the victim until multiple employees were able to pull Waden off of the victim.

I'm #TeamDwayne on this one. Love the deep fryer move, too. You have to send a message every once in a while. There are consequences in life, and sometimes they involve your head being deep-fried. The quicker we get back to that mindset, the better.

I reckon all the folks in the duck lodge earlier this week would agree.

Let's quickly check in with Alex Rodriguez before moving on!

Call of Booty, reader mail & Alabama man!

Alex Rodriguez is BACK, baby! What a second act after becoming so unlikeable in New York. Remember when he did this like 20 years ago?

Still one of my favorite A-Rod moments of all time:

Hilarious. What a scum.

OK, let's rapid-fire this sucker straight into our final full NFL weekend of the year. Sad. Don't wanna talk about it. Not ready yet.

First up? How about this Call of Duty player getting blacklisted for showing too much skin?

But wait, there's more!

The gaming community isn't just mad at Nadia here for being naked while sniping, they've also come out SWINGING with some pretty serious cheating allegations.

Apparently, she was accused last year of using Aimbots, which is some sort of cheating software that automatically locks on targets in first-person shooter games during gameplay.

I'm no gamer, but I feel like this is one of those situations where you just sort of take the good with the bad, right? Seems like a decent trade-off, but what do I know?

Whose side do you reckon this one Alabama fella would take?

From AL.com:

A man is in custody and en route to a hospital for mental health treatment after he jumped naked into the massive aquarium at The Bass Pro Shop Leeds Thursday night.

Police Chief Paul Irwin said the incident happened about near closing time.

The 42-year-old man was reported to be acting erratically and drove a vehicle into a pole in the store parking lot.

After the crash, he got out of his vehicle, took off his clothes, ran into the Bass Pro Shop and jumped into the aquarium.

He was taken to a hospital for a mental evaluation and then booked into the St. Clair County Jail.

Jail records show George Owens, of Sterrett, is charged with public lewdness, disorderly conduct, resisting arrest, assault on a police officer, two counts of first-degree criminal mischief and two counts of reckless endangerment.

Bet you anything Alabama George could hold his own in a duck blind! As my new boss Joe would say, innocent until proven guilty!

Finally, how about this little piece of mail I found hanging out in the mailbox upon my return from the woods?

Guys -- the sit-down pee is OK. It feels better, and it's OK to say it. For some reason, guys just either refuse to admit it or consider it. But it's time someone said it.

Kenny, in FL.

Shadow-banned Paige Spiranac takes us into the weekend

Thoughts, fellas? Honestly, he's probably right, especially if we're talking about the middle-of-the-night pee.

Happened to me last night, as a matter of fact. True story. I got up around 3 a.m. and had to pee after the 18 Miller Lites I had at dinner. It was pitch black obviously and I was using an unfamiliar toilet. Didn't want to turn the lights on because I was sharing a room with my brother, so I went for it.

About four seconds in, I quickly realized I was in a bad spot and had to call a painful audible, stop the stream and find the light switch. You wanna talk about demoralizing.

Bottom line? It could've all been avoided by just swallowing my pride and taking a seat.

So I think I'm with Ken here, at least during the night. If you have the stones, email me and let me know your take.

In the meantime, enjoy some Paige Spiranac on the way out.

Let's go have a weekend.

OutKick Nightcaps is a daily column set to run Monday through Friday at 4 p.m. (roughly, we’re not robots).

Who had a better first week of 2024, me or Penn State sprinter Zoey Goldstein? Email me at Zach.Dean@OutKick.com.