Paulina Gretzky Starts Masters Month In A See-Through Dress, Paige Spiranac Is Boiling & Zach Edey Vs. A Door
Howdy-doo – what a weekend! And now, just like that, we're in April. Today, by the way, is just the dumbest of all the days.
April Fools' Day. So, so stupid. We celebrate a ton of dumb things in this country, but what we do today is alone atop that stupid mountain.
And look! Even our own president is getting in on it!
Wait. No. Sorry! That wasn't a joke. It's something the actual President of the United States tweeted out … on EASTER SUNDAY.
This guy is such an idiot it's almost unbelievable at this point. Almost. I really don't like calling a US president an idiot. I try not to.
I've always said, we should respect whoever sits in that office – Republican or Democrat. We should all root for him/her, because it's in our best interest for them to do well.
But that little stunt he pulled yesterday pretty much sealed it for me. Such a slap in the face. They're mocking us, and if you vote for that in November, you're a dummy, too. There, I said it. If you don't like it, by all means, hit the bricks!
Just kidding! I know everyone attending this class agrees with that statement, because Nightcaps readers are sane. This ain't a safe space. It's a sane space.
On that very aggressive note, welcome to a Monday Nightcaps – the one where we celebrate Paulina Gretzky finally making her big Instagram return. Been a while, Paulina. Welcome home.
Grab a seat, and then a drink, and then hold on for the next few minutes as we navigate this first Monday of April.
No jokes today – we start with the reason everyone's here, Paulina Gretzky
Welcome back to class, Paulina – and welcome back, Augusta National! That's right. When April shows up, it means The Masters is on deck, and I have a feeling this year's edition is gonna be a wild ride.
You've got the Big Cat (someone named Tiger Woods) back in action after being put back together for the 15th time.
You've got the meanies over at LIV finally getting an invite to play with the PGA fellas again.
You've got Scottie Scheffler versus literally the entire field because he's that much better than everyone else right now.
And, of course, you've got the PGA-LIV WAGs battling for off-the-course supremacy:
March Madness is down to an April quickie
Welcome back, Paulina Gretzky! It's been such a brutally slow start to the year for Paulina, I was legit starting to worry.
I assume now that the golf season is about to hit its peak, she'll check back in more frequently. Lord knows I hope she does. Feel like we all do.
Now, let's go from the links to the court, where March Madness has dwindled down to an April quickie.
(Come on, that's a good one! I surprise myself every once in a while, you know)
I told you Friday I felt like this was a pretty ‘meh’ tournament because UConn is just gonna steamroll everyone, and what they did to poor Illinois didn't exactly change my mind.
Thank God we have an underdog to root for, though. Let's go, Wolfpack!
And how about these two specimens in the Final Four? Electric City:
Honest question: what's with all the Zach Edey hate? Seems weird to me, right? I'm honestly asking, because I just haven't watched that much. Like most normal Americans, I tend to check out after the first weekend of March Madness.
Anyway, the guy seems pretty cool to me. Is he a dick? No clue. He dropped an F-bomb after the game this weekend. Is that why people hate him?
I know he gets a ton of calls, but that's also why I just can't watch that much basketball. Too many fouls, too many whistles, too much downtime.
The guy seems to know what he's doing – on and off the court – and he's got the backing of Paige Spiranac, so he's A-OK with me:
Sean Taylor, Vontae Davis and Rashee Rice
I mean, just an unreal video from Zach Edey, huh? No clue when it's from, where it's from, or what the deal is (OK, maybe I know that one), but it's mesmerizing.
It's also going viral on Twitter today, which means it makes our Monday lesson. Rules are rules.
The girl's face in the back when they finally go in? Epic. The sheer size of Zach versus the actual door? Insane. Mix in a little Paige Spiranac, and we've got ourselves a big Monday.
They ain't beating UConn, though. Nobody is. Shut it down now.
Rapid-fire time on this first Monday of April, and it's all NFL. First up? The Rashee Rice video is out and it was worth the wait:
From the NY Post:
Police confirmed to the Morning News that they were searching for 23-year-old Rice as the suspected driver of a Corvette that was racing a Lamborghini before a crash that resulted in four people suffering minor injuries — with two individuals hospitalized and two treated at the scene.
The drivers of the Corvette and Lamborghini fled from the scene after the crash without stopping to check on anyone, Dallas police spokeswoman Kristin Lowman told the outlet.
I mean, such a moron. He ain't as dumb as Biden, but that's pretty close. Being an NFL head coach during the offseason must be just brutal. Imagine the constant stress when those loose cannons are out there doing God knows what? Whooof.
Now, I hate to end class on a sad note, but sometimes the news of the day just forces my hand.
Today is the late Sean Taylor's birthday. He would've been 41. He'd never and I mean NEVER be allowed in today's NFL, but that's what makes him great. Imagine this trying to compete in a league that no longer allows the hip-tackle? Good luck!
What a player. He'd HATE today's league. Hell, he'd quit. Wouldn't blame him, either.
Finally, the other sad note out of the NFL today …
Former cornerback Vontae Davis has reportedly died at 35, which is just awful. There isn't much else to say about it now other than the police reportedly found him unresponsive at his grandmother's Florida home.
As a Dolphins fan, I LOVED Vontae Davis. He was pretty damn good out of college, and had a couple elite years.
It obviously ended poorly when we cut him and then told him on Hard Knocks and he immediately asked to call his grandma (a Hard Knocks HOF moment, by the way), but we'll always have fond memories of him.
Here's another on the way out. RIP, legend.
Let's go have a week.
OutKick Nightcaps is a daily column set to run Monday through Friday at 4 p.m. (roughly, we’re not robots).
Did you miss Paulina Gretzky as much as I did? Email me at Zach.Dean@OutKick.com.