Paulina Gretzky Shows Shoulder At The Florida Panthers NHL Playoff Game, Lara Travis Shoots & AI Baby Trump
The Rec Ball team (we need a nickname) is 1-0 after a pitching masterpiece
I know some of you have been waiting on this report since Saturday. I'm happy to report that Team No. 5 (that's what the league calls us) is officially in the win column after an Opening Day performance that shocked the hell out of me.
Highlights:
- Defense and pitching wins championships and Opening Day games. My No. 1 threw 16 pitches in the first inning on his way to four scoreless innings in a 9-2 six-inning victory. It was a Greg Maddux performance. In 1997, Maddux needed just 78 pitches to throw a two-hour and seven-minute complete game. My pitcher was in that same stratosphere Saturday morning. He threw 54 pitches (37 strikes; ONE walk) and could've thrown up to 85 pitches based on league rules, but, like I've written here, I'm listening to pitching guru Tom House this season and limiting my pitchers to 60 pitches. House has studied the data and the ROI after 60 just isn't there.
- My closer came in and was equally as good as the starter. He went two innings, threw 37 pitches (24 strikes). ONE WALK.
- The final combined pitching line: 6 innings, 2 earned runs, two walks and 11 Ks. Looking back, I should've kept a stat on passed balls. There were very few.
- Defensively, the spring bootcamp I put the boys through worked. My center fielders broke on balls to the outfield, our cutoffs were clean, and my infielders made clean plays at short and second. Even our catchers both came out of their crouches on dribblers in front of the plate and made CLEAN throws to the inside of the bag.
- I had a team full of kids that wanted to be there. You guys know that's big in rec ball.
- We still have kids that aren't hitting as well as they should be, but that should come with reps. My 11-year-old project player — who walked up to me at the first practice & I swore he'd played since he was 3 only to find out this is his first baseball season — got the first hit of his baseball career in his first at-bat on a rocket between first and second. We're off and running.
- Daddy Ball Report: Screencaps Jr. started at short and batted 4th. He put the ball in play twice and took a ridiculous strike out looking on a ball that was right down the middle. We have to work on him leveling his swing. He's hitting Major League pop-ups.Did I go a little extreme with the daddy ball? Yes, but he worked his ass off since the Sunday after the Super Bowl and earned the right to those spots. Will he stay in those spots? No.
- As is tradition on my teams, after the first victory, the kids get $5 to spend at the concession stand. Put it on my card. Buy whatever you want, kids. Then I looked and saw the ‘Cash only’ sign. Thank god my assistant had enough to cover the bar tab. That would've been a buzzkill after such a great win.
- We may not win again this season, but I won't soon forget this opener. I'm really proud of the boys.
Looking ahead:
Two new pitchers, maybe three or even four will go this Thursday as I keep my promise to work six of my kids into the rotation. We're in the win column. That part of the season is out of the way. Now we build the staff that we'll need in late June to make a run at the league playoff title. There are seven teams this year. It's going to take multiple arms to make it all the way.
Readers react to their wife's reaction to receiving a Hori Hori knife for Mother's Day
Before the haters start thinking I made a bunch of money off my Hori Hori suggestion: #NOTSPONSORED
— Keith W. paid attention to the Screencaps Mother's Day gift guide:
My wife has been huge into gardening the last year, and I've built a couple raised beds and installed some irrigation in them for her. I took your advice and bought her a Hori Hori gardening knife for Mother's Day. Somehow, she's never heard of them, but she loves it! She already used it to cut open a bag of soil, scoop out some of the dirt, and cut off a few suckers, etc.. I'm not sure what's better, your college basketball gambling picks, or your Mother's Day gift advice... but I've scored from both!
— ‘Sheriff’ John in Houston says:
Was a hit with the wife. She and my mother in law knew exactly what it was when she opened it and said, "I would never buy this for myself but now that I have one, I am going to use it!" Apparently Martha Stewart uses one?
Great call. I had no idea.
The TNML Polo of the Summer® continues to be a hit…I told you guys that polo would turn heads & I was right…again
— Adam in Nebraska writes:
Thanks Joe, hope your family had a great weekend playing rec ball, and planting flowers. I’m really bad at all of that and my wife isn’t much better at exterior landscaping. The grow stories are great motivation and provide some insight to how much work having a well landscaped yard is.
I wore my TNML polo to all the HS grad parties this weekend, That polo from last year hits hard to all the people I come across especially women from 20-60. I spread the mow on Thursday, have fun on the weekend gospel to everyone I had a beer with yesterday.
Abe Lincoln on TNML
— Tom P. tells me:
Commissioner Kinsey,
Thought you might like this.
Quote from Abe Lincoln,
I like to see a man proud of the place in which he lives.
I like to see a man live so that his place will be proud of him.
My father framed this for me years ago for my office. Every time I read it I think of the community you have built. Mow on.
Did you guys catch Danielly DeAndrade guest star on On Patrol: Live?
— Video Game Tyler in Kennesaw, GA was watching:
Hey Joe, hope all is well. My Sunday morning ritual is to drink a cup of coffee while watching the prior evening’s On Patrol Live on Reelz. Nothing gets my Sunday going better than watching idiots get tased after running from the cops or a well placed set of stop sticks puncturing fleeing stolen vehicles. Anyway, this morning I turn on the TV and lo and behold who do I see as one of the revolving guest hosts?
The one and only Danielly De Andrade of the Hollywood FL police department! Stepping right off the Screencaps page to national live television. She of course looked lovely and was a good presence alongside the other regular hosts. Didn’t take a picture because my wife was sitting next to me and if she saw me taking pics of Ms. De Andrade on Mother’s Day I’d be in a world of trouble.
— Darren in McDonough was watching:
Do you ever watch "On Patrol Live’?
It’s Cops 2.0 every Friday and Saturday night (9p-midnight) on REELZ.
Dany DeAndrade is guest hosting tonight. Give it a look-see.
Kinsey:
I tried to get Danielly on Screencaps Recap with Dan Dakich on Friday, but she was traveling to On Patrol: Live. We'll get her back on. She's Team Screencaps. Team Dakich.
Readers react to Chris Y.'s analysis of Annie Agar
— Jon D. writes:
Top-notch dissertation by Chris Y. on the appeal of Annie Agar in contrast to many in the plethora of IG models. "Ready to writhe as needed" is a scathing but fair indictment. Chris' take is the classic "I know what she's doing, and she knows I know what she's doing, and I know that she knows...", but it doesn't make it less true.
Almost makes up for his horrendous Hooters suggestions. Almost.
I'd add only that Annie's team jersey videos (replete with blistering sarcasm and adorable facial expressions) add to her charm. Not all the jokes land, but you get the sense that she'd be a lot of fun to watch a game with. America's Sweetheart, indeed.
What do you guys think of where we stand with college baseball behavior?
You make the call: Are you a ‘They’re just kids!' fan or are you, ‘I wish they’d tone it down' fan?
Email: joe.kinsey@outkick.com or use my Gmail
MEAT
— Darren shares:
My wife is on a business trip to Paris and strolled by this Meat Market.



— Marc in Burke, VA knows MEAT:
So I fired up the smoker for the wife both days. NY strips on Saturday with the reverse sear and three racks of ribs Sunday. Absolutely amazing both days and the wife definitely deserves it. Mrs. Screencaps has quite the garden going but I know you have the lawn looking pristine as Augusta. The Wednesday letter was awesome and again, thanks for all you do.



White Boy Summer
— Mike L. remembers his own White Boy Summer from a few years ago:
The white boy summer picture brought back good memories. Me, during my first year working at Disneyland. At one point, I tried to date every girl in this photo, and no, none of them are the fetching Mrs. Lynch.

Beers that are better than Spotted Cow
— Lee D. knows a beer that's better:
Spotted Cow is a good *American* microbrew. Hacker Pschorr is one of the better beers in Bavaria. Major, major difference.
Comparing Spotted Cow in any way (other than it is wet) to Hacker Pschorr is like comparing a Five Guys burger to a steak at Peter Luger's. Yes, Five Guys is a superb burger. But it's not a steak at Peter Luger's. Someone needs to calm down. LOL
(Having a liter draft of Augustiner Helles at a watering hole in Munich may change one's life.)
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We're off and running on what figures to be one of the busiest weeks of my spring/summer. It's garage sale week. I spent Sunday climbing in and out of the attic to prepare for what will be the biggest mass sale of items in Kinsey family history. Whatever's left next weekend is going for a ride. It will not go back into the attic, that's for sure.
Let's go have ourselves a great day.
Email: joe.kinsey@outkick.com or use my personal Gmail