Parrot Confused For Screaming Woman So Can Someone Explain What Exactly Is Supposed To Make Them Good Pets?

A parrot in the UK was screeching and squawking so loudly that police were sent to investigate reports of a screaming woman.

Police in Essex got a call about reports of a woman screaming which took them to the home of a retired police officer named Steve Wood.

It didn't take long before police were able to confirm there was no screaming woman, but instead had stumbled across a scene even more horrifying for those who suffer from ornithophobia, or the fear of birds (it's real, look it up).

According to the BBC, Woods owns 22 parrots. No, my finger didn't bounce on the "2" key an extra time. That's really how many parrots he has.

One of those birds, a three-year-old adolescent named Freddie, was the member of Steve's flock that was so loud the police thought there was a lady in some serious trouble.

"I opened the door to two laughing police officers and they said, 'Don't worry mate, I think we've got this one sussed,'" Woods said. "I said, 'What have I done?', and they said, 'We have had a report that there is a woman screaming for help in your house and we have come to check everything is OK.'

"I'm just surprised it hasn't happened previously."

So What Exactly Is Supposed To Make Parrots Good Pets?

I'm far from a bird guy, and even if I was, stories like this one would at the very least have me rethinking my position.

It's stories like these that make me wonder why people go the parrot route when looking for a pet. As I type this my dog is sitting behind me. He's sawing logs, and that's about the extent of the noises he'll make save for the occasional bark.

Do you know what he's not doing? He's not shrieking like a banshee while I'm trying to get work done.

Then there's the fact they talk which I find wildly disturbing on multiple levels. First, the voice is creepy. There's an uncanny valley thing going on that I'm not a fan of. Second, I don't need my parrot dropping a dime on me because it heard me complaining about someone.

If parrots have figured out how to talk, what other parlor tricks are they sitting on? It starts with talking, then before you know it they're picking locks and forging your signature.

I also think it's sad if you need your pet to talk to you. Everyone talks at their pet. That said if you're so desperate to talk to something that you'll chat with a winged squawk box that spends most of its day defecating on newspapers, maybe go join a club or something. Go talk to people.

But what do I know? I'm just a dog guy with a crippling fear of birds.

Maybe they do make great pets.

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