Paige VanZant Cranks Out An Orange Content Series, Jessica Simpson Enters 'Icon Era' And Mac Jones Turns To Selling Real Estate
The Kids and the Santa Claus era
Tuesday, I mentioned how Mrs. Screencaps and I have been very curious about our boys and their Santa Claus beliefs. It didn't take long before the Screencaps readership started firing off stories of their own lives and how their kids came to terms in their heads that Santa's not sliding down the chimney.
• Jeff in Carmel, IN writes:
The discussion on Santa never needs to happen. We’ve had a hard fast rule that if you don’t believe in Santa he doesn’t come.
That didn’t mean they won’t get gifts from Mom/Dad, but the place where Santa leaves the gifts would be empty. It was a decision they got to make about Santa.
We started talking to them more about the “Spirit of Christmas” and what it means to be able to give gifts to others. As a family, we started volunteering to Ring Bells for Salvation Army, donate time at a shelter or food pantry. It helped give them a better insight on what they had going on. Trust me the days when Santa was coming down the chimney were the best, but “Sprit of Christmas” is what’s important and they picked up on that well.
My kids are 26 & 24 and Santa still leaves the gifts in the same spot to this day.
• Kevin in Toboso, Ohio says:
Joe our oldest was ticked off that we had"lied" to him about Old St. Nick. He was about 5 and I had spent a lot of time extolling the importance of a man's word, not lying, and being honest. It was humbling to be called out by your 5 year old for being a hypocrite. (Mostly he was sad it wasn't real or at least I tell myself that.)
So for the next three kiddos we just didn't pretend he was real but still talked about Santa and made it kinda of a fun tradition. We even have some reindeer decorations and the kids would hunt them just like their dad does. Was pretty funny to see them in camo trailing fake blood (paper-colored red) on the floor.
My family doesn't really do old fat guys, bunnies etc. So it was way better for younger three.
• John in Coronado writes:
When our twins were about 5 an older cousin tried to spill the beans about Santa. They came to me and asked if Santa was real. I asked them if there were presents under the tree each Christmas morning from Santa? They glanced at each other, the carefully replied, “yes”.
Then I asked them if they liked that. They again said, “yes”. Then I said that I believed in Santa Claus, and I’d be afraid that he might not bring presents if no one believed in him. I then asked them if they believed. They carefully looked at each other again, then very emphatically stated, “we believe, Daddy”. Our daughters are now 30, 30, 26, and 22. And there are still gifts from Santa each Christmas morning.
I love that you and the boss (Mrs. ScreenCaps) are talking about keeping the childhood alive for your boys as long as they want it.
• Cheesehead Paul shares some life wisdom:
Joe, my kids heard first at school about "no Santa" and came asking... That's when I came clean, but explained to them that they are now part of the "biggest secret in the world" and have to now keep it a secret from younger siblings and friends. That seemed to work as they actually played up the whole Santa bit with the younger kids, while giving me a wink...
• Hallmark Christmas Movie Screenwriter Steve B. in Grand Junction, CO types:
Tell Jake H. in Utah I appreciate the great review.
As for your son and the Santa secret: my daughter starting asking this at age 9. Not wanting to lie, but not wanting to be dream crushers either, we'd give always give her the same reply: "What do you think?"
"But my friends say..." What do you think?
"But how could he fly..." What do you think?
After a couple more questions, she'd drop it and think about herself. My wife and I wanted our kids to stay little as long as possible, so we'd throw in the occasional, "If you don't believe, he won't bring you a present."
Like the Brad Paisley song, "Getting up at 5 AM, to see if Santa came, there's a last time for everything."
• Ryan McB. writes:
First time long time. The Santa question strikes a chord with me. For me and my wife the loss of Santa (and the Easter Bunny, Tooth Fairy, etc.) means the end of innocence for the kids. We don't push it or ask if they believe.
We have a 17 and 14 y/o, no way they believe but they don't ask or tell their little 10 y/o brother, who we know is on the fence.
We never talked to the older kids about it, for as long as I have kids in the house there will be a visit from Santa on Christmas morning. (and hopefully one day with grandkids) Life gets real fast enough, let the magic last as long as it can. Once this magic is gone... there is no more.
• Kevin C. says:
I see your dilemma as really quite simple. Never. Never admit to the children that Santa isn't real. My kids are now in the their 30's and neither my wife nor I have ever admitted that there is no Santa. In fact, we go a step further, if any of the children so much as hint to thinking Santa isn't real their gifts will be sent back - including the ones I make.
You see Santa is the spirit - it's you and Mrs. Screencaps bringing the love, it's people being a smidge more thoughtful and nicer to each other this time of year, DON'T LET THAT SPIRIT DIE JOE!
Plus, it's good data, if the kid can't figure it out on their own you'll know not to spring for that expensive Stanford or Ivy league education, you can nudge them over to Florida State or perhaps THE Ohio State University.
• Jim T. writes:
You’re WAY overthinking this. I have 5 kids, ranging from 32 to 15. We’ve never had any kind of conversation or discussion. We realize that at some point it dawns on them – it’s a part of growing up. But we never acknowledge Santa isn’t real. Even the 15-year-old is still playing along – a last nod to childhood, perhaps, but it’s all good.
• Patrick in Cleveland writes:
I was discussing this topic a couple hours ago with Mrs. White. I had just walked out of an old-fashioned hardware store with the wooden creaky floors….and where the employees could explain how to put in a garbage disposal step by step besides (calling a plumber) Our son, paddy, rolled his eyes when I mentioned that maybe Santa can bring me a scroll saw this year, a couple of weeks away.
“What’s the matter don’t you believe in Santa” he had just turned six….”no I was just going along for you and Mom.” He continued “I mean how can one guy bring all that stuff to the people in just one night”
Patrick is 28….a county prosecutor in Cuyahoga County and knee-deep in the Cybersecurity Graduate Program at Georgetown University….
I sure wish he was six again.
• Jake in Texas explains his situation:
We pulled the curtain back re: Santa when our oldest entered middle school (5th grade). Did not want him dying on that hill at the middle school lunch table!
Then he was able to participate with mom/dad leading up to Christmas such as moving the elf on the shelf each night. And he learned how to keep a big secret!
Thank you for screencaps - a needed dose of common sense, community and humor.
Someone shrunk the school fundraiser candy bars
• Ivy League-educated Raccoon Sheriff John in Houston, whose wife splurged on the $12k breakfast bar furniture set because the interior decorator suggested it, writes:
Going back to the school fundraiser topic, after being aggressively panhandled by both the football program and the marching band earlier this fall, I wanted to let you know that my older son (HS junior) came home yesterday with a box of World's Finest chocolate bars for the National Honor Society fundraiser. I immediately bought the whole damn box and told him he could pocket any extra money he might make reselling them again (this way I can raid the box with impunity).
They are smaller than I remember, but the brand still exists and kids are still allowed to sell them.
I guess the schools think that only smart kids are capable of doing anything else for fundraising beyond begging.
Kinsey:
Wait a minute, what happened to the full-size chocolate bars like they used to force kids to sell? My eyes know exactly what's going on here. Shrinkflation!
Dammit, Biden!
And when I start seeing words like "Wafer" being used, it tells me we're not talking about value for your money like the old days when you'd grab three or four of those old-school candy bars out of the box one of your coworkers left in the lunch room.
You knew immediately that you were getting a solid candy bar. That photo above tells me customers like Sheriff John are getting a half-assed candy bar. Even the wrapper screams Costco value pack granola bars.
I'm sick to my stomach right now.
A report from France
• Ripcurl from St. Pete has been living over in France for what feels like at least six months. Here's his latest report:
Checking in from France. Figured I would add my two cents on the sunshine/sunset game. Here is the view this morning from our place in Burgundy near Beaune. It’s been a while since I felt 26 degrees.
We are headed up to Strasbourg for the Christmas Festival this weekend. Should be able to drink some good German beers when we are up there.
Guess I should start the Xmas chaos and the goofy things our wives make us do. Had to pick mistletoe this morning. At least I didn’t have to buy it.
I've been calling for such construction for at least 15 years
I've said it over and over again: Why don't college football stadiums include hotels attached to said stadium? Ballparks should have mini-casinos in the outfield. I've literally been asking for such amenities for my entire Internet career. If you're a big outfield standing-room-only type, there's a good chance you're also a degenerate gambler.
Or you enjoy gambling and sorta paying attention to sports.
I remember watching SportsCenter back in the 1990s and being fascinated with the Sky Dome and the hotel inside the stadium. Absolutely fascinated. It felt like one night would cost more than my father made in a year digging ditches with a backhoe for the county engineers department.
Now here we are well over 30 years later and South Korea is going to build a stadium that has a mall and hotel attached. It's the Mall of America with a massive domed ballpark.
America, we're slipping. This could've been ours.
The least you could do is build a casino in the outfield at one of these ballparks. I just want to be proven right that people will pay an entrance fee to a sporting event only to gamble the entire time.
Giving 110% effort
• Brent P. in Carmel, IN would like to have a word with the manager:
I think you use the phrase “give 110%” just to get my goat. You know it impossible to give 110%.
Kinsey:
I don't know, there's research out there that 110% effort just might be possible! Don't be so dismissive, Brent.
The Art of Garage Beers
• Andy writes:
This is a story of a friend of mine who had a keg in his garage (I know because be bought it through me). His rule to his neighbors and friends was that if the garage door was up the tap was open.
Guys would walk over and as guys do, why make the effort only to have one beer?
Two is an even number and makes more sense. One of the guys had been mowing his lawn and came over for a couple. Well his wife needed him for something and went outside to ask him. No hubby in sight. All the wives knew the ‘rule’ and knew where he was so she went over to tell him…..
The lawn mower was still idling in their front yard!
Kinsey:
Excellent email from Andy. Guys, you have to remember these garage beer rules. Having just one is insulting. Don't even show up. Drinking two proves you weren't just there to make an appearance and that you're considerate.
Understand the rules before insulting the garage owner.
Boring firepit photo redemption
• Adam D. says sorry for last week's firepit photo (remember, you need to work some sort of content into the firepit photo, preferably meat rotating over the fire):
Trying to redeem myself after my boring fire pit picture from last week. Here's a sunrise on the east facing Manhattan sign. Tried to catch the moon in the background as well, but too high in the sky. Thanks for the best column in the nation!!
And that's it for this cold, dark Wednesday in late November. It feels like mid-December.
Have your head on a swivel out there today.
Take care.
Email: joekinsey@gmail.com