Paige Spiranac Stuffed Into A Mrs. Claus Costume, The Holiest Of Dale Earnhardt Christmas Trees & You're Getting Old
I didn't want to start the day off like this, but it needs to be addressed
You're getting older. I know you don't want to admit it or deal with the emotional toll over such news, but we're now just days away from a milestone that doesn't seem real.
Guys, Mary from Christmas Vacation turns 70 on January 6, according to the always trustworthy IMDb.
How's that possible? Well, some quick math tells us that Mary was 34 when Christmas Vacation debuted in movie theaters on December 1, 1989.
It's now 2023.
I know, I know, I know...where in theee hell has time gone? Reality check...BOOOM...time flies.
Do I want to be the bad guy today? Absolutely not. But, here we are dealing with reality.
This woman is so old that her Social Security benefits are about to max out. Let that sink in today at work.
You're old.
Speaking of old, the only way I stayed up for that Eagles-Seahawks ending was because I had the main TV on Fast Times at Ridgemont High & Drew Lock on the secondary TV
Did I go into the night thinking I'd end up watching the 1982 classic? Of course not, but when Netflix starts blasting alerts at you that Ridgemont is going away on December 31, you have no choice but to sit back and get your fill of the 41-year-old cult classic.
The mall scenes always get me. Takes me to better times when humans interacted face-to-face.
“Make up your mind dude. Is he going to shit or is he going to kill us?”
It's hard to believe Sean Penn went from being Jeff Spicoli to nearly being offed by El Chapo later in life. What an ending that would've been.
Speaking of 1980s movies, I don't know what's gotten into me. A couple of weeks ago, I PURCHASED Caddyshack and Naked Gun on Blu-ray. I don't trust these streaming sites to carry these classics when I want to watch them.
What other classics should be on my radar to rewatch?
Email: joekinsey@gmail.com
Have you ever made a sandwich like this? I might've just introduced a Screencaps winter challenge. Who's up for it?
People who brag about who blocked them on Twitter
• Jeff asks:
What do you think of these people on Twitter who actually post in their bio section what other accounts has them blocked? If you actually have to brag about being such a pain in the ass the somebody blocked you, you have some serious issues.
Kinsey:
'The first time I met my wife was after a rugby match where I broke my nose and she told me I could have a beer but I had to funnel it first'
I love where these love stories are headed. Guys, keep them coming.
• Guy G. in western New York writes:
So I didn’t meet the Mrs at a bar, but it’s the same thing. Back in our younger days, we both played Rugby in the Buffalo area. My team had entered a tournament in Erie PA, and we were quickly bounced. But I was trimmer back then, and whored to anyone who needed a flanker. Broke my nose playing for the Michigan University team, and ended up playing 4 extra games.
Day is over, and I met back with my team to find that they had drank all the beers. Anyone who has been around rugby can understand. So I went searching, and found a women’s team drinking on a sideline. Why wouldn’t I go there first! I found a good looking woman near the beer, and requested a couple. My now wife’s first words to me were “You can have a beer, but you have to funnel one first”, showing off their ridiculous funnel contraption. Couple beers were awarded, and off I went.
We ran into each other the week after, week after that, and the week after that, before we started hanging out. We’ve been together ever since. We have the photo from the funnel in Erie PA framed in our house. Rugby and drinking have done us well.
'I was being a good wingman at the bar and it just so happened that the woman I was keeping busy introduced me to her twin sister and I married her'
Guys, you're killing me with these stories. You know who's not posting these love stories from Middle America? The New York Times or the Washington Post because they hate happy people.
• Kevin writes:
Met my wife at a bar on Fort Lauderdale Beach.
In the early 90s, Friday nights was the night to go out and try our luck meeting the ladies. Saturday was the ‘boys’ night to just hang out’.
Typical Saturday morning was to head to Fort Lauderdale Beach by bus or cab or bum a ride with a change of clothes for the end of day/night, cab ride home. Spend the day playing basketball on the courts by the beach or volleyball whichever had the best run or both.
Shower at the outside beach shower, get mostly clean. Head to our favorite bar, give the bartender $100 in advance, cut me off when the tab hits $80 and keep the rest for themselves (drinks & shots were purchased for other regulars and new friends).
One night one of my friends saw ‘a little red hair girl’. He has no opening line that ever worked but open the door and all good. Pressed into service, I start the conversation, and true to form, my buddy is off and running.
Being a good wingman, I talked to her friend, no problem, absolutely beautiful girl. We spend an hour or so talking with no real connection, but she mentions she wants me to meet someone and will be right back. Expecting the big blow-off, she returns with her identical twin sister.
As I said before nothing crazy or perverted, we hit it off, talked the rest of the night. Two kids, a few homes, multiple businesses and have been together every day since for almost 30 years. PS the sister lives across the street.
Love the column, my must-read every day. Proud TNML – when South FL weather permits.
Why do men's 50+ multivitamins have a pregnancy warning?
• Scott S. writes:
Joe, is this a warning that really needs to be on a Vitamin for Men over 50?
Emma Parigi Appreciation Society!
• Pete in Perrysburg writes:
Anytime you put up pics of Emma Parigi, I am hanging on every shot.
Thanks for doing what you do.
Kinsey:
You're welcome, Pete. Sometimes I wonder if the Euro ladies I find during my Instagram 'Explore' missions are appreciated. At least one reader approves.
It's easy for readers to send emails complaining about wanting a variety of Screencaps models. Those readers typically won't send me a single suggestion, but they'll be the first ones to complain about that days' Instagram model offering.
Pete clearly understands the hard work that goes into discovering new talent and ladies who will be stars in 2024 and beyond. This game isn't as easy as some of you guys make it out to be. I'm like a judge on America's Got Talent.
Finding the next great Instagram model isn't easy or everyone would do it. I just happened to be chosen by the Internet gods to go on this mission in life.
Harding coach Paul Simmons after his team won the D-II National Championship
• Freedom writes:
I was laying on the couch recovering from a company Christmas dinner, trying to get it together to go to my wife's company party that evening. Ending up watching most of the DII Championship, toggling between that and the Saturday NFL game.
Harding steamrolled to the title, they had something like 500+ yards rushing. After the game the ESPN reporter went over to Harding's Coach and he quoted scripture and praised the Lord for their win. She followed up with a question about the offensive performance of the team, he followed up with a statement of brotherhood and love and further praised Christ.
If you get a chance look it up, it was inspiring.
If Screencaps photos could talk
When you see things like this, I'm pleading with you to take photos. Look at the simplicity of this moment. I'm serious, Travel Ball Hardo Chris B. in Houston made me proud with this set.
Nearly brings a tear to my eye.
If you're in Texas, I should be receiving similar content to this on a weekly basis.
That's a full day. Whew.
I know some of you are on pins and needles over emails that haven't been published. I'm working my way through them. They're piling up. You guys aren't working and there's time to send more and more emails. Keep them coming! Bury the inbox. Tell me what's going on in life. Key in on some of these topics.
BURY THE INBOX!
Now go have a helluva good day.
Email: joekinsey@gmail.com