Paige Spiranac LIV Imposter Celebrates PGA Merger In Bikini, Rory's A Little B-h & Flexible Jennifer Aniston

What a week of incredible tension, disdain, pettiness and utter chaos! The golf streets are insane right now, and I've never been happier watching from the sidelines along with Paige Spiranac LIV imposter, Lilia Schneider.

Bryson DeChambeau's one-time girlfriend -- no clue if she still is but I will hope for the best until I hear otherwise -- sent off a heater on Instagram amid the chaos Wednesday, and we're obviously very much here for it.

We have to start the healing process somewhere, and if this is it, so be it. There are worse ways to extend an olive branch, you know.

While Lilia was easing tensions in a bikini, not everyone in the golf world was as forgiving. For instance, one LIV exec called Rory McIlroy a little b*tch. True story. True and hilarious, I might add.

I can't stand Rory. He's been unbearable for years now, and the whole sacrificial lamb nonsense from his presser this week was pathetic. Stop, Rory. Enough.

What a rant! Didn't see it coming, but I'm fired up today, as you can tell.

Let's see, what else should we discuss today? Jennifer Aniston is still extremely flexible at the young age of 54, but she's also apparently going gray? Concerning or hot? We'll dig in.

How about the whole Zion Williamson situation? I despise the NBA, but this stuff is right down Nightcaps' alley, right? We're nothing if not predictable, you know.

I guess we could also include some cool Dalvin Cook highlights since I'm all aboard the Dalvin to Miami train this afternoon. Sure, why not.

Speaking of trains, climb aboard! Class is in session.

Rory McIlory is a lamb and something else, according to LIV exec

Don't really know where to start, so we'll keep striking while the iron's hot and crush Rory some more today.

I used to love Rory McIlroy. I remember when he burst onto the scene a decade ago and he was all the rage. The next Tiger Woods. The next big thing in golf.

I was a big fan of the OG Rory hair, too. I mean, look at this thing! Insane.

Those were the days. And then, in typical fashion, Rory decided to get political when it came to Donald Trump and then LIV Golf, and I was pretty much out. No time for that, especially here at Nightcaps.

So, naturally, this little quote from an LIV exec made me all warm and fuzzy inside:

“Now we can finally get Hideki and Jon Rahm. I would say every big name on the PGA Tour will get an offer. Except Rory. Nobody wants that little b—h on their team," the anonymous exec told Alan Shipnuck of The Fire Pit Collective.

Hilarious. What a battle we're gonna have on our hands going forward now that the meanies over at LIV are back in the PGA clubhouse whenever they damn well please. The tension is going to be unreal.

Give me a Rory/Chamblee vs. Brooks/Phil wrestling match next year at Augusta. Please. We deserve that.

Paige Spiranac offers her LIV-PGA thoughts

This is gonna be top-heavy with golf off the bat, I'm sorry if you're not a fan. But hey, at least I'm giving you Pageviews to pass the time!

Paige Spiranac, who is increasingly the most rationale voice in golf, took to Twitter Dot Com yesterday to basically tell all the drama queens to take an Aaron Rodgers pill and reeeeeeelax.

LIV, Laugh, Love! What brilliance from our girl. So simple, yet so true. And yes, I will give Rory his flowers for saying this will ultimately be good for the game of golf. I'm nothing if not fair, especially when Paige Spiranac tells it straight.

PS: let the guys wear shorts, you cowards! Lets see those calves, fellas.

Fine -- here's more Paige. I'm a man of my word.

Let's check in with Paige Spiranac LIV imposter, Lilia Schneider

Final PGA-LIV topic today, I promise. Come on, it's June 8 -- ain't exactly a ton going on right now in the world of sports.

Side note: Panthers better get their sh*t together tonight or we revolt. Do Florida proud, fellas.

Nightcaps and Screencaps have tag-teamed this one for months now, and it's time to provide another update on Bryson DeChambeau's one-time GF, Lilia Schneider.

If you recall, some in the industry proclaimed her the "Paige Spiranac of LIV Golf" earlier this year, and I pushed back on it pretty immediately. You don't simply just get that title, you have to earn it, and I didn't think we were there yet.

Now, Lilia's been on somewhat of a heater recently, so perhaps the gap is closing. I'll give her that. She also checked in Wednesday afternoon in the midst of the LIV-PGA chaos to make sure we were all paying attention. Nice touch, and timely!

Buckle up. World's are about to collide.

Oh no, Zion Williamson!

Tough break for Lilia. I feel for you, because I've had not one, not two but three shoulder surgeries in my lifetime. True story.

It got so bad at one point that I actually was operated on by Dr. James Andrews. Yes, that James Andrews. Guy is unreal. He's as advertised, and intimidating as hell.

Stay strong, Lilia!

Let's now pivot to the other big sports story right now ... Zion Williamson with a porn star!

As I said, it's June.

In case you missed it, or just simply don't care, porn star Mariah Mills went on an absolute Twitter RANT again Zion Williamson after he did a pregnancy reveal with a different woman.

Mills said Williamson should be with her and she had no idea about this other gal. She also shared screenshots of what appeared to be unauthenticated DMs from him and claimed she might also be pregnant.

Wowzers!

Anyway, you don't simply throw out allegations like that and not grab the attention of those in the adult film industry. Doesn't work like that.

And, right on cue, it looks like Mariah has a cushy job waiting for her next fall if she wants it!

From CamSoda president Daryn Parker. Shockingly, this little number was forwarded to OutKick. Wonder why!

Dalvin Cook still runs like a bull

What an offer! $500,000 to call Pelicans games for CamSoda? I'm not sure I'd attract the same audience as Mariah, but I'm willing to consider it if ya'll really need someone. Let me know.

Let's turn on the jets on the way out so we can all go enjoy a Thursday night filled with smoke from Canada.

Speaking of turning on the jets ... I'm all in on Dalvin Cook. I don't understand why people think he's washed. What am I missing?

I know he ain't a spring chicken anymore, but he's only 27 and finally healthy. Oh yeah, he's also rushed for a billion yards each of the last four seasons.

PS: speaking as a longtime Alexander Mattison fantasy owner ... he ain't Dalvin Cook. Not even close.

Get this cat in Miami, STAT.

PPS: Am I including this little nugget about Dalvin Cook because he's been on an absolute retweet TEAR on Twitter today and I'd like to get in on it? Sure. But still, I'm a big fan.

Hit that button, Dalvin!

Oh yeah! The runs like a bull part. I almost forgot.

As Joe Kinsey would say, let's now go to the beautiful state of Texas!

Happy birthday, Jerry Stiller

That little video comes to us from Denton, where, apparently, the bull got loose while the owner was eating at Taco Casa. It led to a three-hour police chase that ended with it being tranquilized.

See, that's why you HAVE to remember to lock your bull up before going out for tacos. That's bull ownership 101.

Before we get to flexible Jennifer Aniston, I'd be remiss if I didn't wish the late Jerry Stiller a happy birthday. Stiller, who died in 2020, would've been 96 today, and he's still all over my TV.

From George Costanza's dad in Seinfeld, to Arthur Spooner in King of Queens, there was nobody better than Jerry Damn Stiller. Absolute legend.

Happy Festivus, big guy.

Take us home, flexible Jennifer Aniston

I could watch those all day long. There was nobody better. Still isn't. Probably won't ever be.

Anyone else feeling those pesky summertime allergies all of a sudden?

Anyyyyyyywho, here's Jennifer Aniston showing off her new workout routine to lift our spirits.

Unreal. Does Jen still have it, or what?

And no, losers. I ain't gonna comment on her allegedly going gray up top like some in the comment section are doing.

You'll leave Jennifer Aniston alone if you know what's good for you. Rachel Green can have whatever color hair she'd like and still be better than any of us.

We don't do Jennifer Aniston slander here. Not today, at least.

Now let's go have a night.

OutKick Nightcaps is a daily column set to run Monday through Friday at 4 p.m. (roughly, we’re not robots).

Should we all just LIV, Laugh and Love liek Paige Spiranac? Email me at Zach.Dean@OutKick.com.