Paige Spiranac Faces Golf Influencing War From Pohl-Thomas-Duddy Gang, Sam Darnold Memes & Flyer Dollar Dogs
*Disclaimer
I want to make something very clear from Monday Screencaps and the reader, Dominic, who is trying to rebuild the high school baseball program at his school. Some of you are reaching out with offers to the coach and I need to get this out on the table.
I AM 100% NOT ENDORSING YOU SENDING SUPPORT TO THE COLORADO BASEBALL PROGRAM. I AM ALSO NOT TELLING YOU WHAT TO DO WITH YOUR RESOURCES OR TIME. IN NO WAY AM I ENCOURAGING YOU TO SPEND ANY FUNDS ON THE COLORADO HIGH SCHOOL BASEBALL PROGRAM.
Just wanted to get that out on the table. I have never met Dominic. I'm just here telling his story.
Carry on.
What's the right side of history next Monday when Notre Dame and Ohio State meet?
— Two-Club Invitational veteran Dan C. writes in:
I have a question for the greatest column in the U.S. of A!
Since all the Notre Dame haters favored Navy over Notre Dame, claiming to be on the "right side of history", when many just wanted the Irish eliminated from the playoffs.
Now that we have the first African American coach in the Natty, and a former Buckeye at that, which team should we support in order to be on the "right side of history"?
Asking for a friend.
Kinsey:
- I didn't want Notre Dame eliminated from the playoffs; I wanted Army to be undefeated so that we had a chance to see the armed services in the playoff, which would've had heads rolling. Remember, I'm in the content business and an undefeated Army playing Navy with so much on the line would've been wild.
- Marcus Freeman is half-Asian and said when he took the Notre Dame job that he regretted choosing to attend Ohio State out of high school. Buckeyes fans haven't forgotten.
- This isn't about being on the right side of history. This is purely business and redemption against Lou Holtz.
— Jim T. in San Diego writes:
I’ll admit – after the 4th loss in a row to that team from up north, I had pitchfork ready for Coach Day.
I was wrong.
(Maybe Chris Y. should try to say that sometime. "I. Was. Wrong." But that doesn’t seem to be the "Texas" way.)
Was happy to see Charles K check in – not everyone in Texas is a UT fan. Ohio State fans need to remember that we have allies in East Lansing (as in, "the enemy of my enemy is my friend"). I guess there are some folks from Ohio who don’t like the Buckeyes … I’m looking at you, Brady Hoke … but really, it’s far more inconsequential than the number of Texas residents who just do’t like the Longhorns.
David in Illinois isn’t wrong about the coming tide of SEC whining.
As I wrote to your colleague Zach Dean a few weeks ago after some of his SEC whining,
"Here’s what we’ll have to do to keep you sad little SEC fans happy: The SEC is guaranteed a spot in the national title game, no matter what. The SEC champ should get 2 byes and advance straight to the national championship.
Even if they lose to Mercer in the regular season …"
You guys warned me that Mrs. Screencaps' indoor grow operation would…grow…and it is about to take the next step
Last night, she went out to her laboratory in our laundry room to plant 33 geranium seeds in little plastic planter cups.
Why is that a big deal?
Because now I'm officially on the clock. I promised her I would erect a new four-story storage bin rack in the basement that will be home to a new grow op. An expanded grow op.
She estimates the 33 geraniums will out-grow the laundry room rack in 30 days. If that basement grow op isn't ready to go, heads are going to roll and that would be around the Super Bowl and Valentine's Day. That will trickle down to the golf season and 2025 will be bad.
In other words, my ass better get in gear.
All I keep thinking is that the Feds are going to fly their heat-seeking drones over the house and they're going to think we have a pot operation in the basement. Meanwhile, she's going to have $200 worth of geraniums — I'm told that certain versions of the geraniums she's growing are "RARE" — and the Feds are going to bust down the front door.
If you work for the Feds and read this column, I just want you to know that she's growing coleus, double impatiens and the geraniums. WE ARE NOT GROWING POT. PLEASE MARK US DOWN IN THE DATABASE. DON'T BUST DOWN OUR DOOR. WE'RE A GOLDENDOODLE AND GERANIUM HOUSE, NOT A PITBULL AND POT OPERATION.
Screencaps Book Club
What are you guys reading? What's worth our time this winter when we're not expanding grow ops?
— Indy Daryl writes:
If JW wants a good series, tell him to check out the Gabriel Allon series by Daniel Silva. The inner workings of the spy world told from the standpoint of the Israeli spy agency There are about 20 books at this point. I’ve read about 15 of them and every single one is enjoyable. Are they predictable? Yup! Doesn’t matter. Each one is great.
Kinsey:
Send in your recommendations. What's a hot read?
Email: joekinsey@gmail.com
The art of sledding, kids are going to be kids & the ‘Tire method’
— Dave in Cache Valley checks in for the first time in years:
It’s been a couple of years since I last emailed. (I think I was one of your first emailers with photos for the TNML inaugural season.) Sorry for the old school email but I still haven’t been able to bring myself to getting onboard with all of the social media apps.
I figure that you’ll post what I need to see on Screencaps, and that’s good enough for me. Anyway, after reading your thoughts about sledding and also some of the responses, I thought you might get a kick out of this.
Last year we had a decent snow storm here in Cache Valley, Utah. My son, who was a senior in high school at the time, and a great kid with awesome friends, came to me late in the evening one night and said "Dad, I’m going to go do ‘tire method’ with my friends."
Well, like any decent father I looked at the clock (it seemed a little too late to me to be leaving the house) and also wondered what in the world "tire method" could be, but I wasn’t too concerned.
I assumed it meant that he and his buddies were going to get a snowmobile, side-by-side, four wheeler, or something like that and pull each other around on an old tire in a nice wide open field somewhere.
We live right at the base of the mountains and there are plenty of places for teenagers to enjoy those types of things. So, despite the late hour, I relented with the obligatory "ok, but don’t be dumb" comment. Fast-forward a few days and somehow these attached videos emerged. Please note, the biggest town in Cache Valley is Logan. Center Street is right down town and in no way should be the location that "tire method" should take place.
(Only a block from this location is where me and a handful of friends were caught by the cops with two pickup trucks full of manure to try and spread on a rival high school’s football field, but that’s a story for another day.)
Still though, I can’t help but find these videos hilarious.
Kinsey:
Wait until that pediatric doctor in Cincinnati who was 100% for the pussification of sledding sees this!
There are going to be some readers who are jealous of this snow dump in an empty town.
Screencaps readers are on the run
— Gen X Warren in Florida writes:
This past weekend, I raced another half iron distance triathlon. This one was in Sarasota and was very well organized, and the weather was nice and chilly to make it a little easier, especially on the run. I still think that Millennial Chris B in Bowling Green won’t have to worry about me beating his time, even if he has to take an in-race emergency dump.
Kinsey:
I'm not sure Millennial Chris B. in Bowling Green is in race shape these days after spending all winter crawling under houses and working hard as a gas man. Mix in running between kids' hockey games, soccer games and whatever else the kids have going on and running is the last thing on that guy's mind right now.
Would you watch?
I'm easily paying $69.99 to watch this on Netflix. I'd pay the $69.99 on top of whatever else Netflix is charging us. GIVE ME THIS CONTENT.
Rate This Breakfast
DEI is being eliminated across corporate America. Tipping needs to go next
Yes, I will keep hammering this topic.
Just a quiet Monday night in Estepona, Spain
— Mike T. writes:
Sunset over the Mediterranean Sea, those are the Pillars of Hercules in the distance!
http://traftonseuropeantour20242025.com/2025/01/14/1-14-2025-estepona-spain/
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That's it this morning. It's 9 a.m. and I need to get my day rolling.
It's cold. It's January. I have a grow op to build.
Go find something to do in the dead of winter that will pay dividends this summer.
Have a great day.
Email: joekinsey@gmail.com