OutKick Holiday Gift Guide 2022, Wives And Girlfriends Edition
Well guys, it's that time of year again!
When it comes to Christmas gifts, I’ve noticed a clear pattern: the more children I have, the more seriously I take receiving gifts from my husband.
One kid: Don’t worry about it, babe. I’m good with a card! Our sweet daughter and our little family is my real gift this year.
Two kids: Whew, things feel a little insane lately! I would love a necklace or a cute yet functional pair of shoes to make me feel human again. But no pressure! And please don’t spend too much on me.
Three kids: (Taking a brief pause from Googling "How to know if your kids are sociopaths" to say): Strap on your spendin’ pants, honey. And buckle them tightly, because they aren't coming off any time soon. I've shared a Google Drive with you of everything I need, broken down into categories and sub-categories. There's a category called "Items That Must Be Purchased If You Ever Want To Sleep With Me Again," you might want to highlight that one. I've also printed it out and put a copy in your office, your car and taped it to the wall next to the toilet for some light reading.
Even if your wife or girlfriend doesn't have kids, she deserves amazing, thoughtful gifts this Christmas. We women have been through a lot this year, you know. For one, when hot women like Emily Ratajkowski are getting cheated on, there is zero hope for the rest of us normals. Try coping with that.
Next, we were subjected to Adam Levine’s cringey texts which made us depressed on behalf of all womankind. (“I may need to see the booty” is permanently seared into my brain, unfortunately.) On top of all of that, low-rise jeans are coming back in style. Like I said, IT'S BEEN A ROCKY YEAR. So it's time to pony up and pamper your ladyfriend.
Everything on this list is either something I want or I already have. If you have any questions or something is sold out, don't hesitate to reach out to me and I'll help you find an alternate or similar item. GIVING UP IS NOT AN OPTION.
Happy shopping, fellas.
For the Fashionista
I don’t know a woman with a pulse who doesn’t want something—anything!— from Yearly Co (myself included, if you’re reading this, Barton Simmons). These hoops are stunning yet understated, and she’ll wear them forever. And if you buy them for her, she’ll love you forever. Or at least until you screw up again.
These shoes are touted as “the go-to fall shoe of the stars.” Everyone your girlfriend wants to be is wearing these Ugg slippers (and by that I mean Gigi Hadid and Hailey Bieber. Because every woman wants to be the woman married to Justin Bieber. Right? …Just me?) They are sold out at a lot of places so if you find them, snatch them up.
A dainty gold chain is timeless and one of the safest gifts you can buy for the woman in your life. It’s feminine and delicate enough to wear every day, or she can layer it with her other necklaces. It’s a no-brainer. Depending on how much you want to spend (aka depending on how much you truly love your wife), I’ve included three different price point options:
You can’t go wrong with a classic, cozy, cream sweater in the winter. She can wear this with literally anything. In fact, it would look great with the next two items on the list…just sayin’.
Every woman needs a pair of neutral suede booties in her fall/winter wardrobe. It’s just a fact. And these are a solid, safe choice.
Mother “Hustler Ankle Fray” Jeans
I’m pretty sure I’ve told y’all this before, but it’s important enough that I feel like I need to say (shout?) it several more times: Mother Jeans are the best jeans because they will make your wife’s ass look good. Yes, guy who has a very doubtful look on his face, even YOUR wife’s ass. (Don’t worry, I won’t tell her how skeptical you were.) I don’t know how they do it, but these jeans make everyone’s backside look like a work of art. They are pricey, but these jeans put in the work, so your wife doesn’t have to. (But I mean, she should probably still do some squats here and there for good measure.)
Krewe sunglasses are hands down the best sunglasses around. I have this exact pair and wear them every day. They are expensive but they’re worth it because they last forever. And if they do break somehow, Krewe will give you another pair for free. Very handy for moms with maniac children, aka myself.
Anything personalized feels like you put a lot more thought and effort into it, even though you are literally just clicking a link I’m providing for you. Your secret is safe with me, pal.
Veja Sneakers
You can't go wrong with timeless white sneakers, and every woman loves the Veja brand to go with any outfit.
For the Homebody
Never underestimate the power of comfy, cozy socks on a cold morning. However, I strongly advise pairing this gift with another gift (preferably the diamond necklace?). Your wife will love the socks if they come with a diamond; your wife will hate the socks (and you) if these socks are her only gift.
She can light this candle while she’s lounging in her cozy socks and diamond necklace. Everyone is obsessed with this specific candle (it’s been voted Candle Of The Year in the past— I bet you didn’t know there were candle awards, did you? Stick with me, guys, I’ll teach you the important things.)
Guys, it’s time to accept that we are not going to be wearing lingerie to bed every night. (Or, if you’re me, any night.) Ladies, what do we want? COMFY PJS! THAT ARE ALSO CHIC! When do we want them? FOR CHRISTMAS! OR RIGHT NOW, IF YOU’RE FEELING GENEROUS! These silky smooth pjs are super luxurious, super cute, and they have pockets. You know how we women love a good pocket.
If you think this is too much money for a pillowcase and hair ties, you’re probably (absolutely) right. BUT, it’s been proven that sleeping on silk pillowcases helps to improve the health and radiance of both hair and skin and even dermatologists recommend it. Plus, I will say that sleeping on a silk pillowcase would make me feel like I was Beyonce, even with my nighttime zit cream and retainer in. Which is worth way more than $89, in my opinion.
I used to think robes were a cop-out Christmas gift, but now as a tired mom of three, I fully understand the power and beauty of a great, cozy, plush robe like this one.
For the Sporty Gal
A good mix of sporty and stylish, these are great, neutral, crowd-pleasing sneakers.
Women love a puffer vest. I can’t explain it, it just is what it is. This is a cute one that will actually keep her warm.
I’ll admit, I didn’t get the hype about these. Aren’t they just pants? And I hate being wrong, and hate even more admitting it out loud, but… I was wrong. I bought these a few months ago and have had a hard time taking them off. They are GOOD. Super soft and cozy, but also stylish enough to run errands in without looking frumpy.
Another great basic for a sporty chic look. You can never go wrong with anything from Lululemon.
She can wear this over her shoulder or around her waist; perfect for walks, taking the kids to the park or any other casual outing.
On Cloudrift Sneaker
A much cuter version of the beloved On sneakers; she can wear these to work out or just run errands in.
For the Entertainer/Hostess
Half Baked Harvest Everyday Cookbook
If your wife is the cooking kind, first, know that my husband is jealous. Second, you need to buy her Tieghan Gerard’s newest cookbook. If your wife loves to cook, she will definitely know who Tieghan is and probably follows her on Instagram. If you want to be an over-achiever, go ahead and buy THIS cookbook stand while you’re at it.
Oven mits, but make them fashionable. That’s my mantra when it comes to oven mits. Doesn’t everyone have an oven mit mantra? If you don’t have an oven mit mantra, you need to reevaluate your priorities. Anyways, these are unique and will look amazing hanging in her kitchen.
Personally, an air fryer has totally revolutionized my life. I use it every single day, multiple times. It’s easy and fast and makes everything taste better. Also, it can make delicious chicken wings. Have I sold you yet?
Move over, sports posters or dead animal heads (or whatever questionable things you guys like to hang on walls)— it’s your wife’s turn to decorate. Lizzy Love is a Nashville-based artist who is known for painting abstract portraits of women, and I’m currently obsessed with everything she does. This particular one is 10x10, which would be a perfect gift for your wife because it could go literally anywhere in her home. Look on Lizzy’s website for bigger options, if you’re feeling like outdoing all of your other guy friends this year.
Show her how supportive you are of her monthly (weekly?) wine nights with her girlfriends by surprising her with new, beautiful wine glasses. You know what they say, the way to a woman’s heart is through her wine glass! (Do people say that? Do only I say that? Am I an alcoholic? Crap, are we out of wine? BRB heading to the liquor store.)
Interior Designer Consult
If your wife wants to give your home a refresh but doesn’t know where to start or needs a little direction, buy her a consultation with a local interior designer. This one requires a little more digging/research on your end, so this gift is only for the more ambitious/overachieving men. Ask some of your wife’s friends who their favorite designers are or do some Googling.
For the Beauty Lover
I fully acknowledge that this is an absurd price for a hairdryer. But if you’re shopping for the gal who has everything, this is a luxury item she would love. The Dyson website says it’s supposed to protect hair from heat damage, increase smoothness by 75%, and increase shine by up to 132%. Numbers don’t lie, people! Well, except for maybe that last number. 132%?! Come on, Dyson, that seems a little extreme, no?
Buy two of the brand’s most popular products with this set: clarifying pads to brighten and tone, and a youth serum to hydrate, plump and— have I lost you yet? Your eyes are glazed over, guys. Okay, just push Add To Cart and get on with your day.
If you don’t want to kiss sandpaper lips when you make out with your girlfriend this winter, buy this. (Notice how I didn’t say "make out with your wife,” because that would be absurd. Everyone knows married people don’t make out. Married people schedule sex and get disgruntled when their partner’s knee is on their side of the bed. Add kids in, and the situation gets even more depressing!) This brand of lip moisturizers has a cult following, and for good reason. When I run out of mine, I get crippling anxiety (even more than usual).
This kit has a collection of the best-selling makeup products for your gal to experiment with. It will provide endless fun and entertainment for her, giving you more time to yourself to watch sports.
Another product with a cult following, this hair mask reverses damage in four minutes. (Hair damage*, not the immense damage you’ve done in the past. Nothing can reverse that.)
