Original Hooters Girl Lynne Austin Still Packs A Punch, Masters Girl Goes Viral Again & Is Caitlin Clark Done?
Well … now what?
The Masters is over – and, frankly, it was the second Scottie teed off Thursday – and now we're just back to nothingness on a slow mid-April Monday. Sad.
I guess we have the WNBA draft tonight if that's your thing. Not sure we'll have as many WNBA draft parties as we had Masters parties over the weekend, but Caitlin Clark has so far proved to buck all the other trends, so maybe she has another trick up her sleeve? We'll see.
Speaking of Caitlin … we'll talk about her today, because part of me thinks this is the last real time she'll be a draw. Maybe not.
But I just think people are underestimating how little the WNBA moves the needle compared to women's college basketball. Maybe I'm wrong. I reckon you'll tell me if I am. Lord knows some of the OutKick-crazed writers out there would.
(if you know, you know. If you don't, don't bother wasting your time trying to figure it out).
On that note, welcome to a Monday Nightcaps – the one where we welcome back original Hooters girl Lynne Austin on her 63rd birthday. Can't think of a better pick-me-up on a sad post-Masters Monday, frankly.
What else? We'll check in with the OG Masters Girl, Aaliyah Kikumoto, because she was back in action over the weekend, address my Caitlin Clark question, talk about the dumbest gambling decision I've ever made and dive into the Neal Shipley-Tiger Woods notegate.
Sound like a plan? Of course it does! We're not here to sulk during this post-Masters class. We're here to get everyone fired up for another big week of shenanigans.
So grab a spiral ham for National Spiral Ham Day (true story), and settle in for a Monday 'Cap!
Lynne Austin, the original Hooters girl, turns 63 today
Can't believe the powers that be dared to make National Spiral Ham Day the same day as Lynne Austin's birth, but whatever. You just can't fix stupid.
Anyway, Lynne – the original Hooters girl – turns 63 today. Time flies! She was also a Playboy Playmate back in 1986, and the Dutch Playmate of the Year in 1987. Hell of a resume.
Because Instagram will apparently just never work again for us, I can't really show you any current pictures of Lynne. But, take my word for it – she had it then, and she still has it now.
And hey! Chase Elliott put the Hooters Chevy back in Victory Lane yesterday at Texas for the first time since 1992.
1992!
And they say NASCAR isn't romantic.
Happy 63rd, Lynne. Make commercials great again!
Masters Girl had a big weekend at Augusta
The chick with a flick. I mean, are those the best or what? It's amazing how good TV used to be. It's all just so, so bad now.
We used to be a proper country. We used to set the standard. Now, we just get a billion Ozempic commercials a day and a couple Morgan & Morgan settlements. Sad.
Now, let's head over to Augusta and check in with another OG – Masters Girl Aaliyah Kikumoto.
SeanJo covered her yesterday after a few members of the 'Caps Crew – me, Sean and Joe – received an inside tip on her nightmare travel situation last week, so check that out here.
All's well that ends well, though, because it looks like Aaliyah regrouped just in time for a big Masters Sunday.
It's called being a consummate professional and never giving up, folks. You should try it some time!
See you next year, Augusta
Hooters girl? Check. Masters girl? Check! What the hell else do y'all want on an otherwise slow Monday in April? Come on. Elite start to class.
Anyway, another year in the books for The Masters. The next major? Next month, in Kentucky. Talk about a HUGE month for Louisville. You're getting the Derby on May 4 and then the PGA Championship two weeks later.
I reckon that local economy will be doing just fine when the quarterly reviews start rolling around in July.
Before we bid farewell to Augusta, though, we need to talk about this wild little moment in yesterday's presser:
I mean, what's going on there? What am I missing? Unreal exchange, and I don't really see any further answers on the internet.
Did Tiger hand Neil Shipley a note on the 8th fairway? Is someone being held hostage? Maybe it was just a Zyn? Is this reporter just insane?
A lot of questions, very few (none) answers. Ton of memes, though!
Caitlin Clark's (last) big night? Also, I'm an idiot
A list of the hottest waffle house waitresses in Augusta has to be the shortest list in the history of lists, no? Don't get me wrong, I love Waffle House. It's what makes this country great.
But it ain't Hooters, and Lynne Austin ain't walking through those cheesy eggs doors.
Rapid-fire time as we gear up for a huge week. First up?
The WNBA Draft is tonight, which means Caitlin Clark watch is BACK after taking a week off.
I'll be honest with you – I have no clue where she's supposed to go. I assume No. 1, but I just don't have it in me to look up WNBA mock drafts. Can't do it.
Which got me thinking … do people really think Clark and Angel Reese are about to make the WNBA must-see TV? I feel like people really think those two are gonna revive that league, and I just don't see it.
Caitlin Clark is a pistol, but she also played women's college basketball, which is just light years ahead of the WNBA. Always has been, always will be. Even if you don't like women's college basketball, you can admit that.
I guess I'm just struggling to believe people are going to follow Clark to the WNBA. Maybe for the first few games (and really just the first), but after that? I assume we'll just sort of move on. And it's got nothing to do with Clark, by the way. She's electric.
But I don't think we're gonna be sitting here a few months now counting down the minutes to the big Indiana Fever game. Are you? No shot, right?
This wasn't terrible, though:
I mean, it's not great because SNL is pretty bad nowadays, but I've seen worse. I'm just shocked none of the liberal lunatics have bitched about Clark getting the SNL invite before/instead of the South Carolina contingent.
Just give it time. It's only Monday!
Next? I know I promised we'd leave Augusta, but I can’t get enough of the Tiger-tree-Verne meme:
Can I be honest? Of course I can. It's my class.
I don't get the Verne stuff from yesterday. I get that it was his last Masters, but my God, you would've thought he was dying the way whispering Jim Nantz and Co. were acting all day.
I mean, good God. How many tributes do we need? Can we NOT make something about us – the media – one freaking time? Can we do that?
All-time tree-blocking moment, though. No arguing that.
Anything else I'm missing before we get on outta here? Oh yeah! I'm such a dummy.
I'm on an all-time betting cold streak right now. Shocking stuff. Can't catch a break.
Anyway, I had a three-team parlay working yesterday in baseball that depended on said three teams hitting their OVERS on their run totals.
The first two hit easily. Last team I needed was the Blue Jays to score one more freaking run for a nice $300 payout.
They got down to two outs in the 8th, with nobody on, and I knew they weren't gonna bat again in the 9th. So, I panicked, and cashed out … for $13. Not making $13, but getting just $13 of my $50 back.
They promptly strung together three straight hits, and scored. I tossed my phone into the Atlantic and called it a day.
The end.
See? Idiot. I still haven't recovered and it's been 24 hours. Just brutal.
Anyway, Paris Hilton is at Coachella and looks hot. That's all I have to take us into a big week. Lord knows mine can't get any worse.
Side note: Paris Hilton? Who knew she was still cranking out heaters like this in 2024? Wild.
Now, let's go have a week.
OutKick Nightcaps is a daily column set to run Monday through Friday at 4 p.m. (roughly, we’re not robots).
Will Caitlin Clark save the WNBA? Email me at Zach.Dean@OutKick.com.