Olivia Munn Slams Girl-Boss Space Trip, Dire Wolf Is Back, Airplane Etiquette & Burrito Influencers

Send me your prayers on Saturday.

A few months ago, I told y'all I signed up for a Mammoth March (well, two of them actually) — a 20-mile hiking event where you're supposed to finish in less than eight hours. I had big plans back then of training pretty intensely to get ready for the excruciatingly long distance and the 2,300 feet of elevation gain at Alabama's Oak Mountain State Park.

Well, I didn't do that. I mean, sure, I still did my regular weekend hikes, but the longest one so far this year topped out at 12 miles. And that was two months ago.

In other words, Saturday is going to be rough. And that's putting it mildly.

But my mama didn't raise no quitter, so I'm gonna pop some Aleve, eat a bunch of carbs and power right through that sonofabitch. And if I'm not here for Nightcaps next Tuesday, just know I probably died.

In other news:

• I hate the Florida Gators. Like, REALLY hate them. I could be happy for just about anyone to win the National Championship except them and Ala-damn-bama. But here we are — subjected to that insufferable arm-chomping taunt for the foreseeable future. All because Houston sh*t the bed on its final possession. Mostly, I'm mad that I stayed up past my bedtime for that.

• That four-part miniseries ‘Adolescence’ on Netflix that everyone is talking about is pure garbage. The acting is great, I'll give them that. But the last two episodes (and especially the last one) were so boring I think I'd rather watch the ending of the National Championship game on repeat than be subjected to that again. If you haven't seen it, do yourself a favor and spend the four hours doing something — literally anything — else.
• Should I watch ‘The White Lotus’? I don't even know what it's about, but it's all I'm seeing all over the Internet. I will say I usually steer clear of shows that feature excessive gratuitous nudity and graphic sex scenes. That's part of the reason I refuse to watch 'Game of Thrones.' I'm not a prude, I swear, it's just so unnecessary, forced and awkward. And HBO, for some reason, cannot figure out how to produce a show without it. Then again, I do like ‘The Righteous Gemstones,’ so I've seen enough of Walton Goggins' manhood to last a lifetime. No one loves full-frontal male nudity as much as Danny McBride does.

Don't watch this clip at work:

• Womansplaining is back! I took a couple of months' hiatus from the weekly column just because, quite frankly, I was going THROUGH it after I lost my dog, and I didn't have the capacity to be smart and funny to the standard I hold Womansplaining. But I appreciate your patience (and all the emails urging me to bring it back). So check out last week's installment and go ahead and email your thoughts/gripes/questions to Amber.Harding@outkick.com for future editions.

Enough rambling from me. Settle in and grab a beverage of your choice. It's Nightcaps time!

Olivia Munn Is Not Down With Outer Space

Next week, six women — most notably, Katy Perry, Gayle King and Jeff Bezos' fiancée Lauren Sánchez — are jetting off into space on Blue Origin’s girl-boss space mission. They're going to get all glammed up for the whopping 11-minute ride into outer space, and they even posed for the cover of ELLE Magazine to celebrate their accomplishment "for all womankind."

And by accomplishment I just mean the obscene amount of money they undoubtedly forked over to participate in this publicity stunt.

Katy Perry even said she's going to put the "ass" in "astronaut." Certainly a giant leap for all womankind.

While co-hosting Today with Jenna and Friends on Thursday, Olivia Munn blasted these broads (and Blue Origin) for wasting a ton of money and resources on something so utterly pointless.

"What are they doing?" Munn asked. "I know this probably isn’t the cool thing to say, but there are so many other things that are so important in the world right now… Space exploration was to further our knowledge and to help mankind. What are they gonna do up there that has made it better for us down here?

"I know this is probably obnoxious, but like, it’s so much money to go to space, and there’s a lot of people who can’t even afford eggs."

When I was a kid, my grandma always used the phrase, "What's that got to do with the price of eggs?!"

This is the first time in my life I've been able to use that phrase literally. A few stupidly-rich women taking an 11-minute vacation into orbit hardly has anything to do with the price of eggs. But I do see Olivia's point.

This is a colossal waste of money and resources — and it probably shouldn't be celebrated by a bunch of Hollywood celebrities who love to lecture us about social justice, politics and the economy.

On the other hand, Hollywood spends money on stupid, pointless things all the time. I mean, Disney just forked over $270 million on Snow White, and look how that turned out.

I'm willing to bet Olivia Munn herself has spent way too much money on things she doesn't really need, too. So maybe she shouldn't throw stones.

However, I do think it's stupid to go to outer space just for funsies.

Are y'all familiar with simulation theory? It's the idea that our perceived reality is actually a computer simulation, possibly created by a higher being or an advanced civilization.

Now, I'm not necessarily saying I subscribe to that theory, but if I did, I'd argue that we probably shouldn't be trying to stray too far outside of the Earth's atmosphere or too deep into the ocean. 

You know when you play a video game, the universe of that game is only programmed so far. Like, if you fall off Rainbow Road in Mario Kart, you just cease to exist. Your character dies, and a new one takes its place back within the proper boundaries of the game.

I think that's sort of what happens when humans try to go where they shouldn't go. Just ask those guys from that Titanic sub. And they spent a lot of money doing that, too.

Michelle Williams Plays Footsie

I feel like deviant airplane behavior is a common thing here on ‘Caps, but it’s only because some people really seem to lose their minds when they soar above 10,000 feet. Maybe it's that whole simulation theory thing.

And speaking of feet, look what Michelle Williams (aka one-third of Destiny's Child) had to deal with on her recent flight.

This is foul behavior. Unacceptable. Straight to jail. And in first class, too!

I don't fly very often. I prefer to drive everywhere I go so that I can take my dog. And it's incidents like this that make me feel very satisfied with that decision.

While I've never had someone's foot on my arm rest on a plane, I've certainly been stuck next to people who apparently forgot to take a shower for several days before the flight, people who believe they're entitled to more arm and leg room than I am and people who insist on using the overhead light during a red eye.

What's the most egregious airplane behavior you've witnessed? Email me at Amber.Harding@outkick.com and let me know.

Flying isn't all bad, though. This girl Rachel seemed to really enjoy her last trip.

Austin Wells Is A Burrito Influencer

Bored during a recent stint in Pittsburgh, New York Yankees catcher Austin Wells decided to start an Instagram account where he rates burritos. He began on Thursday with a chorizo breakfast burrito from Parkhurt Dining, who was catering in the visiting clubhouse at PNC Park.

A 1 to 100 rating scale is wild, but I respect it.

"I just wanted to be different," Wells said on Saturday. "I feel like everyone uses a 1 out of 10, and I didn’t want to be like everybody else. I wanted to be different."

True, true. And this is why not everyone can be a burrito influencer.

With just two reviews down, Wells has already garnered nearly 66,000 followers on Instagram, and the number is growing by the hour. So he has to stick with it now.

I just checked the Yankees schedule. If you're a burrito in Detroit, your days are numbered.

The Dire Wolf Is Back!

And now for a creature whose days ended 10,000 years ago… or so we thought!

Scientists have brought the Dire Wolf back from extinction. (If you watched Game of Thrones, you saw one of these somewhere in between all the unnecessary rape scenes.) Somehow, a company called Colossal Bioscience created two Dire Wolf puppies, Romulus and Remus, using ancient DNA extracted from fossilized remains.

We all saw Jurassic Park, but scientists juuuuust can't help themselves, can they?

So what makes a Dire Wolf different from the regular kind of wolf we already have? Well, apparently, they are "larger and more robust, with a heavier build, broader heads and more powerful jaws and teeth."

It is unclear how they're going to introduce these long-gone wolves back into the wild without wildly disrupting the existing ecosystem and food chain, but hey, that's a problem for another time.

They are really cute, though.

I think I'd be in trouble if I ever saw a wolf in the wild. I love dogs so much I'd probably convince myself that this massive apex predatorial canine would love me, too.

And then boom. I'm deader than I'm gonna be after 20 miles in the woods (with no wolves) on Saturday.

These Colossal Bioscience people also have plans to bring back the Wooly Mammoth, the Dodo Bird and the Tasmanian Tiger. They say dinosaurs are not possible to revive because — after 66 million years — their DNA is far too old and degraded to be viable for cloning or genetic engineering.

Some scientists are exploring the possibility of "reverse engineering" birds by manipulating their genes to resemble certain dinosaur traits, though. So in a couple of decades when you see a chicken walking around in a Velociraptor body, don't say I didn't warn you.

Stuff I Liked

OutKick Nightcaps is a daily column set to run Monday through Friday at 4 p.m.

Follow me on X / Twitter at @TheAmberHarding or email me at Amber.Harding@OutKick.com.