Olivia Dunne Reminds America How Flexible She Is, The Lazy Libs Plan The Dumbest Boycott Ever & Media Fight!

Over the hump and off to the races, boys and girls. It's all downhill from here, and that's a good thing in this case!

I've got a Bachelor Party to gear up for, so we're gonna dive into today's class head first. No time to waste. Today is the day for carbo-loading and hydration. All the ducks have to be in a row this time Friday, because it's all-systems-go after that. 

A weekend parading through downtown St. Augustine with the boys, playing 18, slamming down drinks like I'm 20 again and NOT the only married-wth-kids member on the trip? Sign me up! 

Will I feel like a chaperon? Maybe. Probably. Whatever. Toby once told me I ain't as good as I once was, but I'm as good once as I ever was, and I'm gonna test out that theory this weekend.

Let's roll. 

Welcome to a Thursday Nightcaps – the one where Olivia Dunne reminds us all that she's still got her fastball on the eve of baseball season. 

What else? I've got the Libs planning to boycott our economy Friday in just the most perfect way possible, a couple BIG Js throwing hands at the Starbucks and Steak 'n Shake becoming the official MAHA chain of #ThePeople. 

We love Steak ‘n Shake! Great burgers, great fries, great shakes, and great beef tallow! While the media is focused on the measles' outbreak, Nightcaps is diving into Steak ’n Shake. 

Choose your fighter. 

Grab you an original double steakburger with cheese, and settle in for a Thursday 'Cap!

Steak 'n Shake steps up to the plate

This is actually a two-parter to the start the day, so strap in. Told you we weren't messing around today. I've got golf clubs to clean and bags to pack. 

The first part? It's obviously about Steak 'n Shake – a great establishment that will soon replace the Starbucks as the go-to place for Suburban moms. They've leaned all the way into RFK and MAHA, and I think it's about to pay huge dividends. 

The moms LOVE beef tallow. Love the stuff. Olive oil is OUT, beef tallow is IN. God help you if you still use Pam. Remember Pam? Used to love that stuff. Not anymore! It's a new era in America, and we are DONE stuffing our fat faces with grease. 

By the way, Steak 'n Shake fries are 1000% on the Mount Rushmore of fries. Where, you ask? Numero Damn Uno:

1. Steak 'n Shake

2. McDonald's

3. Chick-fil-A

4. Checkers! 

Honorable mention: BK chicken fries from back in the day. What a time period that was. We used to have it so good. 

Anyway, that was Part 1. Part II is courtesy of Screencaps Joe, who posed what I thought was just an excellent question over on Elon's Twitter last night:

The Libs will NOT be dining anywhere tomorrow!

It's such a great question, and an even better idea. Remember the days of the Taco Bell-KFC-Pizza Hut combo locations? We really did have it all. 

RFK may not bring these bad boys back any time soon, but goodness gracious me, they were amazing:

Chills just looking at it. I can still smell it today. Like a Blockbuster or a K-Mart. The scent is what really made those old places special. 

Anyway, back to Joe's question … I love the idea of a Hooters/Cracker Barrel combo. Frankly, it may be the thing that saves Hooters. Joe is 100% right. I know I vouched for Twin Peaks yesterday, and I stand by it, but the problem with that is the vibes would be too similar. 

Twin Peaks is sort of a naughty Cracker Barrel if you think about it. Similar decor. Different uniforms, thank God, but similar everything else. 

With Hooters, you'd have the orange shorts walking around serving you a hot Sunrise Sampler, and that sounds like maybe the most American breakfast of all time. 

They could greet you in the rocking chairs as you walk up. Play the giant checkers game with you while you wait for your basket of biscuits. Lord knows they could sell the shit out of some old-timey candy from 1947. 

There's something there. Let's workshop it this weekend and reconvene Monday. 

NOW, back to business … you know who won't be dining at Hooters, Cracker Barrel, or anywhere else in the US of A tomorrow? 

The LIBS!

Big J battle, Livvy is BACK & Happy Epstein Files Day!

The BEST. These people are truly the best. I love deranged Libs. Nothing fires me up more than a wacky Lib who thinks … they're the NORMAL ones. It's amazing how far in the sand their actual heads are. 

As Cousin Eddie from Christmas Vacation once beautifully said, they're the gift that keeps on giving the whole year!

Honestly, I want them to do this every single day for the rest of eternity. Could you imagine a world where all the insane Libs just … stayed home? Imagine how awesome our country would be? How peaceful it would be. How much shit we’d all collectively get done. 

No more Karens yelling in the streets. No more of those weirdo artsy people chaining themselves to buildings. No more nonsense. Just regular, sane Americans … going about our lives, unimpeded. 

It would be paradise. 

OK, rapid-fire time on this final Thursday of February. First up? Phase I of the Epstein logs are being released as we speak, which gives me the chance to welcome the GOAT Ricky Gervais to class!

Maybe my favorite monologue of all time, at any event. Frankly, the whole thing deserves another look today, but we don't have time. Well, I don't. If YOU do, here ya go! I'd skip to the 6:45 mark for the good stuff. 

Never gets old. The best. The last time one of those insufferable award shows was worth watching. 

Now, something that would 100% be worth watching? Ian vs. Fox Sports' own, Jordan Schultz!

Is there anything that better sums up the Big Js than a cat-fight at a Starbucks over wording on a story? I mean, it's perfect. Could you imagine getting that pissed at something so trivial? The egos in that world are insane. I've seen it up close. You sit there and think it's shtick, but it's not. 

Big Js are NUTS. Sort of like softball parents. 

PS: I like Ian, but that fight would be over in about four seconds. Jordan is built like a tight end. 

Finally, let's end class by reminding everyone that Olivia Dunne – who we really don't talk about anymore – is very much still alive in 2025. 

And baseball season is right around the corner. Perfect timing!

See you tomorrow. 

OutKick Nightcaps is a daily column set to run Monday through Friday at 4 p.m. (roughly, we’re not robots).

Which two restaurants do you wanna see team up? Email me at Zach.Dean@OutKick.com.