Olivia Dunne Caught Photoshopping, Lionel Messi's Bodyguard Does Not Play, AI Recreates NFL Mascots & Alien Spotted In Bolivia
I'm so happy I could cry.
Y'all, we did it. We made it to football season.
Amber, college football started two weeks ago.
I'm aware. And it was awesome. As a Tennessee fan (or any fan of a Top-25 team), there was nothing more beautiful than watching Florida, LSU and Clemson all fall in Week 1.
And Keith Olbermann got to cheer on some marching bands, so we're glad he had a nice time, too.
But this weekend is what we've been waiting for since February. All the excitement of our beloved college football Saturdays plus...
And I'm actually going to be able to watch all the football this weekend without distraction. See, normally I work on Saturdays and Sundays (because I am so dedicated to you, the OutKick readers.) But this weekend, I'm headed to Chicago with my parents.
A little nervous about the weekly double-digit murder thing in Chi-town, but otherwise I'm looking forward to a little getaway in 70-degree weather. (As opposed to what I've been dealing with in Middle Tennessee, which currently feels like Hell's front porch.)
My dad is legitimately the biggest Miami Dolphins fan I've ever met (sorry, Zach Dean), and he raised me to experience the same life of disappointment and misery. But every fall, I soak myself in the delusion that this is, in fact, our year.
So if you live in Chicago (or frequent the Windy City), please send me your recommendations for best sports bars because Roger and I are going to need a place to post up. Preferably a bar with good food, solid beer specials and nice bartenders who won't groan at me when I ask them to put on the Dolphins game for the only two people in the bar who care about the Dolphins game.
Speaking of, I think it's time for a cold beer right now. Sober August is over, my friends, let's get Nightcaps rolling!
AI Recreates NFL Mascots
As a writer, I wake up to a slew of press releases in my inbox every morning. Most of them are from publicists wanting free advertising for a product they're selling. So most of them go directly in the trash.
But this particular press release caught my eye.
The team at PlayStar — which is some sort of casino app — used Artificial Intelligence to create an artistic rendering of all 32 NFL mascots.
Some of them actually turned out kind of cool. For example, I'd like to see an actual fight between this swashbuckling pirate and this pillaging Norseman.
And this battle between a scary jungle cat and a majestic horse looks way more exciting than the actual game will be.
But some of the AI depictions really missed the mark.
For example, how about the late afternoon showdown between special-needs dolphin and headless, electrocuted man.
And make sure you tune in to see the spikey White Ranger conquer a mini horse in a Raggedy Ann wig.
But they all pale in comparison to the battle royale between a cuddly raccoon and a chill AF Saint Bernard.
I used to work for the Tennessee Titans, and I'm well aware their mascot is a trash panda because it is the state animal of Tennessee. But that didn't stop me from ugly snort laughing when I opened this next graphic.
AI had an opportunity here to do an epic matchup between a mighty Greek Titan and a true-to-life, giant-chinned Sir Saint. But no. Instead, they drew inspiration from a backyard battle between a woodland critter and the family dog.
In all honesty, though, I watched my dog run a possum up the fence last week, and that was pretty entertaining. So maybe I'm being too critical.
Olivia Dunne Is The Photoshop Queen
OK, I'm going to do something you've never seen done at OutKick: I'm going to criticize Olivia Dunne.
A few months back, an Instagram user named John Dorsey posted a video showing how the LSU gymnast edits every single Instagram photo to make herself look skinnier. The curved doorframes and distorted chairs in the background show Livvy clearly cinched her waist to the point where there's no room left for her internal organs.
Now, before y'all call me a hater or say I'm just a jealous old hag, let me make something abundantly clear: Olivia Dunne is a gorgeous girl with a killer body. That's true without Photoshop. Which is what makes this whole thing so ridiculous.
After homeboy called her out, Livvy deleted several photos. But then she told on herself again. She grabbed photos that were published elsewhere (by LSU, magazines, etc.) and edited those to, once again, make herself look even tinier than she already is.
And TikTok took notice.
Those are just a few examples. But if you care enough to search it, there are hundreds of videos.
But WHY, LIVVY?!
Dunne is nation's highest-paid female student-athlete with an annual value of $3.3 million, per On3. And let's just be honest here: It's because she's hot.
So I get why she feels pressured to look perfect in all her pictures. Let she who has never filtered a photo cast the first stone. And Lord knows she isn't the only influencer — male or female — doing this.
But the extent of her photo manipulating is concerning. And when someone like Livvy Dunne doesn't believe she's good enough as she is, it's just further proof that this influencer culture is entirely out of control.
So, a public service announcement from the President of the OutKick Editorial Women's Club:
The OutKick Editorial Women's Club is not a real thing, by the way. But I said what I said.
Now, back to Nightcaps.
Lionel Messi's Bodyguard Is Doing The Most
During Sunday's match between Inter Miami and LAFC, a fan wearing a Lionel Messi Barcelona jersey rushed the field to get a hug from his favorite soccer star.
Bad idea.
Watch Messi's bodyguard — miles ahead of stadium security — intercept this rogue fan and put him in a chokehold.
Now, if this is your first time hearing of Messi's personal bodyguard, meet Yassine Chueko.
Inter Miami hired Chueko to look after Messi following a personal recommendation from club president David Beckham. His job is to stay as close to the international soccer superstar as possible — guarding him from soccer balls, T-shirts and even fans who want to put their hands on his shoulder for a photo.
Take a look.
I wonder if I could borrow him to escort me around Chicago this weekend.
Anyway, according to The Spun, Chueko is a former Navy SEAL who served in Iraq and Afghanistan. Although That claim, though, is still in dispute. Current and former SEALs unit told The Daily Mail they had never heard of him and that his name did not appear in a database of SEAL veterans they had access to.
But we do know he's a former MMA fighter. Here's a super weird video.
We Have An Alien Sighting In Bolivia
A photograph has surfaced that allegedly shows a partially transparent alien walking along the Pilcomayo River in Tarija, Bolivia, according to The Sun.
But is it real?
Watch this and decide for yourself.
My friend and colleague David Hookstead is skeptical. In fact, he says there's "no chance in hell."
The Sun reported UFO experts are analyzing the photo to determine whether or not it's real. But I say, why not? Until someone can prove to me this is not an alien, it's a damn alien.
I mean, if Olivia Dunne can believe she's too fat, you can believe an extra-terrestrial is casually taking a nature walk in Bolivia.
Things That Made Me LOL
This video — posted over the holiday weekend — one might be my favorite TikTok in a while. My fellow '90s country fans will appreciate it, too.
And this last one didn't make me LOL. But it did make me smile.
It's a video of a parade in Key West over the weekend honoring Jimmy Buffett. In Jimmy's honor, may you all finish this week with the same energy and love for life that Jimmy had.
Drink a margarita, kick off your shoes and don't take anything too seriously. After all, that's always our philosophy here at Nightcaps.
If we didn't laugh, we would all go insane.
OutKick Nightcaps is a daily column set to run Monday through Friday at 4 p.m.
Follow me on X (or Twitter, if you’re still calling it that) at @TheAmberHarding or email me at Amber.Harding@OutKick.com.