Nick Saban's Daughter Hits The Lake, Country Star Wraps Herself In An American Towel & Jim Harbaugh's Outfit
Things I have: a headache, a hangover, and my fingers.
Things I don't have: regret, shame, a mug shot or an ER bill.
And you know what? I'll take that after a full day of celebrating America's birthday.
Another Fourth of July in the books, and another successful year of not making an ass out of myself. There was a small point last night where I thought we were going to set a giant tree on fire because the fireworks tipped over and started spraying it for a solid 90 seconds, but it held strong and so did we.
Got a little dicey, but all in all, we made it through.
And now … here we are. On the other side of our 248th birthday and ready to attack the rest of the week with enough piss and vinegar to fend off any attack by the Brits. Now, the rest of the week is pretty much just the last hour or so of today, because it's Friday. Most of you skipped work altogether today. I didn't, because I'm a grinder, but I get it for those who did.
Regardless, we're gonna grind through this final hour together and then get back on that horse like George Washington did back in his prime. Let's roll.
Welcome to a Friday Nightcaps – where we hit the lake with Nick Saban's daughter, Kristen, and then dry off with country singer Sara Evans. You'll see.
What else? I've got a crowd of folks at BYU's football stadium getting peppered with rogue fireworks, Jim Harbaugh in slacks for the Fourth of July, and Joseph Chestnut dropping his nuts on the hot dog eating world like the true American he is.
Our guy was out to prove a point yesterday and, by God, he proved it.
Grab an Advil, wash it back with some water (we're responsible around here), wait a bit, and then start hammering Yuenglings as we power through this final class of the week:
Screencaps took most of the Instagram models for the Fourth, but we still have Kristen Saban
Today is a tough class, because on one hand, I want to really grind for everyone that showed up and put in an ounce of effort.
On the other hand, I could also just cherry-pick which Instagram stars Joe didn't include in his Fourth of July roundup this morning and call it a day.
I'm not a sellout, so I won't completely mail it in today. But, I'm also not naive and know myself, so I won't go full steam ahead. I am part Swiss, so I'll play both sides of the fence here.
First up? The IG girls Joe missed who dominated the Fourth of July!
We'll start with Nightcaps OG Kristen Saban, who spent some well-deserved downtime by the lake:
Sara Evans still has her fastball at 53
Glad to see Kristen back up and at 'em after that weirdo country singer attacked her earlier this year. If you come after the Sabans, you best not miss. He missed. Kristen won. By extension, so did we.
Welcome back, Kristen! Can't wait to see Nick here in about six weeks in Dublin for Week 0. We're almost there, folks.
Now, speaking of country singers … Sara Evans is most definitely not a weirdo. She's the best. Suds in the Bucket? All time banger. That song came on my FM dial back in 1999 about 50 times a day. The best.
Anyway, she may be 53 now, but she's clearly our modern day Nolan Ryan. What a heater on the Fourth:
Best of the rest from the Fourth
Again, it's such a banger. Any country music fan worth his or her salt gives that song the respect it deserves, even all these years later.
I also had no idea Sara's Instagram content was as electric as it appears after one quick scroll. Good for her. Welcome to class!
OK, let's quickly get to the funny things I saw yesterday before they're old new starting tomorrow. Strap in:
Nightcaps is officially backing professional softball, Joey C dominates & fireworks in the crowd
Those last three tweets are exactly why I still have a Twitter account. That's why I come to the internet in the morning and stay logged on all damn day. Perfection.
OK, rapid-fire time because is anyone really even still here? If you are, you are welcome! First up? Great news: Nightcaps is officially all in on professional softball.
From Brandon, in response to my blog yesterday about ex-Mississippi State softballer Brylie St. Clair throwing heaters for the Texas Monarchs:
Thank you for the article on Brylie St. Clair. Women’s Professional Fastpitch is new to everyone and needs all the help it can get from a promotion standpoint and you have done more with this article than we could ever hope.
I have been volunteering along with many others to help establish a team in Corpus Christi. We have the "Coastal Bend Tidal Wave". The Monarch’s will visit us starting today for a modified schedule due to the threat of a hurricane.
Frankly, attendance has been sparse so far and the biggest reason is that nobody knows professional women’s softball is a thing. - Not until your article.
Thank you again.
No, thank YOU, Brandon! I had no idea professional softball was actually a thing until Nightcaps OG Brylie St. Clair checked in after a long hiatus yesterday with her rookie pictures from Texas Monarch media day. Talk about a twist.
Anyway, she followed that up with a bikini tribute to Toby Keith, which only furthers our position here at Nightcaps that we're all in on professional softball. We'll take it from here, Brandon. Let's get this league some recognition!
Next? I lost money on the stupid hot dog contest yesterday, which serves me right for even watching it after Joey Chestnut was shunned. That's on me. Luckily, Joey still stole the show yesterday afternoon:
I mean, my goodness. Talk about sending a message to the wokes over at Nathan's. Joey crushed the same amount of hot dogs in half the time as this Bertoletti guy. What a sham that contest is now. I'll never watch again.
Finally …
I mean, goodness gracious me. Could you imagine? It's why fireworks scare the bejesus out of me.
Like I said, things got a tad hairy at our party last night because we decided to use decades-old fireworks I found in my garage that were LEFT OVER from the previous owners, and they started spraying bullets every which direction.
But, we're Americans, and if you're not risking it all on our 248th birthday, what's even the point?
OK, that's all for today. Go have a big weekend. Golf, go to the beach, drink, soak it all in. Football season is right around the corner, so start getting the chores done NOW so you have some leverage in about a month.
See you Monday.
OutKick Nightcaps is a daily column set to run Monday through Friday at 4 p.m. (roughly, we’re not robots).
You all in on professional softball? Email me at Zach.Dean@OutKick.com.