NFL Reporter Aileen Hnatiuk Has A Christmas PJ Party, Black Vs. White Madden Simulation & The 2023 Cost Of The Home Alone House

Ho, ho, ho -- let's get this Friday show on the road because I've got places to go.

By that, I mean I've pretty much got this column -- plus Monday's 'Caps, which I'm writing today -- standing in between me and a week off. Don't think I've had one of those since Memorial Day, so you know it's gonna be a rapid-fire class today.

On that note ... Welcome to a Friday Nightcaps -- the one where I copy and paste a bunch of stuff, snuggle up with sports reporter Aileen Hnatiuk, and hope to get out of here in five minutes MAX.

That doesn't mean we're gonna mail it in, though. Nope. We are gonna check the mail. Can't have an overflowing mailbox heading into the holiday weekend.

So, let's get to it.

We're gonna have a pillow fight with Bucs reporter Aileen Hnatiuk to kickoff the most festive weekend of the year.

We're gonna check in with Danica Patrick and Blu of Earth -- the two ex-girlfriends/witches of Aaron Rodgers. For the second class in a row, we're also going to dive into Home Alone, because I think I finally have an answer to the same question we've all had for years ...

... what damn tax bracket are the McCallisters in?!

Tomorrow is also Festivus, so we're gonna air some grievances on the way out. I've been up since 6:45 this morning and I didn't exactly take it easy last night, so I've got plenty of pent up anger to get out before we head home for the holidays.

OK, enough stalling. You've all skipped over this to get to Aileen Hnatiuk anyways, so what's the point?

Let's get it.

NFL and Bucs reporter Aileen Hnatiuk celebrates Christmas in her PJs

It's a Friday, and you know that means we don't mess around. So, we're diving right into sports reporter Aileen Hnatiuk today.

Our girl -- a legend in the industry after going viral right around this time last year -- is wrapping up her first full year in Florida in style.

By that, I mean throwing on some red p-jams and hanging with the girls.

Worst ways to spend a Friday night, I reckon:

Danica Patrick, Blu of Earth and Aaron Rodgers

Big first season in Tampa for Aileen Hnatiuk, and the Bucs may not be done just yet. Don't look now, but Baker, Baker the TD (and baby) Maker has Tampa in prime position to host a playoff game next month.

What a time to be alive.

OK, pedal to the metal as we race towards the finish line.

I wrote about this little development earlier today, but had to bring it to the Nightcaps class also. Blu of Earth, the crazy witch ex-girlfriend of Aaron Rodgers, is now best friends with Danica Patrick.

What a love triangle!

For those who don’t remember the summer of 2022, Aaron and Blu of Earth made waves when they jetted off to South America for a four-day darkness retreat complete with enough Ayahuasca to kill a horse.

The two started dating earlier that summer, and the internet was rocked to the core when rumors swirled that Blu was also a witch and a self-described “medicine woman.”

And in case you don't remember just how weird this cat was/is, here's a little poem she penned for Aaron back in April 2022:

The winds of change are upon us – do you feel it? On an individual level and a collective level.
During times of great change – surrender, stillness and softening is our greatest ally.

…

See you on the other side family.

Thank you for being on this journey of life with me.

I love you.

Blu.

We may finally know how rich the McCallister family was in Home Alone

Can't wait to see how those three enjoy the offseason together. It's almost #CaveSZN for Aaron, which we all look forward to around here more than football season itself.

Buckle up.

Now, I know we all checked out the fake Home Alone 3 trailer yesterday, but I'm going BACK to the Home Alone well today to answer (I think) an age-old question ...

How rich is this freaking family?

From the woke NY Times:

“That’s the one, Marv, that’s the silver tuna,” Harry says, before speculating that the house contains a lot of “top-flight goods,” including VCRs, stereos, very fine jewelry and “odd marketable securities.”

The home is the best clue as to how much money the McCallisters have.

The silver tuna, or its exterior anyway, is a real-world house at 671 Lincoln Avenue in the Chicago suburb of Winnetka, one of the most expensive neighborhoods in the United States, according to Realtor.com. 

In 1990, the house was affordable only for the top 1 percent of Chicago household incomes, and that would still be the case today, according to economists at the Federal Reserve Bank of Chicago.

Working with the assumption that the McCallisters did not spend more than 30 percent of their income on housing, the economists also determined the home would have been affordable to a household with an income of $305,000 in 1990 (about $665,000 in 2022).

In the middle of 2022, a similar house would cost about $2.4 million, based on the Zillow estimate for the “Home Alone” house. A home of that value would be affordable to a household with income of $730,000, which would be in the top 1 percent of Chicago-area households, the economists said.

Black vs. White madden simulation goes pretty much how you'd expect

Honestly, I think $2.4 million is a little low if we're being honest. I also live in Florida, though, where the real estate market is still scorching despite what the analysts over on MSNBC tell you. I'd imagine it's different in crime-riddled Chicago, suburbs or not.

Now, let's finally get to the big game we've been waiting for all week ...

No! Not Cowboys-Dolphins (gulp). I'm talking about the all-white vs. all-black pro bowl!

White team keeps it close until midway through the third quarter and then the wheels come off. Monster game from Cooper Kupp and Christian McCaffrey, though, which you sort of expected.

If this squad is ever gonna make some noise down the road, you're gonna need those two to step up.

Anyway, the internet crushed this one:

Mail time!

The OJ Howard one I sort of get because the TE market is somewhat thin for that side. But Brandon Bolden? That is such a wild choice. Must be a great locker room guy.

OK, mail time on the way out!

Benny T (who also sent this to Screencaps but you know what? It's crunch time right now so we're doubling up) writes:

If you find yourself in Chickasha, OK, here is a landmark you will enjoy:

Great power rankings this week, but you have Green Bay ranked way to high. As a lifelong dedicated Packer fan, they have to be bottom of the list as long as Joe Barry is running that defense. Of course, QBs who are trying to salvage a career love Joe Barry... he makes them look like the second coming of Dan Marino.

Good luck to your Dolphins this weekend

FIRE JOE BARRY! GO PACK GO!

Merry Christmas,

Benny

Thanks, Benny! I had the Packers at 23 in yesterday's power rankings, but perhaps I was misguided. Thought they were actually doing better the past few weeks until crapping the bed over the last eight quarters.

Oh well.

I also watched Christmas Story last night. I think I've decided this scene makes me laugh more than any others. I know I had a different one in yesterday's rankings, but I may be rethinking some things.

From Harvey:

Thanks for a little Anne Agar!! Good luck with the breezer you be getting this weekend! Batten the hatches and make sure you got plenty of Rum!

Excellent content as always and keep it up!!

From Papa Caps neck of the woods,

Harvey D.

Thanks, Harvey from somewhere in Ohio.

Annie Agar is always welcome to class. Speaking of ...

Happy Festivus to all who celebrate

Like I said -- always welcome.

Finally, on our way out, tomorrow is Festivus. Great holiday, especially for someone like me who gets easily annoyed by idiots in 2023. No shortage of content.

I also grew up idolizing Jerry Stiller. Weird, but true. Once had a great conversation with him and my grandpa on a Nantucket beach back in the day when I was in middle school. Blew my mind.

I was too scared to approach him so my grandpa, wearing his Vietnam hat, walked right up to him and they talked for a solid 20 minutes.

One of the coolest things I've ever seen. Just two old dudes shooting the shit. Miss them both.

My Festivus nominations just off the top of my head for 2023 include:

I'm sure there are plenty more, but, like I said, I have a big day of working ahead so I can take the next week off. So, we'll cap it there.

That's enough for today. Class dismissed!

For those who plan on attending Monday's class, God bless you. For those who plan to use their skip, I don't blame you.

Merry Christmas, from everyone here at Nightcaps. And Paige!

OutKick Nightcaps is a daily column set to run Monday through Friday at 4 p.m. (roughly, we’re not robots).

Would you get in a pillow fight with sports reporter Aileen Hnatiuk? Email me at Zach.Dean@OutKick.com.