NFL Network Polos Let You Know Football Has Arrived, For Better Or Worse
As NFL Network can attest, football season is all but back. How do we know? Well, it’s not because of some corny things like the smell of fresh cut grass, the sound of helmets colliding or the calendar turning to August.
Nope, we know it’s football time because any channel scroll that parks on NFL Network will see all of the network’s reporters wearing one of two, maybe three, training-camp specific polo shirts. It’s a yearly tradition.
And much like the yearly Thanksgiving tradition of my pants not fitting after the Lions inevitably lose again, neither do the polos of NFLN’s staffers.
Tom Pelissero, clearly, agrees.
The polos give the same vibe as the freebie t-shirts that are tossed to fans or draped over arena seats before an important game. By that I mean, they’re huge! Every last one of ‘em. You know the type - they say something cheesy like "TOGETHER," Our House" or even, "Brick By Brick." Oh, and you damn well better believe they're made of 100% cotton.
Over at NFLN, it’s as if the sizing department starts with XL’s and goes from there.
Ian Rapoport strikes me as shmedium guy, and good for him. But NFL Network’s doing him no favors. Rapoport and the network’s other reporters stationed at training camps across the country don’t need to retreat to the hotel pools to cool off. It’s not necessary because they’re already swimming in their polos. All day, every day.
Can we throw our guy Ian a bone?
And what did Scott Hanson ever do to NFL Network to be saddled with such a poor fit? All the guy does is guide us through 12 straight hours of RedZone coverage without taking a leak. How do we reward him for his service? With a XXL, apparently.
Make It Make Sense NFLN, Or At Least Make The Polos Fit
Somehow, year after year, these polos are tucked away until NFLN starts their Inside Training Camp tour – which is tremendous, by the way – and then they do it big. Literally. From Day One of camp tours, reporters essentially cover themselves in NFLN-branded parachutes for all the world to see.
Then, just like that, these polos disappear once the season kicks. September comes calling and NFLN shifts from the back of the mullet (party) to the front (business). Polos are cut quicker than out-of-shape undrafted free agents.
Normally I'd bicker at the snooty stance of the league to button things up when the regular season commences. Do we need to wear suits to talk about football? Absolutely not. But, in this instance, the sooner the polos head back to the closet, the better.
And don’t get it twisted (or is it wrinkled?). There's more than one issue with these polo shirts - I’m not just talking length on these suckers. Everything about these garments is way big. Oversized collar: check. Baggy midsection: check. Gaudy logo: check. Generous sleeve length: you already know.
Steve Smith now of NFL Network will likely one day be a Hall of Famer, but he can't get a polo that fits. (Photo by Grant Halverson/Getty Images)
Steve Smith had over 1,000 career receptions and will probably one day head to Canton. But NFL Network has the now analyst in threads ready made for an offensive lineman. As for the hat...well, that's on Steve.
We can't fix everything.
This preseason, I’m not concerned with San Francisco’s quarterback competition or the prospect of whether Jimmy Graham can return to form in New Orleans. Nope. The question I want answered is why the NFL Network polos have to be so damn big!
The league already dedicates helmet and end zone space to causes on a seemingly weekly basis: breast cancer, the military, ending racism, etc. Those causes certainly deserve our attention and are easy to get behind. But how about Ending Big Polos? Might be something to toss around come December or even January.
Unlike these polos, the idea just might fit.
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