Newly Discovered Bug Is Such Nightmare Fuel It's Been Named After Darth Vader

In my house (read: apartment), I'm the designated bug killer. If there's a cockroach or a spider that needs to be splattered with a flip-flop or knocked off the ceiling with a dog toy and into the trash, I'm your guy.

However, if I came across this insect that was recently discovered prowling around my place, I would not only move to a new state, but I would change my name, dye my hair, and assume a new identity just to make sure it couldn't find me.

Scientists in Southeast Asia have discovered a new kind of supergiant bug — which should tell you already that things are about to get horrific — and published their findings in the journal, ZooKeys.

They're calling it Bathynomus vaderi and it lives in the ocean — thank God, let's hope it stays there — and they discovered it in the most convenient way possible: by buying some samples that had been caught by local fishermen.

I can't imagine what fishermen were thinking when they saw these monstrosities because these things are pure, unleaded nightmare fuel.

Really? Do we really need this thing roaming around doing whatever it is that it does, which from looking at it, I can only assume is causing chaos and mayhem the world over?

I mean, if a foot-long bug the size of a large guinea pig wasn't intimidating enough, the folks who realized it was a new species and therefore needed a name, decided to name it after one of the greatest villains in movie history.

Notice the second part of its name? "Vaderi?" That's a nod to Darth Vader because scientists thought this thing's head looked vaguely similar to Darth Vader's helmet.

So, it's so scary they named it after a guy who blew up planets for funsies.

Man, I am not a fan. I'm going to stay in my corner of the globe, and I'm just going to hope that these bad boys stay in theirs.