Nearly Naked Megan Fox Climbs A Tree, Arizona U. Cart Girl Is A Star, Stephen A. Smith Under Attack & A Bad Day For Aviation

Who's ready to get naked and climb up a tree to start the second-to-last week of July? Anyone? No? Just me and Megan Fox?

Fine!

Welcome to ... the second-to-last week of July! SEC Media Days are here, which means fall practice is right around the corner, which means we're almost there. Thank God.

You wanna know how boring it is right now in the sports world? I was home alone all weekend and literally spent Saturday afternoon cleaning out drawers in the kitchen. True story.

I did, however, go to the driving range for the first time in 6 weeks yesterday to test out this new back and buddy -- I was hitting some TANKS.

We are back, baby!

We're gonna climb a tree with Megan Fox in just a bit, and we'll also break down the horny fella on the ground who didn't blink the entire time.

What else? Ummmm ... wanna check in with a new cart girl out in Arizona who's now giving Cass Holland a run for her money? Well, we are whether you want to or not, so buckle up.

I think we'll also watch Stephen A. Smith weirdly get defensive for no reason and declare "I'm coming" even though nobody truly asked/cares, and maybe talk some unfortunate aviation.

Sound good? Good.

Grab a Twisted Tea -- which are criminally underrated -- and settle in for a Monday Nightcaps.

Stephen A. Smith is such a weirdo

I'll be honest with you -- SAS has my mind in a constant pretzel. I truly can't get a read on him.

One minute he has Clay on his podcast and appears on like three Fox News shows in a week, and the next he's calling out Ron DeSantis for banning DEI programs (thank you, Mr. Governor!) even though he admitted he wasn't an "aficionado on this subject."

Gee, ya don't say!

Anyway, my point is Stephen A. Smith flip flops more than any current politician I know and he also has a knack for getting super defensive over ... nothing?

Lol, what? Who? Who started said sh*t? Do people really care what Stephen A. Smith and the rest of the First Take clan is doing/if they'll survive the next round of ESPN cuts?

I just don't think anyone cares. But, evidently they do and Stephen A. Smith is ready to fight back while weirdly adjusting the tone of his voice every third word.

Can't wait.

PS: bring back Cold Pizza you cowards.

Speaking of weirdos, let's check in with Megan Fox

Doesn't get much stranger than Megan Fox, folks. Obviously she's an absolute dime, so she gets away with it, but my God is she weird.

I think the whole 'drinking blood' thing ultimately did it for me, but whatever. She was still a smoke on New Girl and I still maintain to this day that she should've ended up with Nick Miller. I stand by that.

Anyway, here she is climbing a tree in a skimpy bathing suit while some horny dude watches from below.

And, oh yeah -- Machine Gun Kelly also chimed in with an equally horny comment. Good to see those two are back on good terms!

We have a new Cart Girl on the scene

So much going on up there.

The guy underneath the tree was the absolute talk of the town in the comment section, but can you blame him? What a damn job that must be -- spotting for barely-clothed Megan Fox while she poses from a tree branch? Frankly, if it pays even 1-cent it's worth it.

Secondly, how about MGK hopping into the comments for an absolutely wild remark about being mauled by a wild animal? Thought those two were donezo? Think again. Sexual tension through the roof.

Finally, can we quickly talk about some of the girls Nick Miller scored with on New Girl? it's an absurd list.

Megan Fox, Zooey Deschanel AND Olivia Munn? Goodness gracious, what a resume. New Girl, by the way, was one of the last truly funny shows of this era. There's been mostly garbage on ever since. It's on Hulu right now. You're welcome.

Moving on ...

Here's Arizona's Kambriella Smith, who has recently entered the Cart Girl game. Around here, that section is reserved for Cass Holland, but it appears Kambriella is coming.

Buckle up, Cass. A little competition never hurt anyone.

Bad day for flying and sailing

What a shirt. I think this girl's got it, but we'll see I guess. Welcome to Nightcaps, Kam!

Let's rapid-fire this bad boy so we can all get back to our Mondays.

I'll quickly take you behind the scenes before we move on ...

So, I usually like to look at three things when I'm searching for content to fill out Nightcaps: who's birthday is today, what national day is it and are there any good anniversaries to mention?

The first two were pretty blah for today -- happy National Peach Ice Cream Day! -- but the last one was a little unsettling.

Turns out, we had not one, but two major aviation disasters on this day 18 years apart. Not only that, we also had a major shipwreck on this day back in 1918!

True story. Let's break it down.

On this day in 1996, TWA Flight 800 crashed into the Atlantic. Some thought it was a major malfunction with the fuel and air in the tank. Some, though, speculated it was shot down by a missile.

On a (maybe?) totally unrelated note, Malaysian flight 17 was shot down in 2014 by a Russian missile while passing through Ukrainian airspace.

Finally, on this date in 1918, the Carpathia -- the ship most famous for saving the remaining Titanic passengers the next morning -- was sunk by a German U-boat in WW1.

Whoooooof.

Moral of the story? Maybe just stay at home today if at all possible.

And a bad day for Miranda Lambert and for ESPN

Speaking of staying home, maybe these Miranda Lambert fans should've done just that over the weekend ...

Hey, Miranda -- get the hell off your high horse. Who the hell are you to tell me what I can and can't do at a concert I paid for?

I despise celebrities and I really despise entitled ones. If I paid a sh*tload of money for a concert, I'm gonna do whatever I want for all three hours.

If I wanna take a selfie, I'm taking a damn selfie. If I want to lie my ass down on the lawn and take a nap while Miranda Lambert puts us all to sleep with "Tin Man," I'll do that too.

Get over yourself, Miranda.

Now, here's Buster Olney angering people by asking Angel manager Phil Nevin about Shohei Ohtani trade rumors mid-game:

Take us home, Megan Fox

Some people were PISSED at Buster for asking that question to a manager during the game, but whatever. Shohei Ohtani is the biggest superstar in baseball right now and his status in L.A. ahead of the trade deadline is by far the biggest question in sports.

So, yeah, I think Buster's gonna ask the only damn question anyone cares about. Phil Nevin's a big boy, he can handle it.

Anyone upset over that question probably also listens to Miranda Lambert.

Boy, why did I get so angry to end today's class? Weird.

Here's more Megan Fox pictures to cool us all off.

Let's have a week.

OutKick Nightcaps is a daily column set to run Monday through Friday at 4 p.m. (roughly, we’re not robots).

Is Megan Fox on the Mount Rushmore of Foxes? Email me at Zach.Dean@OutKick.com.