NASCAR Star Soils Himself, Another Wrecks His Son, Bubba Wallace Disappoints MJ & Hooters Gianna Goes Swimming
Ahem … this thing on?
Hey! Look at us, back together again. Back in the saddle. Ready to rock and roll, baby! You're here, I'm here. It's a holiday Monday, but we're all here and locked the hell in on some NASCAR automobile racing from Darlington.
I feel like a refreshed (not really at all) Cal Ripken getting BACK in the lineup after missing my first game in … years. Years!
Seriously, I don't remember the last time I didn't do a NASCAR column on a Monday morning. The China virus was still very much a thing, if that helps anyone.
That obviously changed last week, mainly because I was in the hospital with the First Lady. We just had our son the day before, and things got a bit hairy. Naturally, they made us stay an extra day. Probably for the extra insurance money. I don't know. Is that how it works? No clue, don't care.
So, I missed Daytona. Sad. First Daytona race I've missed in nearly a decade, and first MMPS I've missed in years. It is what it is. We move on. We get our asses back in the lineup and start slamming some dingers like the iron men we are.
Let's SLAM.
We've got Chase Briscoe coming out of nowhere to win a NASCAR race in 2024 and, in turn, eliminating dramatic Bubba Wallace. And buddy, he was DRAMATIC last night. An all-timer!
I've also got Kyle Busch ready to crack some skulls, Tiny Tyler Reddick shitting his firesuit, a quick check of the mail, and a question about new NBC play-by-play fella Leigh Diffey.
He any good? I missed his debut last week, and thought last night was a bit bumpy. Could be wrong, though. I'm not. But, I could be.
Oh yeah! Hooters Gianna stops by, because our girl has been on an absolute HEATER over on Zuckerberg's woke Instagram lately. What a run.
Four tires, some Sunoco racing fuel, and a diaper for Tiny Ty … Monday Morning Pit-Stop – the ‘I Haven’t Slept In 10 Days But I've Still Got Plenty Of Gas In The Tank' edition – is LIVE!
I'll admit it … I wanted Kyle Busch to win
Feel like we all sort of did, right? If you're a weekly water-cooler guest around these parts, I'm sure you did. We LOVE drama around here. Thrive on it. Need it like we need our next breath.
Chase Briscoe winning ain't giving me the drama I need. I wanted Rowdy in the playoffs, after an absolutely miserable season, out for blood.
Instead, we get Chase Briscoe. That's fine and all, but it also gives us a playoff bracket that basically allows us all to sleep through the first round …
I mean, my God. It's actually a good thing we can go ahead and skip these next few weeks, because football season is here, and I've got insane parlays to cook up on Saturdays and Sundays.
I like NASCAR's playoff format, by the way. Last night was awesome, especially the final 100 laps. It's exactly what NASCAR envisioned when they created this format.
But, it also leaves you susceptible to stuff like this …
Could one of those four somehow eek their way into the Round of 12? It's possible. We go to Atlanta and then Watkins Glenn. Those places are true wild cards at this point.
But let's also be honest here for a second … those four ain't better than the bottom four. Not even close.
Time to start wrecking some folks, Rowdy!
Dramatic Bubba Wallace is back, baby!
Not having Kyle Busch in the playoffs just seems dirty. And not the good, Sam Busch-kind of dirty. Just dirty. I don't like it. Don't like it one bit.
As you all know – mainly because NBC wouldn't shut up about it last night – Bubba Wallace also missed the playoffs. Frankly, it's impressive, because teammate Tyler Reddick not only made it, but he won the regular season championship while shitting his pants.
And you're telling me Bubba couldn't finish top-16 this season? Odd. Sure MJ was thrilled!
Serious question – and I promise, I'm not being a Bubba hater (I actually like him!): does Michael Jordan get tired of doing this every single year with him? He has to, right?
I mean, you've got MICHAEL JORDAN showing up to Darlington on Sept. 1 and having to root on his driver just to make a playoff tournament where literally a third of the field makes it.
And it's not like Bubba's in some sort of Cinderella story car. He drives a Toyota for Michael Jordan and Denny Hamlin! How does he not easily make the playoffs every single season?
It's wild. I'm sure the Twitter mob will come after me for this because they love to cry racism, but it's a legit question. How does Bubba Wallace keep missing the playoffs, in a car like THIS, every year? I don't get it.
Bubba, thoughts?
Reader mail and Leigh Diffey
I'm not trying to get too deep on this Labor Day Monday, but I HAD to include that last tweet in there. It went mega-viral yesterday afternoon, and when the internet is talking, this column has an obligation to cover it.
It's why we win awards, you know. You think the woke AP wants to tackle that question? Well, actually, they'd LOVE to tackle it, because it's about white NASCAR fans being racist. They'd LOVE to do a deep dive on that one. Scratch that.
My opinion? No, a normal, sane NASCAR fan doesn't hate Bubba because he's black. They're annoyed about the noose stuff from years ago – that was more on NASCAR than Bubba, by the way – and they're equally annoyed at the drama.
If the wins backed it all up, I don't think they'd care. But the wins obviously don't back it up, and that annoys folks. I get it.
Bubba's a content machine, so I want him in the playoffs. I understand why many folks are happy today, though.
OK, mail time!!!
From Ricky, in Memphis:
I've been watching NASCAR for 50 years, and Saturday night's race at Daytona was one of the BEST I've ever seen. It had side to side racing, big wrecks, heartbreak (for those trying to make the playoffs), and overflowing emotions at the end. AWESOME!!!
Followed by Mark, in Mount Dora:
Saturday's finish at Daytona was a perfect example of what is ailing Nascar. When you can take the same situation and swap drivers to get much different results.
For example, if Kyle Busch were leading and Harrison Burton was in second and everything else was the same, NASCAR would have awarded Burton the win and penalized Kyle Busch for going below the yellow line while attempting to block. Now, let's say it was the 3 car being pursued by the 24 or the 48, NASCAR would have pulled the win from the 3 and given it to either of the Hendrick cars if everything else was the same.
Imagine if it would have been Bubba Wallace in second. NASCAR would have given him the win, no matter what driver attempted to block and went below the yellow line.
All this victory did on Saturday was ensure that we will have a Burton in the broadcast booth, mumbling for decades to come.
And, finally, from Anonymous, in None of your businessville:
Why? Why does NBC need to shove a BRITISH announcer down our throats????? It feels forced and fake. Gag. It’s also totally juxtaposed to JJ’s nonverbal communication. What a bad mix for Daytona.
Btw, LOOOOVE your articles.
Tyler Reddick gets dirty, Kyle Busch wrecks his boy & Hooters Gianna is ready to settle down
So, couple of things …
1. The Daytona finish was excellent. Admittedly, I didn't watch it live because I was in a delivery room, but I enjoyed the replay. I didn't think NASCAR did anything nefarious with the yellow line stuff like Mount Dora Mark says, but I see his point, too.
There used to be a saying in Daytona about Dale Jr. and the "Dale plate" used on his car during qualifying. I've never actually seen it, but I assume it's out there, somewhere.
2. Where does everyone stand on new NBC play-by-play man, Leigh Diffey? He officially replaced Rick Allen in the booth last week, but my first intro to him was last night at Darlington … or, as he called it at the beginning of the race, "Martinsville."
I think Leigh is decent, and he's obviously gonna get better. The Daytona call was a good one, I'll give him that. He's a little excitable right now – I mean, the Xfinity callback to a random 2020 race last night in the waning laps was silly – but I'm gonna give him some time to settle in.
Lord knows he's better than Rick Allen. He'll also never be Mike Joy. There's a middle ground somewhere in there.
What do y'all think? Zach.Dean@OutKick.com.
Ok, let's get to a couple quick-hitters on the way out. First up? Tiny Tyler Reddick (you'll see) nearly shit himself last night!
The pictures of MJ and Tyler Reddick together will never not be funny. Gets me every time.
Also, I couldn't imagine having to drive the longest race of the year while having to poop the entire time. Frankly, that's what I told my wife last week when she was in labor for 26 hours. If labor pain is ANYTHING like need to shit pain, I'd be OUT so fast your head would spin.
There is nothing worse in the world. Nothing.
Next? Let's check in, again, with the Busch family!
Hilarious. Kyle Busch steering his boy into traffic is exactly the sort of parenting I hope to exhibit with my new boy. Life is full of failure, son. Take it like a man and move the hell on.
Welcome to Kamala's America!
Finally, on the way out, let's check in with Hooters Gianna as the big wedding day to Ryan Blaney gets closer and closer.
Can't wait!
See y'all in Atlanta.