Monica Lewinsky Dumps Out New Content, The Phillies Hooters Spring Training Girls Are Back & Largest Tongue
Big news: I'm booked for Augusta
The trip to the Masters to see a practice round IS OFFICIALLY ON. I'm not going to reveal how I came about securing tickets to the Tuesday round, but I will be there with Canoe Kirk from my text group.
Yes, I asked my father for about a month on how his schedule was lining up, but that's the time of year when he's closing down his Marco Island/Naples operation and the boat needs to be taken from the Marco boat house to the inland storage facility where it's much cheaper over the summer.
Dad is out, Canoe Kirk is in.
Now, that means the trip will be a little different from how I planned to travel with my father, who is in his late 60s. Kirk is a big fan of trying to incorporate unique aspects to traveling, which means he immediately asked me if I was up for booking a Tesla to drive across Georgia from Atlanta.
As a content guy, he knows I'm going to say ‘yes.’
$300 total? Book it.
I'm not ready to reveal all the trip details, but I can fill in a few blanks:
• We'll be in Augusta Monday and Tuesday nights
• We're golfing Monday afternoon (April 8) somewhere around Augusta and there's a chance we're going to need a 4th. Who wants to golf with a couple of guys who play full integrity, play it off an alligator's back if that's where it lands golf? Or we can load up some tee times back-to-back if another group wants to join up. Let's have some fun. I know there will be a bunch of you lurking in Augusta with nothing to do.
• Augusta National on Tuesday; hopefully connecting with The Anonymous Masters Volunteer Employee who gave all of us so many insights to his experience in 2023
• I won't reveal our housing, but I will say it will be…unique… and we'll be five miles from the course. The price will blow you guys away
• I WILL NOT reveal our ticket source. Don't ask! I will go to the grave before I'll give up The Source!
Email: joekinsey@gmail.com
Let's hear from guys who've caught their wives cheating on them like how Gisele (*ALLEGEDLY*) cheated on Tom Brady with her jiu-jitsu instructor
It was nice to hear from readers who caught my Gisele-Tom piece via its front-page placement on FoxNews.com.
• Anonymous writes:
I was 35. Wife 34. 2 kids both boys. wife was a former junior tennis player. she had success --she knew Jimmy Conners etc. She wanted kids to start playing tennis young. tennis teacher was 20.
She started boynking him I had no clue initially until a neighbor informed me of the tennis teacher's truck out in front of my house while I was at church camp with our sons.i was practicing dentistry and this destroyed my life.
Split 50/50. I paid 10 grand a month for 3 years. then 7 grand a month 2 years. then 3800 until boys turned 18.
I would jog by the house that she received in divorce while he was in the house with my kids boynking my ex-wife, I had to get along with this scum for my children's sake.i met the bitch in college. You don't know a woman until their late 20's.
• Captain Jay writes:
I feel bad that Tom and Gesele are having marital problems. At best everyone loses something. Nonetheless, I thoroughly enjoyed your article. There is nothing PC about you. You call the horse the horse and make it clear that you are talking about the horse. Refreshing. Keep it up.
• Jack writes:
Your Gisele opinion story: The stuff of legends
Kinsey:
I was just writing from the heart, Jack. No, I've never been divorced, but I know enough guys from the trades who've been down the path that I outlined. I know the steelworkers who always have two grand stuffed into their pocket after being paid who also dump thousands into an ex-old lady's checking account because a judge says so.
That's not writing you're going to see out of these dorks at the Washington Post and New York Times, Jack.
It is my job, as a salaried employee of Fox News Corp. to write like I'm face-to-face with 85% of America. If I'm not talking like we're sitting in a garage having Busch Lights, then I'm failing at my job.
Have you caught your wife scissoring with a judo instructor? Did catch her cheating on you with the youth football coach she met at the gym? I want to hear your stories and how bad the judge hammered you after the youth football coach blew out your wife's back.
You WILL REMAIN ANONYMOUS. My track record speaks for itself:
Email: joekinsey@gmail.com
The Two-Club Invitational response has been overwhelming, and I might have to start thinking about Alyssa Milano'ing the invitational down the road
Welp, I went from throwing a golf invitational to possibly throwing a Screencaps festival. Approximately 10 minutes after Wednesday Screencaps published, there were readers already jockeying for position to fill invites.
I have readers trying to position pre-planned trips around the Invitational. I have CJ & Jack in Dayton, the tallest two-man team in two-club history – which is saying something because years ago we had a 6'7 NFL offensive lineman play on a team with an NFL defensive tackle – sending me Instagram DMs saying how they wouldn't miss the event after experiencing last year's Put-in-Bay trip.
I was worried CJ & Jack didn't have fun last year. Turns out they had a blast and they're IN on 2024.
Again, drop me an email if you're interested. As of right now, the course owner is closing down that entire day for us to come in and take it over. Let's have some fun on August 3.
Email: joekinsey@gmail.com
Yes, you'll have a chance to meet Brandon C. in Pinckney who wrote the now infamous Russian Defense Contractor email that mesmerized so many Screencaps readers.
By the way, as it stands right now, August 3 will be the first time I will have met Beau in Toledo.
• BiT writes:
Hey Joe!!
DEFINITELY count me IN on the 2 Club!! Write me down for 2. If I don't hear back from Paige Spiranac (@_paige.renee) • Instagram photos and videos , my Brother, Angry Panda, will be more than happy to fill in.
Cherrywood is a nice course to run. I cut my teeth in the Drinking Game with a Golfing Problem many times at Cherrywood, and more often, just to the south, Maple Grove (Pops lived near the 4th green before the move to NC... we hid beer there, jumped the fence, and still purchased/tipped the CartHotties when they rolled by).
For the record, if you look at the map snip I sent, Cherrywood is only 3 miles from the Circle K where I get my @yuenglingbeer . Yes, I intentionally marked the road, at the 1.65-mile mark, as that is where I turn on to get to Toledo Suburban Airport to get JET FUEL!! for the FrankenMower and Fam of #TNML equipment.
Embrace white golf shoes
• Tirey in El Paso tells me to calm down and embrace my new white golf shoes:
Joe: White shoes are not a trend, but a classic that never goes out of style. Do not, and I mean DO NOT, wear a white belt, regardless of the color of your shoes!!! This is the worst millennial trend in golf. Brown shoes/brown belt- yes. Black shoes/black belt-yes. White shoes- any color belt that matches the rest of your outfit- EXCEPT WHITE!!!! Next thing you know, they are going to be telling you to wear freakin' trainers with the elastic ankles. Don't do it!
• Todd G. says:
Hi Joe. 2nd time emailer (1st was asking for my TNML sticker, thanks again). Just my 2 cents, but you seem like the kind of guy that doesn’t give a damn what others think about what you’re wearing. I say, as long as you’re meeting the dress code requirements of the golf course, that’s all that matters. Guys that worry about their shoes matching their belt have got their priorities out of whack.
Keep up the great work, and let me echo everyone else thanking you for building this community. FJB!
Big news out of Vegas for the Gen Zs who want to slum it like their parents did 25 years ago
Slota-A-Fun IS BACK!
$2 beers!
AI got me via the IG models
• James writes:
Love SC, and all that you do. Dianamollyhills is AI! Just sayin. Keep up the great work.
Kinsey:
Dammit, James, I was worried about that, but when I saw Dianamollyhills eating the elephant ear or whatever that was at a fair, I wanted to believe she was 100% legit.
James says this is a DEEP FAKE!
Dawgs fan Sam checks in from Bucharest
I don't ask what Sam does for a living and why he's in Romania. He could be a hit man or he could work in IT and be in charge of wiring some CIA hiding spot. I have no idea.
• Sam writes:
My hat with the second largest building in the world in background. (Parlament)
Pasta dish at hotel restaurant. Next pic is their meat storage.
Lamb with mashed potatoes with lamb broth at Zexe.
Finally a couple architecture pics. It seems three main periods. Pre-WWII. Commie (boring/drab) stylings. New modern glass exterior (capitalist).
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That's it this morning. If you want to email me with your How Many Beers: Monica Lewinsky thoughts, fire away.
Otherwise, the sun is out, I'm preparing for a quick Philadelphia trip and whatever else pops up today.
Go have an incredile Leap Day.
Email: joekinsey@gmail.com