Miss USA Conspiracy Theory Fuels Internet Sleuths

We had an absolute bomb dropped on us earlier this week when the newly-crowned Miss USA, Noelia Voigt, announced she was stepping down from her illustrious post after seven short months. 

That's right. Just like that, the Noelia Voigt era was over. Didn't even last as long as a pregnancy. I've got a gallon of milk stuffed in the back of my fridge that's older. That's actually a true story. 

It's gotten to the point now that the First Lady and I are just playing a silent game of cat and mouse to see who breaks first. 

No shot it's me, by the way. None. Bet the mortgage on her. I'll die before I toss it. 

Anyway, where was I? Oh yeah! Miss USA stepping down. 

Joe wrote about it earlier this week when the news broke, but we've had some pretty major developments since. 

One internet sleuth over on the soon-to-be-banned TikTok is currently going viral for hopping into her virtual Mystery Machine and piecing together a couple alarming clues from Noelia's resignation Instagram post:

Miss USA, Noelia Voigt, has the internet in shambles over mysterious wording 

For starters, let's address the elephant in the room …

Saying climbing the Miss USA Mountain is harder than making it to a Super Bowl is just the dumbest thing I've ever heard. I can't imagine saying that with a straight face. 

You think the rest of the AFC would rather try their hands at Miss USA, or go against Patrick Mahomes in Kansas City in January? Come on. Don't be silly. Nonsense. 

Other than that, this junior Inspector Gadget makes some pretty decent points. I'm with her on the whole "that's not coincidence" thing. It's not. No chance. No shot. 

To get the letters to perfectly line up to spell out "I am silenced" ain't easy. Doesn't happen by chance. The odds on that have to be astronomical. 

In today's age of social media, I'm betting that Noelia Voigt crafted this smoking gun knowing someone would find it. The internet is undefeated in this regard. 

It's 99% nonsense, but that 1% is useful as hell, and this TikToker pieced it all together in less than 48 hours. 

Now, we sit back and wait to see what's next. What's ex-Miss USA Noelia Voigt's next move? When does she post next? What does it say?

We've got a real life Da Vinci Code on our hands here, and I, for one, am all for it. 

PS: nothing weird about dominating the Kentucky Derby and then resigning three days later!

PPS: Megan Fox?