Miss Hooters November Grace Is Having A Big Month, College Basketball Bat Delay & The Basic $10k Toyota Electric Truck
What it's like to attend a defense contractor show in Russia -- Read this!
Brandon C. in Pinckney, MI has been sending emails for the last couple of years on a variety of topics, but the email he sent Tuesday after the discussion on defense contractor trade shows really caught my attention. He starts off explaining the intricacies of domestic trade shows before launching into what sounds like a movie script that Steve B. in Grand Junction, CO might want to write.
Take it away, Brandon C. in Pinckney, MI:
Domestic / allied shows are typically held either in a boondoggle location (Hawaii, Colorado Springs, Charleston SC, Paris/London/Mallorca) or in a completely non-descript CONUS town (hello GVSETS in Detroit! Hello Space and Missile Defense Center conference in Huntsville!).
Almost all attendees are US citizens in the biz or allied military officers. Displays are ITAR / public release materials and the big OEMs (LockMart, Raytheon, General Dynamics, etc) will have big football field-sized display areas with vehicles, models, and many, many monitors with hype videos. However, most companies have a 10 ft x 3 foot booth with a table and a poster and a monitor for software demos (almost everybody is selling software now-- meh).
Booths are manned by either business development sharks, tech experts with poor social skills manning tech demos, or the local office admin who got stuck with making sure enough brochures/swag are out and appointments are kept. Discussions are rarely "big deal forthcoming" discussions, more feeling out each other for intel, trying to steal each other's personnel, or mining the Bubba network with active-duty officers for any slight insight as to upcoming acquisition plans.
For BD schlubs like me, it's a lot of prep and paperwork and not a lot of fun. For example, for the show I went to in Maui this September, I was usually up and out of the hotel by 0600, over to the local office to get binders and meeting notes prepped for the day's meetings for myself and our seniors, then to the conference hotel for a quick buffet breakfast and then either to the booth or our corporate meeting room in the hotel complex from 0800 - 1800. Then it's after action reports, debrief meetings, and figuring out food.
If you have any energy left, you decide whether to hit the corporate rival's party to get free food and drinks and save your per diem, or blow it on a nice dinner with the one or two co-workers/rivals you like. Else it's grab the best takeout/pizza in town and head back to your AirBnB condo for that and the beer you bought at the Costco by the Kahalui airport when you landed, so you can maybe text with the wife for a couple of minutes while you watch SportsCenter after hours until you're ready to head to bed around 8-9pm. I think I had 3 sit-down meals the week I was in Maui this year.
The golf course by the conference looked nice. Swag is generally downplayed because of worries about bribery laws, but typically you can score some nice golf balls, reusable shopping bags, fun custom art socks, laptop decals, some USB devices (branded charging / octopus cords), maybe some local food samples (Maui Economic Development Board gets the best macadamia nut cookies; ABQ brings the green chile roasted pecans), and occasionally a really helpful pocket tool (screwdriver set the size of a sharpie, electrical tester, emergency hammer-- Army conferences tend to be more Tim The Toolman Taylor focused).
Best swag I've gotten before from booth displays was a nice full button-up golf shirt with a government agency logo.
Now the foreign shows- this is where the stars shine.
For example, I'll tell you about the Moscow Air Show which I attended twice. Company puts you up in a 5* diplomatic hotel. Breakfast buffet has a harp player, sushi chef, and your choice of carved roast beef/turkey/pork.
Transportation is all done in concert with either private security, or US embassy assistance. You go from your hotel to a military airbase outside Moscow (about a 60-minute drive).
You're there for 10-12 hours so be ready (backpack with bottled water, energy bars, and a Gatorade). Inside the grounds, every major defense company in the world has large booths with demo models of their coolest shit.
GPD jammers from North Korea? Check.
Mig's and Sukoi's on the airstrip with missiles attached? Check.
Swedish air defense missile systems? Check.
Israeli x-ray systems and high-power directed energy weapons? Check.
Want to sit in a Brazilian counter-insurgency aircraft with a helmet on and pretend you're manning the side guns? Check.
And all around you are foreign military officers and their flunkies from every country you can think of, in enough varying uniform designs to make you think about the old Naked Gun movie intro. You as the American are the prize catch, so everybody wants to talk to you. The booths are manned by top 15% Instagram models from the local Moscow region, and some imports.
Think Mikayla Demaiter straddling an air-launched cruise missile on display in leather chaps and a cowboy hat.
And then beside the display booths are the "chalets"-- glamping tents set up with air conditioning, fully stocked bars manned by even more fully stocked Instagram models, armed security in numbers that would make a rap mogul blush, and all the slimy dictator's 3rd cousin by a second marriage hangers-on than you can imagine.
Star Wars cantina style.
This is where the real deals happen.
If it's a Russian company (and I was there one of the years the Russians were willing to sell things to US people), they break open the vodka and you talk business. Export laws, export licensing, "transport fees", "shipping fees", "administration fees" (all skimming by the seller), dates, shell bank accounts, you name it. And you have to finish the vodka or else it's an insult.
Then if you make the deal, you must celebrate! More vodka, or if you're a crafty American, you break out the bottle of bourbon you brought-- Russkies love Jack Daniels. Full stop. Then you and your translator figure out a way out of the chalet and rehydrate while poking at an overly burnt kebob you got from the food stands.
Yes, you want the overly burnt kebob because (A) you're not really sure its the animal they say it is and (B) if it's burnt it ain't living (organisms). Then rinse, repeat for the rest of the day. All the while, you're taking notes of the "friends" you pick up along the way and figure out what foreign intel service they're from-- mostly likely Russian SVB, but could be someone else.
If you know or remember some of the companies there and they're friendly, you'll likely get invited to sit down at their booth for an adult beverage. A Scottish company where I know the CEO from his previous gov't service with HMG invited me to just sit down for about an hour and bullshit while he poured some 20 yr old scotch from his local distillery.
The show's over and after you picked up your share of high-end luggage giveaways (once got a legit $250 North Face messenger bag from a Norwegian armored vehicle company), bottles of premium vodka, a Sukoi aircraft company hockey jersey, USB thumb drives that have more viruses than James Bond's underwear, and occasionally brochures and technical manuals you're not quite sure you won't get arrested for at the airport, you board the bus back to the hotel.
That evening you go out to a high-end dinner with company compatriots and amazingly(!) the same guys you saw at the airshow are there two tables over! How weird. $250/person later you stumble back to the hotel, pass the hotel bar which is now populated with every manner of hooker allowed by the hotel concierge, and hit the sack. You might be woken up at 2-3am by a knock at your door from a scantily clad lady who wants to "practice her English" with you, or the unusual fire alarm that goes off at 4-5am but lasts for 30-60 minutes and when you get back to your hotel room, your luggage seems slightly off from where it was, and a new lamp is on your nightstand.
You leave to go home and after the expected hassling at the airport security, you board your flight happy to get back to the Ol' USA. The Russian trip I described was the most extreme example of this-- other foreign military shows are most of the time a couple highlight displays with some conference hall presentations on new advancements in a weapon system and going out for a pub crawl in a really interesting foreign city.
Overall, I have a rule for military trade shows- if the "door prize" for registration is good, then the conference is going to be good in content as well as booth giveaways. The best piece of luggage I own came from a mil trade show about 15 years ago and that conference continues to get my money as the best organized and run trade show. Never hungry, alcohol is free, after party scene is varied/creative/walking distance, and work day ends around 4 pm local.
• Andy in Knoxville is currently at some defense contractor show in Hawaii. On Tuesday, I asked him about the swag at these conventions:
The swag is pretty disappointing, it is usually things like pens, notebooks, and key chains. The coolest thing I was able to grab for my kids were little F-35 fighter jets made from that stress ball material. They loved those.
As you can imagine, government acquisition is red tape and bureaucracy at its worst. No actual buying occurs at these things, it is more for companies to show their new capabilities.
For example, the helicopter in the picture is a prototype and that company is trying to showcase its capabilities to the government decision-makers who are looking for a new helicopter to replace the current one. Yes, foreign militaries that we are friendly with send reps to see what the US is acquiring and see if it will meet their needs as well.
I have no doubt that not-so-friendly organizations send people to gather information about what new things are in the works, But, while nefarious actors may be there to gather information, they can't just hand over a briefcase of cash and drive off with a tank!
No legit defense contractor would ever do that anyway, they would be busted and would never be able to sell to the US government again. All of the stuff that winds up in the hands of bad guys is usually foreign equipment that comes from countries that don't care who they sell to, not to mention the black market.
I'll be on the lookout for some good swag this week and report back with some samples if I find anything worthy of Screencaps!
I purchased packs of baseball cards for the first time in approximately 17 years and it all came back to me -- sorta -- but why are the colored edge cards worth so much more?
As I mentioned Tuesday, over the weekend on the quick family trip I ended up buying a 7-pack box of baseball cards. To be specific, I bought packs of 2023 Topps Series 2 cards. The shop owner said that's a decent place to start for someone who has been out of the trading card game for so long.
My observations:
• Guy G. in western New York writes:
When my brother and I were 11/9yo, my dad thought it would be a good idea to try something new for Advent. Chocolates, while exciting, wasn’t what he was looking for anymore. He went and bought boxes of UpperDeck football cards.
Each day, we’d get home from school, to new packs of cards. This was the Brett Favre rookie card year, and apparently, UpperDeck didn’t think much of him. Combined, we got more than 10 Favre rookies. As the month went on, our pile of ‘doubles’ grew. On Christmas Day, we each got a box of packs. Best gift of the day, as I can’t remember what else was under the tree.
We were meticulous, and put every card in the binder, in order, working to create the perfect set, with only packs. In the end, we each were about 20-30 cards short. My dad had a buddy with a card shop, and we were able to trade some doubles to complete the set. (Dad also traded a cord of wood for the 1990-91 O-Pee-Chee Premier set, with Jagr, Roenick, Fedorov, Modano and Mogilny rookie cards. Set isn’t worth much, but those individual cards are worth a bunch)
Now, as an adult with 3 kids, I wanted to try and pass that on.
Each Sunday, the two smallest bring their binders out, and a box of cards. They have no idea what they’re looking at, as they are 3.5 an 1.5.
My daughter finds all her favorite Bills players and has about 80% of the logos down. (Bucs and Raiders are still “Pirates”)
We’ve been giving them old cards from the 80’s, 90’s and current cards. Josh Allen is on the current box, and is the most frequent.
Still a lot more fun for me than it is for the kids, but they look forward to it every Sunday!
Govt is asshole/HVAC changes
• Dawgs fan Eddie from Acworth writes:
I am in the HVAC industry and I thought the community would appreciate this info-and it further shows how incredibly stupid the people in Washington are.
I just got back from a seminar where we discussed massive industry changes in 2025 all in the name of "climate change". Now keep in mind that the industry had to undergo massive changes back in 2010 because these idiots thought the new refrigerant (410-a) would help the planet (vs r22 destroying the planet). Turns out this new refrigerant is actually WORSE for the environment now we are having to change again.
Needless to say, all this does is drive up the end user's cost to get an estimate on a new system-it is like buying a used car now and will only get worse.
Each HVAC system is measured by Global Warming Potential (GWP). Currently, a new system equates to about 1800 GWP-and the Washingtonites have decided that that number needs to be reduced to <700. Fine. We are currently making said changes, and new systems will be changed over in 2025 to meet these requirements at even higher costs.
There is a proposal in NY state to reduce the GWP to <10 by 2029. Guess what. No HVAC system has been INVENTED that can achieve that. Nice idea NY.
One of the main goals of all these absurd proposals is to completely do away with gas and oil heating systems and use all-electric. Try heating your home up north when it is single digits with all electric and get back to me with your power bill provided the grid can even keep up with that. It is an asinine idea but falls right in line with them forcing EVs down our throats.
If you have any HVAC system issues currently, you better get them fixed or changed now before these regulations take place in 2025-or you may never be able to get gas/oil heat again. Not to mention prices will be going up 30-40% (minimum) over and above what it costs now-including repairs.
But remember it's all for the planet. Until said idiots discover in 10 years that these were impractical ideas and they aren't helping. But the next round of changes will be the panacea we are all waiting on. They promise.
Mailbag: Stopping football games due to injuries?
• Jeff A. writes:
Clay Travis floated the idea last year that if a game is stopped because a football player is hurt on the field and can't leave under their own power, that player should have to sit out the rest of the game.
While I wouldn't go to that extreme, I do think a player should have to sit out the rest of the offensive/defensive series if they have to stop a game to tend to them on the field.
This is too ripe to be abused and manipulated otherwise, as I've seen players that supposedly couldn't move after one play run on the field for the next.
What are your feelings here?
Kinsey:
Based on my brain not being able to remember a game where feigning injuries was a huge issue, I don't have a problem with where the rules are right now. Now, the NFL could have themselves an issue if it's proved that the NFLPA advised running backs to fake injuries to create contract leverage.
Someone give me an example of the injury rule being used nefariously to win a game.
Email: joekinsey@gmail.com
#TeamSunrise
John H. is quickly becoming an all-star in the Screencaps sunrise and sunset industry. I have refrained from asking John H. about his travels around the world as he keeps dumping out more and more photos from his collection because he's rolling and I've learned that it's best to stay in my lane and not get nosey about how people ended up in remote places that 99.9% of the Screencaps community will never visit.
Needless to say, there are some rather interesting individuals who pass through the inbox. Sometimes they share life stories, sometimes, like John H., they remain mysterious and it makes this column a can't miss for consumers.
• John H. writes:
Sunrise Torres del Paine - Patagonia
• John H. continued:
Sunrise on the road to Myvatn - Iceland
• Tyler V. in Birmingham writes:
My parents took my family and my sister's family on a trip to Arizona last summer to help them celebrate their 50th anniversary. Our last morning at the Grand Canyon my son and I got up early to go watch the sunrise. While we were there a solo hiker passing by asked me if we would like for him to take our picture. Maybe he's a reader of your column and will see this. It's a special picture.
• PGD in Illinois writes:
First time emailing, but I really enjoy Screencaps, so thank you!
I’ve attached a sunrise picture from Steamboat Bay Fishing Club on Noyes Island in Southeast Alaska. The bay itself faces northeast so the sunrises are incredible from our lodge.
The sunset picture is from Waterfall Resort on the west side of Prince of Wales Island, also in southeast Alaska. Waterfall faces west and has incredible sunsets (but you need to stay up pretty late to witness in the summer).
Both places are amazing fishing lodges and incredibly fun places to visit. Whales, eagles, sea lions, blacktail deer & black bears are daily visitors.
• Glyn in Tennessee sent in this real-time Wednesday sunrise in Tennessee:
#TeamSunset
• Eric F. says:
Long time reader first-time emailer. Included a couple sunset pics taken a few years ago at Gaither HS in Tampa. Hard to beat Friday night lights and a good sunset.
Take care and keep up the good work.
#TeamMoon & the 'Battery Daddy Still Sucks'
• Anonymous writes:
Still love the column and congrats on the growth and longevity. I really wish they would give you your own subpage with archives and a search feature so that the next time I need advice on a mosquito or yellowjacket problem or travel advice or whatever, I could quickly pull it up. I bet it would be fairly popular.
I have really enjoyed the recent sunrise/sunset/moon pics from all over and I have always enjoyed the beautiful scenery pics toward the end.
Confession time. I have missed two over the past 10 days or so, although one of those was because the link (after it was moved down due to nightcaps) took me to one from 3 days prior.
I may have missed a response due to the previous, but about two weeks ago, someone (can't remember the name) requested info on battery-powered lawn equipment and I don't remember a follow-up. I can't help with the mower part as a battery-powered mower for my sized lawn would be seriously cost-prohibitive; however, I can provide my experience with other battery-powered lawn equipment.
I had been hesitant, but about 4 years ago, a Dewalt blower was on sale for a fraction of the price of a decent gas one and since I had plenty of their batteries, I decided to give it a try. Absolutely fantastic purchase. Just recently came in after blowing a truck-sized pile of leaves out of our front yard.
It is not going to move wet leaves real well and I can definitely tell a sizeable difference from my gas backpack blower, but I still grab it 99/100. I liked it so much that I bought one for my father and added a hedge trimmer and chainsaw to my collection. I like the trimmer as well, but would not recommend their chainsaw.
Run time with blower on max speed with the cruise control is about 23 minutes on a 5AH battery. A couple of years later I bought an EGO 18" chainsaw (if one is shopping, definitely go with their 18" vs 16" - it has a much more powerful motor and you can always switch to a shorter bar n chain if needed) and I really like it. Plenty of power and you can fell and chop up a large tree without using even half the battery.
Their polesaw is also good and gets a lot of work around here. One thing to keep in mind is the weight. For instance, the battery alone for one of my EGO tools weighs more than the blower and battery combined of my Dewalt.
Bottom line: if you already have a battery system, Dewalt, Ryobi, Kobalt, Craftsman, whatever, it won't set you back that much to try out a tool-only blower and you may find out, like I did, that you will love it. If you don't already have a battery system you use, start small and pay attention to the volts. A 5AH 20 volt weighs very little while a 5AH 56 volt is pretty heavy.
I love the night sky and this is a pic off my back deck.
The battery daddy still sucks.
Kinsey:
Damn, I didn't expect to get to the bottom of that email and see such a vicious shot at the Battery Daddy, which is all the way down to $9.95 at Costco. I had no idea a sub-$10 could be so triggering.
It's literally a tackle box for batteries. It doesn't tax your paycheck or say mean things back to you, but Anonymous still wants to take shots. Sheesh!
Let's roll today!
I'm loving all the new emailers. I'm loving Anonymous taking a shot at my beloved Battery Daddy. I was shocked to hear multiple people tell me Tuesday that they either bought Volley Shots or put it on Christmas lists. Again, #notsponsored.
There are some really good vibes right now on Screencaps and the numbers tell me the column is resonating with new readers on a daily basis.
Let's keep the momentum rolling.
Email: joekinsey@gmail.com