Miley Cyrus Leaves SEC Coach Confused, UTEP Ready For Primetime, Remembering Tim Hardaway, Free Domino’s Pizza & Introducing Sam LaPorta’s Girlfriend

Fire up the NBA Jam and pump up your Reeboks. We’re likely the only column in America going UTEP heavy today, and for good reason. I'm sure Miley Cyrus gets it, but maybe not Georgia's Kirby Smart (more on that later).

There’s Wednesday night college football that needs our attention, Tim Hardaway’s ankle-breaking deservedly is revisited – with a timely assist from former Indiana Hoosier guard/turned OutKick host, Dan Dakich. And, maybe most importantly, Domino’s has an emergency pizza on the ready so you can add some (additional) carbs to your Wednesday Nightcap! But don’t worry, that’s not all. We’ll introduce you to Lions rookie standout Sam LaPorta's girlfriend, Callie Dellinger, and attempt to erase common core math.

So grab your nearest mechanical pencil, set the table with your finest paper plates and let Dan Campbell know you're down to bite some kneecaps. This is Wednesday's Nightcaps, and you've earned it!

Let's Erase Common Core Math

I didn't want to have to start with a downer, but I'm paying way too much tuition money to bite my tongue about my kids' curriculum. See, I'm about 18 hours removed from helping my daughter with her 5th grade common core math homework. It sucked. It also sucked last year when my son brought home the same brain busters and it'll suck next year when some other mom or dad faces the same task.

When the F did we decide we needed to change math? Why are we adding columns and ones and zeros? What bunch of nerds got together and one day decided, "Ya know what, we've been doing this all wrong. We should change math entirely." This is a bully-free zone (or at least we probably have to say that), but I would bully the shit out of those nerds. Put 'em in a locker, give em a swirly, steal their lunch money, you name it.

Changing the way we do math is nearly as absurd as Mario Cristobal's late-game management.

Let's just nix this whole thing now. You had your fun, nerds. Now make yourselves useful and teach these kids how to dial up the old Google machine and use their iPhone calculators.

UTEP And FIU Meet In The Acronym Bowl

Ok, that's not really a Bowl Game (yet), but The University of Texas at El Paso (1-5) does meet Florida International University (3-3) this evening. Who cares about this Conference USA showdown? Umm...me. And all the other dads out there seeking an opportunity to swap common core math for finance and statistics. Of course, by that, I mean some pre-weekend football to wager on.

Next to Nightcaps and dive bars that host "Working Women's Wednesdays," there is no better way to spend Hump Day than betting on dozens of 18-to-22 year olds. That's what we'll be doing tonight. PointsBet has UTEP getting 2 and the O/U at 44.

I'd be lying if I knew much about either squad, but I'm going with FIU and laying the points. As for the over/under, I'll steer clear.

That's a fairly long trip for the Miners to make (on a school night nonetheless!), and their only win was a Week 2 home date with perennial powerhouse Incarnate Word. The schedule tells me it was Miner Magic/80s Night, which does nothing but leave me pissed that I had other plans on September 2.

Also, Butch Davis - who once resigned as head coach in the middle of a Browns season (hard to blame him) - had a coaching stint with the Miners, so they get bonus points in my book.

Then again, Mario Cristobal also had a run as the FIU Panthers' top dog (or would it be top panther?). So let's just hope FIU isn't up late with the ball and UTEP out of timeouts.

Regardless, I'm emptying the piggy pank and putting it on Florida International.

We've got the UTEP Miners in action tonight on a Wednesday! (Photo by Christopher Hook/Icon Sportswire via Getty Images).

Tim Hardaway Might Be Watching UTEP

There's a chance former NBA point guard Tim Hardaway will be watching the Miners as well. Before securing a spot in NBA Jam lure alongside Golden State running mate Chris Mullin, Hardaway was a star at UTEP. While there, he developed his signature crossover move dubbed, "the UTEP two-step." Hardaway's move undoubtedly has one of the best names of any hoops move.

What can top that? "Crab dribble?" How about "Euro-step," or "teardrop?" Yeah, not that cool. Anyways, here's a look at Hardaway's signature move for those of you that were deprived of The George Michael Sports Machine as kids:

Quick aside, Top 3 NBA Hardaways:

Now back to your regulalry scheduled Nightcaps.

As soon as I saw that UTEP was playing tonight I thought of Hardaway. And when I knew I wanted to hit the wayback machine and talk 1/3rd of "Run TMC," I shot OutKick's Dan Dakich a text asking about the UTEP two-step.

Most of you already know this, but prior to hosting Don't @Me with Dan Dakich, our guy Dan was a standout for the Indiana Hoosiers. After his playing career, he spent more than two decades as college coach - including at Indiana - and remains a hoop head.

Dan Dakich played and coached at Indiana and gave me an incredible answer on Tim Hardaway. (Photo by Gregory Shamus/Getty Images).

I knew he was familiar with Hardaway so I asked Dakich what was so unique/impressive about the UTEP two-step. Dakich responded like only he can:

"We (IU) kicked Tim Hardaway’s ass in the NCAA tournament in 1989. His move only worked against sorry ass NBA PLAYERS not IU hoopers!!!"

Dakich's comment had me so fired up that I played my son one-on-one in the driveway shortly after. My two-step was lacking and I lost to a kid who literally has a broken hand. But that's alright. He still has a bedtime and I get paid to write about pizza (we'll get to that part eventually, I promise), so I'm still the big winner here.

Kirby Smart Has No Clue Who Miley Cyrus Is

From one legendary to coach to another we go, courtesy of Georgia's Kirby Smart. Following Georgia's dismantling of Kentucky, Smart admitted to reporters that he has no idea who Miley Cyrus is. And, I believe him.

When a reporter compared Georgia to a wrecking ball and then dropped a Miley Cyrus reference, Smart confusingly responded:

"I don’t know who Miley Cyrus is. What does she have to do with wrecking ball?" Smart then added, "I know Eric Church Wrecking Ball."

Church, by the way, sings "Like a Wrecking Ball." Miley, of course, croons "Wrecking Ball."

Kirby's comment almost makes me root for Georgia.

How can anyone not know Miley Cyrus?. (Photo by Kevin Mazur/WireImage).

Maybe next week a media member can reference a different pop star and see if Smart is in the know. And if not, there's always gonna be another mountain. Right, Miley?

Introducing Sam LaPorta's Girlfriend Callie Dellinger

I'm willing to bet Smart's heard of Lions rookie tight end Sam LaPorta, but maybe not his girlfriend, Callie Dellinger. And that's a shame. Dellinger is a former member of the Iowa Hawkeye rowing team and clearly has first team NFL WAG potential.

LaPorta's showing out for the Lions - 25 receptions, three touchdowns - while Dellinger's already made a name for herself on Instagram. She is, or was (no need to get into the details), a SoulCycle instructor and can now consider herself a card carrying member of the Nightcaps community.

Apparently the Motor City got two tight ends! Who knew?

Oh, and how sweet was this play on Sunday?

Just when you think Dan(tallica) Campbell can't get any cooler, the Lions head coach dials up that beauty.

How About Some Free Domino's Pizza?

Campbell probably knows how to dial up some Domino's too. I mean, he's the prototypical man's man. No chance he's going to waste his time ordering an IPA and a $30 honey sriracha pizza from some trendy spot with an owner who vapes. Nope. Campbell's keeping it real and ordering Domino's and having it delivered in 30 minutes or less and likely pairing it with a Bud Heavy.

I'll hear no arguments against that vision.

Anyways, Campbell, and everyone else, should be pleased to know that Domino's is offering a free "emergency pizza" to its customers.

In a new promotion, the pizza chain is giving a free medium pizza to customers in need of a pizza fix.

"Perhaps you burned dinner, the power went out or maybe your in-laws just dropped in without notice — whatever your emergency situation, Domino’s believes a free pizza can make anything better," Kate Trumbull, Domino’s senior vice president and chief brand officer, said in a press release explaining the promotion.

To claim the free pizza, customers must sign up for Domino's loyalty program and place an online order of $7.99 or more. Once they do, they've got a free "emergency pizza" coming their way between now and Feb. 11.

The only thing better than pizza, is free pizza. Sign me up.

Shania Twain And Foo Fighters Collab

If the free pizza isn't enough to satisfy you, how about a collab of a handful of '90s greats? And if you don't like the '90s, please see yourself out. Or just write me an angry email like the time a Nightcaps reader didn't like my sarcasm or promotion of Diet Coke.

You can never be too careful around aspartame, ya know.

Where were we? Oh yeah, a little musician-meets-musicians at Austin City Limits, '90s style.

During the weekend concert festival, Shania Twain hit the stage with the Foo Fighters. They performed the Foo's hit song, "Best of You," together to a surprised crowd.

On Sunday, Twain took to X to share how much enjoyed performing with the rock legends: “This was one off the bucket list for me! Firstly thank you to @foofighters for inviting me on stage – you are all so generous and ridiculously cool. I am a huge rock fan.”

Not loving the red hair on Ms. Twain, but it's always cool to see worlds collide. And the Foo Fighters can do no wrong in my opinion.

And I'll tell ya what, Shania looked pretty comfortable up there. Almost as comfortable as she feels naked...

It's Not Goodbye, It's See You...Next Wednesday

Now here we sit with the gift of free pizza and a treasure chest of '90s references. I've done my part, the rest is on you - at least until we converge in this space again next week. Till then, enjoy this side of internet crumbs, guaranteed to not spoil your dinner!

Careful on your way out!

*Nightcaps publishes at roughly 4pm Monday through Friday.

Want to talk common core math or Domino's, email me: anthony.farris@outkick.com and don't forget to Follow along on X: @OhioAF