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Here come the phonies and their No Mow May or No Mow Month campaigns that local TV stations keep running because they're weak and woke themselves
• Brad H. writes:
As a TNML member, I’m a NO GO on No mow.
Kinsey:
I'll cut to the chase: The No Mow May and No Mow Month wokes can kiss my TNML ass. Shame on the wokes for continuing to push this nonsense that they know is stupid. Shame on the TV stations for continuing to appease the wokes by running these reports.
For those of you who want to hear from an expert, let's go to Oregon State University where they know a thing or two about lawns and landscaping. "Overall, I can't recommend the no-mow May approach," Weston Miller, a horticulturist at Oregon State said in 2022. "If you want to help pollinators, plant native shrubs like Oregon grape and ground covers like kinnickinnick. Plant flowers like cosmos and rosemary."
And while we're at it, let's address that bullshit ‘Don’t clean your garden beds until it's 50 degrees!' guilt trip that Save the Bees and Butterfly suburbanite women will put you on via Facebook.
"It is true that if you destroy an insect’s habitat while it is overwintering, that it is highly unlikely to survive into the next season," Gail Langellotto, a horticulturist at Oregon State wrote in 2021. "However, the typical maintenance and cleanup tasks for spring gardens (such as pruning berries in March or cutting back ornamental grasses in April) are unlikely to broadly harm insect pollinators, with the possible exception of cavity-nesting bees.
But…but….but…but…WHAT ABOUT THE BUTTERFLIES…THESE WHITE MEN CLEANING GARDEN BEDS IN MARCH AND APRIL ARE MURDERERS!
Not according to Gail.
"Although it is possible that urban and suburban gardens offer suitable habitat for butterflies, few studies have looked at butterfly overwintering in different types of garden habitat," Gail writes. "Studies that have counted butterflies in gardens have found that the vast majority are the ubiquitous, non-native cabbage white butterfly, Pieris rapae.
"This butterfly is reported to overwinter in bark and crevices above the soil. Thus, typical gardening cleaning tasks are unlikely to harm the most dominant butterfly in urban and suburban gardens."
I rest my case. The Save The Bees lunatics can kiss my ass.
The TNML is heating up
These are the emails that keep me fueled this time of year when I get extremely busy with TNML, the Woke All-Star Challenge, the secretarial duties of the Two-Club Challenge, the Masters trip and my managerial duties of coaching rec ball.
Bob D. in Huntsville writes:
I can officially state I am a member of the TNML. Enclosed is the picture of my first stripes of the year. As you can tell, the lawn is a variety of pasture grasses, mainly fescue and Bermuda. With the rain we have been getting the fescue is going crazy while the Bermuda is still dormant.
Before I retired at the end of last year, it just wasn't possible to get 5 acres mowed after work on Thursday. Now I can get the yard taken care of and still have time to have a cold one before the sun goes down!
Kinsey:
I 100% meant what I said yesterday while creating the 70+ TNML club: Corporate America and the Internet has forgotten about the retirees. Facebook's business strategy is to make the retirees pissed off at the world so they'll sit there all day refreshing the app to see what else they should be pissed off about.
"The TNML says the hell with that, we want you to continue to be productive members of society," I wrote.
Thank you to Bob D. in Huntsville and the other retirees out there who have embraced this league. You're the backbone.
MARCH MADNESS
• Dana B. has a message for those "trying to be cute and picking Samford over Kansas":
I realize anything can happen, but I just don't see it.
Kinsey:
I didn't know there was a contingent of bracket analysts picking Samford.
BTW, I need to sit the kids down tonight to pick brackets. Mrs. Screencaps hates this night, but she is required to take part as well. If we have to get excited about her seedlings popping through the dirt, she has to act excited for three weeks of basketball.
Hunter says ‘Thank you’ for all the Indianapolis advice for traveling with a 6 & 3 year old
I knew the Indy readers would be a great resource for Hunter. I forwarded all your emails and now the guy has a legit trip lined up.
• Hunter writes:
Thanks so much for passing along all of the suggestions. We have a couple places added to our list that weren’t even on our radar. Looking forward to our trip!
• Dan in Wilmington, OH wrote:
Hunter needs to take his kids to the Sugar Factory in downtown Indy. It's the most obnoxious, over the top restaurant I've ever been to. They have outrageous milkshakes, ice cream sundaes, burgers, etc. I don't know anywhere else you can get a waffle bun breakfast hamburger, a 24k Gold hamburger, and wash it down with a donut milkshake.
Cleveland advice needed for Scott and his family
• Scott H. writes:
Joe, Outkick fan from its inception. Family is headed to Cleveland June 28th weekend for an engagement party for youngest daughter and her fiancé (born and raised in Cleveland). Older daughter and son in law coming with their 1 and 3 year old daughters. Looking for activities for the kids. Are they too young for Rock and Roll hall of Fame? We are planning on West Side Market, walk around Garfield’s cemetery. Any other recommendations?
Kinsey:
Who can help Scott? Will there be anything for the youngsters at the HOF?
Email: joekinsey@gmail.com
The Snacklebox
• Doug in Florida writes:
Joe when going on an outing somewhere, to the beach, camping, or maybe even playing in a 2-club golf extravaganza and you can’t have your well sculpted charcuterie board with you , just rinse the fish guts out of your tackle box and create a Snacklebox. The guys will definitely be impressed and troll that baby!
Kinsey:
This is the year I'm packing one of these for the Up North Michigan golf trip. Save the "There are chemicals all over that plastic" emails. Did you ever think of the chemicals I'm putting in my body on these golf trips.
I'll be fine.
Rec ball and March Madness
• Jason R. writes:
You are absolutely killing it on the rec ball crusade. It’s an absolute money grab. You wouldn’t believe what these tournament organizers are raking in. These parents pay a crazy amount for an entry fee/travel/food/weekend passes to play the same local kids they would if they played rec ball. The sad part is that "travel ball" has become what rec ball used to be minus the community building part.
I believe there is a need eventually to travel and play better competition but that used to be left up to AAU at older ages. I’m referring to basketball but I believe travel baseball is similar. We have let grifters infiltrate youth sports and ruin it. With AAU, you used to have to win your sub-state to qualify for states then you eventually made it to nationals. Nationals meant your team was the best of the best in the nation. Now you have a million different organizations all offering tournaments and you can’t even play your way into them. You have to be invited ($$$). It’s sad to think if I played today, I would’ve never even gotten the opportunity to play against future D1/NBA guys because we would’ve never been invited to such tournaments.
I see the NCAA tournament as becoming the same thing. The high majors are effectively trying to make the NCAA tournament an invite only for them. All for the sake of making more money. And the Big J’s seem to be pushing for it. Do you have any insight to why journalist would want this? The thing that makes March Madness so great is seeing the mid-majors upset the big programs. It will be a shame to see another thing I love ruined.
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And with that, I gotta run. It's a big day around here. It's time to get the Woke All-Star Challenge rolling with the play-in games. Good luck to your brackets.
Now go have a great day of life. Enjoy that Spring Break trip.
Email: joekinsey@gmail.com