Florida Man Hooks A Tiger Shark, Red Lobster Memorabilia Hits The Auction & What Not To Eat At The Beach
What are you even doing? It's Memorial Day — you should be 10 beers deep and floating on a body of water somewhere. Not reading my silly little Nightcaps.
Just kidding, don't leave. I'm happy you're here.
I hope you're just taking a quick breather from a well-deserved fun and relaxing weekend. As you read this, I'm lounging in my backyard, sipping on Miller Lite, listening to some '90s country music and watching my husband cook up a batch of ribeyes. Ribeyes we got for free, by the way.
How, you ask? Pull up a lawn chair.
My husband and his buddies have been wanting to grill up some tomahawks for a while now. But in Joe Biden's America, those things are expensive. So we waited for a special occasion: Memorial Day, it is.
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(Getty Images)
Being the hostess with the mostest that I am, I fired up my Instacart app (not sponsored) on Sunday morning to order the steaks. Look, I love grocery delivery. Call me lazy if you want, but I'll happily pay a few extra bucks for the luxury of not having to go to Sam's Club — especially on a holiday weekend. So I ordered up 7 pounds of tomahawks for the group, a case of Millers and a watermelon.
Honestly, what more do you need?
So imagine my disappointment when the shopper arrived with 7 pounds of …regular ribeyes. No tomahawks — just $97 (+ tax) worth of meat that we didn't order. I pulled up the app, and I let Instacart know that, while my shopper was lovely and I'm not mad at her, we definitely got the wrong item.
Within minutes, they issued a refund and told me to keep the steaks. Boom. I just hit the lottery.
I told the fellas they could either eat free ribeyes or they could fork over $100 for me to go to the butcher shop. Not shockingly, they all picked the first option.
Here's a live look at them right now:
In all seriousness, though, I do hope you're enjoying your day off work and also remembering the true reason for the holiday.
A whole lot of men and women made the ultimate sacrifice so that we can enjoy the freedom we have today. And to those of you who have lost a loved one in the line of duty, just know you have the love and gratitude of not just me, but everyone here at OutKick. We can't possibly thank you enough.
So, if you'll join me, pause for a moment and raise up a glass of whatever you're drinking — in honor of those who made it possible.
It's Nightcaps time.
What Not To Eat At The Beach
Hitting the beach today (or anytime this summer)? Well, you're in luck — because I'm here to save you from doing something you'll regret …bringing the wrong food!
An ER doctor named John Torres has weighed in on the five foods he would never bring to the beach for fear of food poisoning. And I'm willing to bet you're probably guilty of at least a couple of them.
Ready? Here we go…
Cold Cuts: Dr. Torres said sandwiches with deli meats or cold cuts are dangerous to bring to the beach because they must be refrigerated until they are ready to be eaten. And apparently he's never heard of a cooler.
You can pry my mid-day beach sandwich out of my cold, dead, sunburned hands.
Fresh Salads: A groundbreaking new study published in the Journal of Food Protection finds that leafy green vegetables are a major source of foodborne illnesses. Torres then goes on to warn that you should wash your hands before preparing your salad, and I'm still having a hard time understanding how any of this has to do with the beach.
But moving on…
Anything with Mayo: Torres says potato and egg salads are always a major culprit when it comes to summertime food poisoning, and I'm actually with him on this one. Some may argue that mayonnaise is nasty all the time, but I think the gross factor is multiplied in the hot sun.
This reminds me of a Twitter debate I had among my colleagues a couple of weeks ago.
Matt Reigle was horrified to see people eating bowls of cereal by the pool. His concern was the messiness factor. My ick, though, was the thought of slurping a bowl of milk in the hot sun. I started to argue that dairy in the summertime heat is just a no-go altogether, but then I remembered I like cheese.
That's when Dan Zaksheske jumped in to tell us that cereal is "an anytime / any place food." And Zach Dean wanted to know if yogurt was acceptable — especially if it was in portable, Gogurt form.
These are the important conversations that need to be had.
Raw Meat: I was initially very confused about who's throwing raw hunks of meat into their beach bag, but I guess he's talking about cookouts. So if you're grilling at the beach, experts say, "scrub the grill before use, wash hands before and after handling raw meat and use a food thermometer."
And to that I say: Duh.
Pre-Cut Fruits: And this is where ol' Dr. Torres loses me altogether. Pre-cut fruit is a no-no?!
Get a load of this nonsense: "Torres reports that pre-cut fruit can get warm faster and attract insects — he recommends bringing the whole fruit (like watermelon) to the beach to slice there, making sure to clean your hands, knife, and cutting board before doing so."
Who the fudge is bringing a whole ass watermelon, a cutting board and a giant serrated knife to the beach? You just gonna lay that puppy out in the sand and chop it up right there? That knife might come in handy when you're fighting back the dozens of seagulls that are going to be positively dive-bombing you throughout this process.
That is the dumbest idea I've ever heard. And this guy is supposed to be a smart doctor.
You know what? Forget this whole list. Bring whatever you want. Or just go back to your hotel room to eat, like this guy.
Florida Man Hooks A Tiger Shark
Now that you've worked up an appetite, it's time to do some fishing!
Earlier this month, a dude named Owen Prior reeled in a 12-foot tiger shark from the pier at Jacksonville Beach.
In the state of Florida, tiger sharks are classified as a "prohibited" species — meaning they can't be harvested recreationally or commercially. Further, there are specific guidelines on how they must be treated if caught.
In fact, you're not even allowed to take a picture with a tiger shark if you catch it. But our guy Owen took one anyway. Because he's a rebel!
He probably eats pre-cut fruit at the beach, too.
Owen said that while he’d guided clients to catching hundreds of sharks (including a 14-foot hammerhead), this is the largest shark he's ever personally caught.
But in accordance with the law, he had to release it back into the ocean. So if you're visiting Jax Beach this summer, be on the lookout for that guy!
The shark, of course. Not Owen.
Red Lobster Memorabilia Hits eBay
Red Lobster has been a mainstay for decades for folks who don't want to do their own fishing. Sadly, though, the restaurant chain recently closed around 100 stores and filed for Chapter 11 bankruptcy.
Turns out, dishing out all-you-can-eat shrimp for $20 isn't a great business model.
But one restaurant's loss is another eBayer's gain — as folks have flocked to the auction site to sell memorabilia from the dying seafood joint.
So if you've ever wanted giant brass lobster claws on your front door, now is the time to act!
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(Screenshot: eBay)
Father's Day is coming up. Imagine dad's excitement when he opens up your gift: a box full of red plastic lobster claw sandwich picks, an old employee name tag, an authentic photo of a random fisherman pulled right from the restaurant wall… or even a set of vintage Red Lobster branded glassware!
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The glasses actually are kind of cool. My brother used to collect hurricane glasses from this bar called Top O' Mast in Fort Myers Beach. That little divey place had the best rum rummers and banana daiquiris that money can buy.
Sadly, it went out of business and was replaced by some cookie cutter seafood restaurant that wasn't all that great. Prime location, though.
Until Hurricane Ian, that is.
See, my favorite place in the world is Fort Myers Beach. My family has been vacationing there since before I was born, and it was a second home to me. So when the storm washed the whole damn beach away in September 2022, I was devastated. I sat there all day, crying and feeling helpless, while watching it unfold on the Weather Channel.
I wonder if that's how Red Lobster lovers felt when they found out they were losing their cheddar bay biscuits.
Anyway, all that to say, I'm really glad my brother smuggled out those Top O' Mast glasses. Because they are prized possessions now.
OK OK, enough of my rambling for today. Besides, with Zach on vacation, you're stuck with me for most of the week.
Just a few more laughs before you go…
Holiday Weekend LOLs
No electrical outlet? No problem.
Note to self: Don't flambé a steak under a sprinkler.
Do we think this is his real name?
You have to be impressed by Dad's ingenuity here.
When you have to get the lawn in tip-top shape for the cookout, but the cicadas have other plans.
Why is this SO spot on?
Honestly, I can't think of a better way to end Nightcaps than a dancing Donald Trump.
Y'all be safe and enjoy the last few hours of your long weekend. I've got a free steak to eat.
OutKick Nightcaps is a daily column set to run Monday through Friday at 4 p.m.
Follow me on X / Twitter at @TheAmberHarding or email me at Amber.Harding@OutKick.com.