Melania Trump Starts The New Year By Crippling The Left In A Black Dress That Got America Talking

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Happy New Year, America. It's time for the Trumps to retake the White House, and make this country respectable again. 

Item No. 1 on the 2025 agenda? Let's go ahead and swap out First Ladys, and bring back the hottest one of all – Melania Trump. No offense to Dr. Jill, but come on. She ain't competing with Melania. 

Frankly, maybe only Jackie-O belongs in the same conversation, and I'd still give Melania the edge – although it's close. 

Oh, you don't believe me? Think I'm still drunk from last night? Think I'm just a biased MAGA blogger who doesn't know his ass from his elbow? 

Think again, Karen!

America reacts to Melania Trump

Did our great First Lady bring the heat into 2025, or what? What a way to start the new year!

PS: Look, I like Elon Musk. I have a bunch of Tesla stock, so I'm counting on him to lead me into an early retirement here in 20 years. But, that dance was awful. Like, really, awful. As hot as Melania was last night, Elon's dance was a thousand times worse. Sad. 

Unfortunately, they may cancel each other out. Tough. I have to be fair, though. 

Anyway, back to the First Lady … she had Patriots across this country absolutely crippled last night. Social media blew up. The Libs were furious. The wokes over on Bluesky were crying. Mark Cuban probably fainted at whatever weirdo New Year's Eve party he was at. 

But us sane folks? We were all in. It's 2025. A new year. Trump is back, and so is Melania. 

All is well with the world again. 

Let's head to the comments section and see how America rung in the new year:

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Zach grew up in Florida, lives in Florida, and will never leave Florida ... for obvious reasons. He's a reigning fantasy football league champion, knows everything there is to know about NASCAR, and once passed out (briefly!) during a lap around Daytona. He swears they were going 200 mph even though they clearly were not.