Megan Moroney Might've Gone A Little Heavy With The Fake Tan, Coldplay Memes & A Huge Vegas Slots Win
Plus: Will Johnny Manziel ask for his money back from the state of Ohio before it pays for a new Browns stadium?
So long, Colbert
I'm not a big fan of celebrating people losing their jobs, but when you take late-night TV and turn it into what Colbert turned the Late Night into, I have no sympathy.
Colbert had the choice to make his show funny, unique and introduce us to crazy dog tricks and new comedians. Instead, it was this.
Network television is dead. Kimmel is next.
Taking pride in your property all the way to the grave
— Anonymous in NC tells me:
I attended a memorial service over the weekend. The memorial program included a list of the man’s favorite things. The list included "a freshly mowed lawn". I don’t know if he knew about Screencaps and the TNML, but he certainly appreciated a freshly mowed lawn for most of his 88 years.
And he raised a family, worked hard, coached, umpired and served his community. He lived a great life.
One of the people at the memorial service was the man’s best friend from childhood. This friend was also Josh Hamilton’s pitcher in the 2008 HR Derby. That was the night Josh Hamilton smashed 28 HRs in the first round. It was cool hearing him tell a couple of stories about that night.
Thanks for this community.
What happens when you take a tiny house and attach it to a prison bus?
— Kirk B. in Minnesota asks:
What do you call this?
At the Walmart Parking Lot Superior WI
Is it a Tiny House Bus
Or A Tiny Bus House
Only The Owner From Texas Knows
Kinsey:
I zoomed in on the front of the bus and found the IG page for the super woke family that drives this around the country. They have five kids living in that bus.
How's that possible?
Take a tour!
Something to ponder this weekend
— Brendan (formerly from F'ville) presents:
My buddies and I used to debate which "physiologic need" felt the best:
1. The glass of ice water (or ice-cold beer) when you're parched.
2. The piss when your back teeth are floating.
3. The dump when you've had to go all morning
4. The burger and fries when you're absolutely famished.
My contention is that nothing feels better than a giant dump when you've really got to go.
— Brent P. in Carmel, IN asks:
Here is a question I ponder a lot. When putting on your sox a shoes…are sock-shoe, sock-shoe. Or are you sock-sock, shoe-shoe. I personally am sock-sock, shoe-shoe.
Travel Ball Hardo Chris B. in Houston fires up at least one reader with his travel sports kids at hotels take
— Vince says:
This may be the most absurd thing I’ve read in some time:
(Ed. note: Hardo Chris B. emailed me this statement on Thursday) "Most things described in this article are totally customary. Kids often take Xboxes with them and pack into rooms to play for hours. And/or they have fun at the pool. And/or they push each other up & down the halls & elevators on luggage carts."
Travel Ball Hardo Chris B. lived up to his name with this nonsense. Doesn’t surprise me this goof lives in the d bag central of Houston. Though he likely lives in one of the suburbs and just says Houston.
Great American Bo T.'s big move from Michigan to Arizona made an impression on readers
— Dan from AZ (formerly IL) says:
Playing some catchup today on SC and saw Bo’s email to you. Happy to hear about another Screencapper making the move to AZ. I wouldn’t mind taking him up on his offer to meet for a cold beer.
This millennial (and fellow former midwesterner) wouldn’t mind meeting a great American and chatting about life.
Kinsey:
My plan to bring Millennials into the Screencaps fold is working better and better by the day. Five years ago, Millennials didn't care about topics like washing machines and mowing the lawn.
Now?
Millennials are eating up this column and the characters they read about on a daily basis.
Bo T. is a retired Green Beret. While he has told me over and over that he's no legend in the biz, I'm sure Bo has great perspectives on life to share with the Millennials.
Let's see if these two connect.
— Gene in the Rock writes:
I sympathize with Bo about the lawn. I lived in El Paso for 13 years, and when I first moved there, it was to an apartment complex that actually had a grass lawn (unusual for the desert southwest). It was pretty much dead and brown, but got watered every day anyhow.
A few weeks in, I asked the groundskeeper, "Paco, why do you keep watering this grass? It's half dead." He scratched his head and gave me a very strange look, then asked in turn, "But senor -- you want grass, don't you?"
That's when my New Jersey dumbass realized that if you didn't water the dead, brown grass, it would quickly turn into dead, brown rocks. I walked away shaking my head. Welcome to Sun City, gringo.
A laundry story with a twist
— Lee D. writes:
Went to college and roomed with a guy nicknamed "Animal." He was a really good guy. Had some money. We rented a house (with some other guys). He had a big bedroom in the basement (because he paid for it).
Animal liked to smoke (weed) now and then. Meaning, just about every night if he wasn't doing homework. Once, Animal bought a "supply." Not sure of the amount as I still don't smoke. But it was a sandwich bag full.
Since Animal had cash, he didn't do his laundry. He dropped his laundry off at a laundromat and they'd have the laundry ready the next day. Well, one day Animal couldn't find the previously referenced bag of new supply. He turned his room upside down thinking he hid it while stoned to save for a rainy day. He was going nuts. Then he realized: Maybe he left the bag in a pair of jeans he dropped off at the laundry?
Remember this was the 1980s. Being a public pothead was no bueno back then. Animal got real paranoid thinking if he picked up his laundry the cops would be waiting for him. But he needed his laundry! So he sweated for a couple of days until he had no choice.
He used the drive-up (thinking it would be a safer choice and the cops wouldn't barricade the drive-up) and got his laundry. Animal gets home and starts to put away his laundry. And right there on the pair of jeans he thought he left the pot in, the bag of pot was there intact, safety-pinned to the exact same pair of jeans that he left the pot in!
More men saying they handle the laundry duties
— Millennial John in New Hampshire writes:
I am what is considered an elder millennial (43). My wife works 3rd shift as a nurse/clinical supervisor, our family splits laundry duty. I collect it, load it, hang it, dry it, and my wife and kids fold it and put it away. I make breakfast, lunch, and dinner 80% of the time. I vacuum, pick up the cat puke, take care of most of the day to day operations of the household. My wife is not sitting around on her phone eating Bon Bons all the time. She does the lions share of grocery shopping, heavy cleaning including the toilets and showers, helps with homework and takes care of all illnesses. Although some traditional roles are switched, we share the responsibilities to keep the family operating like a well oiled machine (most of the time).
— Rick R. tells us:
Yo Caps. I have been in charge of the entire home’s laundry for the past 35 years. It all started when I opened my fitness business and worked out 3 times a day. My wife worked full time and I needed fresh skivvies so that left me at the helm. I wasn’t gonna stiff her and just take care of my own stank clothes. She shops, cooks and cleans the dishes so it’s a good deal for all.
The kids came along and I added them to the laundry list. They had to bring the clothes down and take them back up and put them away.
I’m up at the crack ass of dawn and start a load every morning and finish it when I’m home for lunch.
It’s a well oiled machine here at my palace…me-laundry and all outdoor chores…wifey-everything on the inside.
There's a surprise inside this dive bar video
The summer patio life look like where you live: Idaho edition
— Mike T. has been laying low and enjoying the relaxation of the paradise he and Mrs. T. have created. Mike says the temp in this pic was 92-degrees with 14% humidity:
################
And that is it for another Friday. It feels like Wednesday, but it's actually Friday. Unreal. My brain hasn't been on track for at least two months.
Let's go get after it and finish strong before some of us go on vacation.
Email: joe.kinsey@outkick.com or use my personal Gmail