The Masters Amateur Who Peed In Rae's Creek Has A Girlfriend Who May Be America's Next Star

Fine, I'll say it – I'm all in on Arizona State bro Jose Luis Ballester. There. Happy? I don't care what you golf purists think. I don't care what you Masters snobs say. 

I stand with Jose! 

For those who missed Round 1 of The Masters, on CBS, it went pretty much like this:

- someone shot a 90

- Rory collapsed on the back-9

- Freddy Couples is in the mix

- Gary Player told us we're all going to die

- US Amateur took a leak in Rae's Creek and wore a hat that triggered all the Boomers

There, all caught up? Good! See? Who needs Tiger Woods for #content when we had a big day like yesterday? Golf is in great hands!

Anyway, let's focus on Jose from ASU. He's an amateur. He played with Scottie Scheffler. He shot 4-over. He wore a hat with backwards lettering, which is apparently the trend right now. 

More importantly, he took a pee in Rae's Creek, which angered the snobs. 

Most importantly, the internet has tracked down his girlfriend, and, frankly, I'd be pissing in Rae's Creek, too!

Jose Luis Ballester made a smart business decision 

Welcome to the show, Hayden Riley James! This is how we jump into a big weekend at The Masters. Forget the leaderboard. That'll change 100 times between today and tomorrow. I want the off-the-course drama – like the internet tracking down the next big Masters star. 

I think Hayden is in for a big few days here. Let's see how she attacks it. 

Anyway, everyone is, of course, ganging up on Jose. I won't stand for that. The whole golf world is pissed at him today and saying Augusta should never invite him back and that he's an embarrassment to the world. 

Piss off. He wore a hat with the words spelled backwards. Big deal. He didn't wear the actual hat backwards, you morons. Are we really that nitpicky now? God bless. Lighten up. 

And how about the fake outrage at him taking a leak in Rae's Creek? Oh no, someone peed in our holy water! It's forbidden! Nail him to the cross! Hang him in the streets! Death penalty! 

Shut up. He peed in a creek between shots. Get over yourselves. 

This is why I'd take the US Open and the PGA Championship over Augusta any day of the week. This weekend has all the prestige and honor and glory and blah blah blah, but it's also so exhausting. Can't do this, can't show that; can't say this, can't say that. 

God. Enough! 

And by the way – you know what nobody is talking about here? How Jose Luis Ballester made a business decision here. And it was 100% the right one. 

Look what we're all talking about today! Not Scottie. Not Rory (well, a little Rory). Not Brooks or Bryson. Jose – and his girlfriend, of course. 

He could've just been another amateur who goes out there and gives it his all and enjoys the experience and scores an interview with Marty Smith that nobody watches …

… or, he could've etched his name into Masters lore.

Smart move. Hot girlfriend. I'm all in.