Mark Hamill And Trump Opponents Can't Help But Go All In On Ear Conspiracies

Former president Donald Trump thankfully survived an assassination attempt, and at least physically, he was no worse for wear save for the fact that a bullet ripped through his right ear.

So, it makes sense that about 48 hours after this all went down, Trump would have that ol' ear of his bandaged up, because… well… 48 hours earlier there was a bullet ripping through it.

But the "believe science" and "believe all victims" left is having trouble doing both when it comes to the attempted assassination, because Trump Derangement Syndrome has eaten away at some left-wing brains so badly that they can't believe a guy got shot in the ear despite thousands of witnesses, one rally attendee tragically killed, and video of the entire incident.

Nope. To some dopes who are guzzling pitcher after pitcher of the progressive Kool-Aid, something smells fishy…

READ: AMERICA'S HOTTEST COP REACTS TO TRUMP ASSASSINATION ATTEMPT

Let's start with actor Mark Hamill, a man for whom the only thing stronger than his force sensitivity is his TDS.

Hamill tweeted out a photo of the "ludicrously oversized ear bandage" when he walked out at the Republican National Convention on Tuesday.

Man, we haven't seen Mark Hamill this bent out of shape since his plans to pick up some power converters at Tosche Station got permanently derailed.

First, of all, it appears Mr. Skywalker was referring to the claims that Trump was playing golf the day after the shooting, sans bandage. Of course, that's been debunked, but I guess even a Jedi master gets his facts wrong from time to time.

But I love that in Hamill's expertise — from his experience in 2 great Star Wars movies, one so-so one, and three turds (you can decide which are which, but I think we'll have the same answers) — that bandage is much too large for Trump's injury.

So, then what's the right size bandage after one's ear almost gets removed by an assassin's bullet? Surely the guy who voiced the cartoon Joker has this answer.

I get he's playing the team game, but at a certain point, it becomes brown-nose-ish.

C'mon, Mark. Biden can hardly defend the southern border let alone an entire galaxy.

This picture also like what would've happened if Luke agreed to team up with Emperor Palpatine while his friends were down on the Forest Moon of Endor knocking Stormtrooper skulls with the help of a bunch of teddy bears.

It's kind of sad to see a beloved movie star unravel like this because of politics. Maybe have yourself a glass of blue milk or go to town on the teet of that weird green milk monster from The Last Jedi (that was one of the aforementioned "turd" movies, by the way) and come back to Earth. 

Former RNC Chair and guy who is definitely not a fan of Donald Trump, Michael Steele, continued to peddle the debunked theory that the former president had been injured by a piece of glass from a teleprompter. (Tom Williams/CQ-Roll Call, Inc via Getty Images)

Former RNC Chairman Michael Steele Continued To Float Teleprompter Theory

While Hamill was taking childish shots others who have had their brains broken over the years were trying to hold onto debunked conspiracy theories the way Linus clings to his security blanket.

Former RNC chairman and 2020 Biden endorser Michael Steele hopped on MSNBC to give them what they wanted: someone to throw the ear injury into question.

"Where I am at this point, it's been three days going on four, since this horrific event occurred," Steele began. "A person lost their life, two have been severely injured, and yet we've not received a medical report from the hospital nor have we received a medical report from the campaign, or from the Trump Organization about the extent of the damage to his ear." 

Steele then filibustered rattling off a bunch of things haven't yet been announced, but you can understand why he'd do that. MSNBC has a lot of air to fill these days now that they've had to pump the brakes on trying to scare their audience into thinking Trump is a threat to Democracy.

Perhaps, Michael, the open investigation into the attempted assassination of a former president and presidential candidate that no one seems to have answers to, might explain why a lot of cards are being held close to the chest.

But again, there are 24 hours in a day that MSNBC needs to fill, so why not trot out the ol' "Trump's ear was cut by a shattered teleprompter" theory that was debunked almost immediately?

"Was it caused by a bullet as opposed to, as some reports from those on the scene; other reporters, saying that it was actually shards of glass from the teleprompter itself, not the bullet?"

I mean, that was reported within the first two hours of the incident, but we know that wasn't true. Even if it was, though, why would that matter? The whole issue is that some lunatic was able to take shots at a former president. Even if Trump came out completely unscathed, it's a massive problem.  

Trump opponents are obviously in full-on panic mode right now. They're grasping at straws.

Obviously, people on the left and Trump opponents are trying to win an election, and are in a sense fighting a war on two fronts: they're dealing with how the attempted assassination of Donald Trump galvanized Republicans, while still trying to sort out the mounting issues within their own party, not the least of which is who will be their nominee.

I get it. We all get it. That's how politics work.

But pedaling completely debunked conspiracies — something I thought people on the left absolutely hated, by the way — isn't going to do them any favors.