Mariah Carey Swears She's Not AI, 50 Cent Torches Jay-Z & Eagles Fan Takes Football To The Face

I'm going to be honest with you guys: I am having a really sh*t week.

I'll spare you the details because they're depressing. Just know that I am plowing through this column, full speed ahead, on the Struggle Bus. And unlike Deebo Samuel, I don't need to be Community Noted about it.

I don't tell you this to solicit pity or to kill the mood for Nightcaps, by the way. I tell you this because my brain is sleep-deprived and barely functional, and I selfishly don't want to be held responsible if today's edition goes off the rails.

Although, who am I kidding? Nightcaps is way better off the rails.

Maybe you're having a sh*t week, too. Or a very good one. (As the Gen Z kids say, "In the clerb, we're all fam!") 

Either way, grab a beer — one of those frosty ones from the garage fridge — and settle in. It's Nightcaps time!

Is Mariah Carey Real …Or An AI Imposter?!

The Christmas season is in full swing, and that can only mean two things: 1) Non-stop Mariah Carey and 2) Spotify Wrapped.

If you're not familiar with Spotify Wrapped, congratulations on having a life. But basically, it's the streaming platform's way of identifying for you your favorite artists, songs and musical genres — as if you didn't already know. It's also a tremendous opportunity for every basic girl on your Instagram feed to brag about how she listened to 43,000 minutes of Morgan Wallen this year.

This year, Spotify included personal messages from some of its most popular artists. These singers pre-recorded videos talking about what a great year they had and thanking their fans for streaming their music. 

For example, if you've spent a lot of time listening to Mariah Carey in 2024 (probably not the case for much of the OutKick audience, but no judgment), then you might have gotten this message:

Immediately, fans noticed something about the video looked… off. Maybe it's her flat and forced delivery that comes off more like a hostage video than a holiday greeting. Maybe it's the glitchy robotic movement. Or maybe it's the fact that the video looks, altogether, computer generated.

Fans immediately assumed this video message was created by AI. (Mar-AI-ah, AMIRIGHT?!)

Sorry, I warned you my brain isn't firing on all cylinders today.

But Mariah is denying accusations that this video is inauthentic. And she took to X to set the record straight.

"Bad lighting and a red lip have you all thinking this is AI??" Mariah wrote. "There's a reason I'm not a fan of either of those things! About to celebrate @Christmastime with my Boston #lambily!"

I'm truly not sure what a red lip has to do with anything, but what do I know? 

Also, I learned something else. I thought that last part was a typo or that Mariah was tripping on Eggnog or something, but turns out she just has a special pet name for her fans. One Mariah Carey fan is a "lamb." A group of Mariah Carey fans is a "lambily." (Like lions/pride, wolves/pack, geese/gaggle).

Anyway, I don't know if that video is real or not. And I'm not going to waste any of my precious time trying to dissect it. I'll just take Mariah's word for it and assume that it's entirely heartfelt and genuine because celebrities usually are.

But while we're on the subject of AI and Christmas, I think this is something we can ALL get behind:

My husband — hater of Christmas music and lover of Creed — is going to be so conflicted when he hears that.

Jake Elliott ALLEGEDLY Hits Fan In The Face

With a football, obviously. He's not just going into the crowd and delivering knuckle sandwiches to innocent strangers.

A woman named Jill Zimmer claims that she was smacked in the face and required medical attention at Sunday's Philadelphia Eagles game against the Carolina Panthers. That football came off the foot of kicker Jake Elliott.

And not to be a Skeptical Steve here (Is that a thing? It is now.), but I looked up the video of the one Elliott field goal attempt from Sunday's game, and it was a 52-yarder that fell short and didn’t even enter the stands.

So just like fans watching that Mariah Carey video, I said:

But then, in the replies of a later video, she explained that the incident actually occurred during a PAT attempt.

"It wasn’t a field goal it was the PAT that got called back cause of a penalty and then they did the conversion," she wrote.

OK OK, maybe she isn't a liar liar pants on fire, after all. But that still doesn't explain how a person could be so oblivious that she wouldn't notice a football flying at her face in the middle of game action.

But she clarified that one for us, too: "I was walking back to my seat like scooching past everyone so i was looking down the row to see where i was going and then i looked up and immediate ball to the face."

Sorry about your face, Jill. We haven't seen a woman get blindsided with a pigskin like that since Marcia Brady.

Doug Simpson will never want to go on a date with her now!

Get A Load Of This Giant Python

That's what he said.

(Again, I'm sorry.)

But for real, this might be the biggest snake anyone has ever seen. 

Recent flooding in Thailand and Malaysia has high waters — and all the horrors that come with them — washing out into the streets. So imagine everyone's horror when an ENORMOUS reticulated python was seen taking a swim through the village of Pattani, Thailand. 

Actually, you don't have to imagine. We have a video.

And unlike that Photoshopped shark-in-the-street picture that circulates the Internet every single time a hurricane hits Florida, this image actually appears to be real.

What do you think about that, Mar-AI-ah Carey?!

If I were a resident of Pattani, I'd be high tailing it on the first tuk tuk out of there, and you'd never see me again. Matter of fact, burn the whole town down.

This is after two women were swallowed whole by pythons in Indonesia earlier this year, by the way.

According to my research, the record size for a sea monster of that variety is 33 feet long! That particular hellacious danger noodle was shot and killed in Celebes, Indonesia, in 1912. But more than a century later, ol' boy in the video above looks like he could be pretty damn close to beating the record.

And while we're on the topic of sea monsters, did you know gators love lasers?

I wonder if that neat little party trick is how that air boat tour guide dude bagged Lana Del Rey.

50 Cent Gives Zero F*cks

Since Mariah Carey has caught enough strays today, let's end this thing by sh*tting all over a celebrity who actually deserves it. And we'll let 50 Cent do the honors.

Just in case you haven't heard, Jay-Z has recently been accused of raping an underage girl with P. Diddy back in 2000. Amid those very serious allegations, though, the world's ugliest rapper still thought it would be appropriate to hit the red carpet at the Los Angeles premiere of Mufasa: The Lion King on Monday night.

And outspoken fellow rapper 50 Cent was quick to call him out in a since-deleted Instagram post.

How the mighty have fallen. (Get it? Because Mufasa fell off that cliff?)

Let's mercifully wrap this one up.

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OutKick Nightcaps is a daily column set to run Monday through Friday at 4 p.m.

Follow me on X / Twitter at @TheAmberHarding or email me at Amber.Harding@OutKick.com.