Margo Martin Sheds Her White House Uniform For A Boat Day, Kay Adams Makes Love To Ice Cream & Trump Vs. Fatso
Two weekends of May down, two to go until we reach Memorial Day – and the start of the #SummerSZN. I can feel it in my plumbs. I can smell it in the air. I can just about taste it.
We're close, boys and girls. Hold out just a bit longer. Two weeks from today, it's on. Can't wait.
Anyway, I'm four days and five nights into sleep training, and what a week it's been. It's the damnedest thing I've ever seen.
This little kid, who hadn't slept in his own bed through the night since before Christmas, is working on a 5-game hitting streak right now. He's on Mantle Watch at this point!
Now, naps are still proving to be a challenge. Nap training and night training are two different beasts, we've found. But, it's a marathon, not a sprint.
I can deal with crappy naps if it means he's snoozing away from 6:30 p.m. to 7 a.m., like he did last night. Could you imagine sleeping for 12 hours right now? Seems insane to me, but God bless him.
Welcome to a Monday Nightcaps – the one where we wish a very Happy Mother's Day to Gracie and Tavia Hunt, and go from there.
What else? I've got the best of the rest from a loaded weekend of #content, Trump talking about the fat drug and pissing off the fat Libs along the way, inverse Cramer is doing the Lord's work this month, and Margo Martin hit the river in a long orange dress that has patriots ready to run through a brick wall.
Whew! Don't you dare tell me I'm mailing it in on a slow Monday in May. We're all systems GO right now, folks. Let's roll.
Grab you something tall, strong, and hurricane-ish, and settle in for a Monday 'Cap!
The fat Libs are gonna love this one
It's been an excellent few days for Trump 2.0, and, after a rocky April, we're gonna pounce on that momentum.
Quick, can you name five things Joe Biden accomplished in his four years? Anything? Literally, just five, simple things. Doesn't even have to be big things. Just a couple small feathers in his old, senile cap?
Nothing? OK, cool. Now, let's check in on how Trump is doing, despite all the insufferable PANICANS running for the hills over the past month:
I mean, good lord. What a week! It's why the whole tariff outrage never moved my needle. Not once. I never understood it, really. Trump has been telling us for a year now that these tariffs were never permanent. Frankly, they were never realistic. They were always a negotiating tool. That's it. Nothing more.
Anyway, you know what hopefully is permanent? The Trump vs. Big Pharma battle that started this morning. No clue how this thing shakes out, but if it provides us #content like this for the foreseeable future, I'm all in:
What a weekend of #content!
I mean, it's just incredible. Love him or hate him, you can't tell me he doesn't still have his heater at 78. I was a fat kid, so I can say this – fat jokes are funny. Let's just be honest here.
Calling out people for being fat is a tradition unlike any other in this country, and we got away from that over the past few years.
Not anymore! "Fat shot drug" is such a great way to refer to Ozempic. Also, love the technique here from Trump.
Compliment, insult, compliment, insult, compliment, compliment, insult. Veteran move from someone who knows the game better than anyone.
Again, it's been a solid week for the good guys (that's us!). Let's keep it up as we head into the middle of May.
OK, let's get to the best #content from a big Mother's Day weekend. The Algo has been BIG on AT&T Lily lately, and we're fine with that around here:
Kay, Gracie & Hook 'Em!
What a weekend! So much #content, I had to leave some stuff on the cutting room floor. Sad. Oh well.
Couple thoughts …
1. I remember that Red Lobster commercial like it was yesterday. Can't believe it's 30 years old now. $3.99! What a great deal.
2. Britney seems well. Looks like she hasn't aged a day!
3. Margo, on the other hand, does actually look good. Love when she stops by class. What a pistol.
4. JordOn was second runner-up in Miss Maine over the weekend, which is just fancy talk for third-place. Bullshit. I guarantee you it's because Bill's a Trump guy.
5. Inverse Cramer never misses! Absolute legend.
OK, rapid-fire time on this second Monday of May. I've got another nap-training session coming up.
First up? I've never, in my life, seen a content heater quite like the one Kay Adams has been on this year. We're watching Nolan Ryan in 80s. MJ in the 90s. Brady and Bill in the 2000s.
It's a Hall of Fame career in the making, and we're living through the peak of it. #Blessed.
My God. Chills. What a video. What #content. What a specimen.
Next? Let's go from the most perfect person in the universe to maybe the biggest prick in America, which is SAYING something:
I saw that over the weekend, and couldn't stop watching. How did this lunatic not get one in the earhole? You could probably end that crap with one perfectly placed fastball. I know, because I've seen it. It works.
Like tariffs! It's a negotiating tool, really.
I can't believe this kid is a freshman, too. I also can't believe he pulled this crap, down 8-1. This is why kids need to be spanked. I'm usually the guy who goes against the grain on stuff like this, but even I can't vouch for this weirdo.
Even his own teammates have to be embarrassed by it. They HAVE to be.
PS: I will give Jonah props, though. He may have looked like a douche on Friday, but he responded with an oppo-taco rope on Saturday. Fair is fair:
Nice piece of hitting! That being said, piss off.
OK, that's it for today. Good start to the week! Happy belated Mother's Day to everyone out there, including Gracie and Tavia Hunt!
See you Wednesday.
(Slide 6, before you all yell at me in my email)
OutKick Nightcaps is a daily column set to run Monday through Friday at 4 p.m. (roughly, we’re not robots).
Have you taken the fat shot? Email me at Zach.Dean@OutKick.com.