Man Convicted Of Stealing Golden Toilet From The English Palace Where Winston Churchill Was Born

A man in the United Kingdom and his accomplice have been convicted after stealing a toilet.

But not just any toilet: an 18-carat gold toilet.

And not just any 18-carat gold toilet: an 18-carat gold toilet from the home that former British Prime Minister Winston Churchill was born in.

According to the Associated Press, Michael Jones and a couple of associates used sledgehammers and crowbars to break into Blenheim Palace, which is where Churchill — who history buffs will recall had a pretty big role in World War II — was born.

Churchill never got to give the toilet a test drive as it's actually considered an art piece that came along much later.

But still, a gold toilet is a gold toilet, and this one was insured for around $6 million.

The gold toilet in question has never been recovered. (Photo by Leon Neal/Getty Images)

The day before the break-in, Jones was in the palace when he used the solid gold crapper, and called his turn on the fancy terlet, "Splendid."

Which is probably the most English way one could describe a spin on a gold commode.

Now, I would never condone someone stealing a toilet from Winston Churchill's boyhood home, but I won't lie, I can understand how it could escalate to that point in a hurry.

I've never had the pleasure of using a gold toilet before, but I imagine that once you do, it's pretty hard to go back to the Kohler you've got at home. It just doesn't have the same air of class that a solid-gold commode does.

I just imagine Jones — probably after a hearty English breakfast — dropped trow, had the bowel movement experience of a lifetime, and said, "Oy, mates; I fink we need to nick that gold loo what they got in that palace, I do."

I'm not sure if that's how he talks, but that's the voice I hear in my head.

Sadly, the toilet has never been recovered, and it is believed to have been sliced up and sold.