Man Breaks His Dong In Two Places, Hears A 'Snap,' But There's A Happy Ending
Does the OutKick Culture Department want to write about stories like this one out of Tunisia where a guy fractured his penis in two places while sleeping?
Hell no!
But, we NEED to write about guys fracturing their dongs in the middle of the night while rolling around in bed because some of you think you're invincible. Guys, IT CAN HAPPEN. One minute you're having some wild dream about laying the most amazing stripes in the history of Thursday Night Mowing League, and the next thing you know, some doctor is analyzing your dong at the hospital.
In the latest edition of the International Journal of Surgery Case Reports, doctors explain the case of this man who showed up at the hospital with "penile swelling, deviation, and the characteristic ‘eggplant’ deformity."
I know, I know…this is hard to read, but necessary.
"Ultrasonography revealed extensive subcutaneous edema and a substantial hematoma at the penile base, with a disruption in the tunica albuginea," the doctors continued in their report.
Sounds horrible, right? There's actually good news.
. / Getty Images
Doctors were able to fix this Tunisian GenZer:
"Surgical exploration identified two distinct fractures in the corpora cavernosa, which were successfully repaired. The patient experienced a rapid and complication-free recovery, regaining full erectile function within four days," the medical team concluded.
Here's even better news: Fracturing your dong in two places while sleeping, doctors say, is quite rare.
The common cause for fracturing a dong happens when there's sharp, blunt force to the "appendage," the Daily Mail reports. In other words, crazy sex positions are typically to blame for guys ending up in the emergency room.
We actually wrote about such a case back in 2022 when a guy was banging until he heard a snap.
Based on the Culture Department archive, this double fracture is a whole new ballgame for OutKick. New territory.
How do doctors fix two fractures of the penis?
It's a long, drawn-out process. If you really want to know, click on the link above from the medical society. Fair warning, there are images in that link that will have you covering your eyes. I'm telling you – FAIR WARNING.
The lesson to be learned from the guy who broke ‘it’ while rolling around in bed?
Here are some suggestions on how to kill a possible erection while you're sleeping:
- Look at photos of Lizzo before hitting the sack
- Cold shower before bed
- Look at the photos of how they fix a fractured dong…DON'T LOOK, I'M WARNING YOU
- Sleep in a recliner
- MedicalNewsToday.com claims meditation will prevent an erection; The site also says to find distractions and to "avoid thinking about anything arousing." In other words, think of the most disgusting lawn you've ever seen…and Lizzo asking if you want to go back to her hotel room.
Guys, I know you don't want to talk about this stuff. It's a hard read. I get it, but it's our journalistic duty.
Stay safe out there.
Email: joekinsey@gmail.com