MAGA Bikini Congresswoman Triggers Libs With Her Pocahontas Sign, Hegseth Vs. Homeless Tim Kaine & Nancy Mace!
None of my kids slept last night, my entire Twitter feed is just this stupid "4K" trend that makes me want to rip my eyeballs out, and the Libs have thoroughly pissed me off today.
How is YOUR Hump Day going? Good? Great! Let's roll, then! By all means.
Welcome to a Hump Day Nightcaps – the one where we introduce a Lib-triggering bill with MAGA Bikini congresswoman Anna Paulina Luna, and then see who has the NUTS to pass it.
What else? I've got so much #content from yesterday's insane Pete Hegseth confirmation hearing that I don't even know where to begin, Joy Behar sadly says she will NOT be singing at Trump's inauguration, and maybe the most based Sheriff in the world.
Shockingly, he comes from … Florida! Weird. Didn't see it coming. Just kidding! We are a no-nonsense state, after all. God, I love this place.
OK, grab a bagel for National Bagel Day, and settle in for a Hump Day 'Cap!
What a day yesterday for Pete Hegseth
Love a good bagel. Back in college, I used to start every morning with a sausage, egg and cheese on a blueberry bagel from whatever woke eatery Emerson College had on campus at the time. Nothing sopped up the alcohol on a Monday morning quite like that.
Mount Rushmore of bagels?
1. Everything (duh, I'm not a Lib)
2. Blueberry (see above)
3. Onion
4. Cinnamon Raisin
And by the way, you animals that put butter on your bagels instead of cream cheese are insane. Nothing against butter – trust me – but that's psycho stuff. Absolutely nothing to be proud of there. Do better.
OK, where was I? Oh yeah! Pete.
What happened yesterday in his ridiculous confirmation hearing was the most pathetic thing I've ever witnessed out of the left, and that is saying a lot. I didn't think anything could break them more than COVID, but then Pete Hegseth took a seat and endured hours of unhinged Libs just screaming at him.
At one point, he was asked about waterboarding. And you know what? I would take waterboarding over sitting through this any day of the damn week:
And that wasn't all, folks!
I wrote about it this morning after a solid two hours of sleep, so if you really wanna feel my anger, save this link for later on when you're watching Everybody Loves Raymond reruns on TV Land.
Long story short … I knew the Dems were nuts. I knew they were so far gone, and so far left, and so batshit insane that most of their own party stopped recognizing them years ago.
But I didn't realize it was this bad. I didn't realize they were this childish, and this pathetic, and this, frankly, dumb (looking at you, Liz Warren!).
Can't imagine why Trump won in a landslide last November!
And if you thought Pete vs. a homeless-looking Tim Kaine was the only battle in D.C. yesterday, think again! We had two Nightcaps OGs – Nancy Mace AND Anna Paulina Luna – throwing haymakers on Capitol Hill:
Tiger, Florida Sheriff & Joy!
My God. What a day for our girls yesterday, and that's not even including Riley Gaines! Riley, by the way, scored her own win – and a win for this country – by keeping bio men out of bio women's sports.
She did it. It passed. We won. Thanks, Riley!
Serious question … who has it better than us right now? And by ‘us,’ I mean sane America? We have girls like Anna Paulina calling for the death penalty and mocking Liz Warren (Pocahontas!), Riley fighting for women's rights, and Nancy Mace ready to bash skulls.
What a trio! These next four years are about to blow our minds. Cannot wait. Five days.
OK, rapid-fire time on this third Hump Day of January. First up? Might as well stay political since this entire class has been politics today!
My God. Amazing. Grady Judd is such a badass. He's a legend down here, for obvious reasons. You think he's excited for this Monday?
How awful does all of that sound, by the way? How ass-backwards is this country right now? Lunacy. We're so lost. Not for long, though. Buckle up, Libs. Winter is coming.
Next? Fine! I'll give you some sports-talk today, even though we are currently in the dark period of the calendar. NBA? College hoops in January? NHL? No thank you. Sorry. Won't do it. Just can't do it.
But some Eldrick? Oh buddy, I can do some Eldrick:
Anyone watch this yet? I'll be honest, I just haven't. Not sure I will. Don't know that I can make myself watch a bunch of dudes hammering shots into a simulator for hours on end, even if one of those dudes is Tiger Woods.
The ratings have been surprisingly decent, and they're doing it during a pretty slow time of year for sports, so maybe it sticks? I dunno. I just can't do it. Change my mind!
Finally … back to politics! Sorry in advance.
Take us home, Carrie!
Phew! Joy Behar will NOT be singing anything at Trump's big day next week. Thank God. Glad we got that all squared away.
What a nutjob. Imagine being this stupid. What a day for Dems yesterday, and 47 hasn't even taken back the White House yet.
Like I said, I think we're in for a special four years. Can't wait.
Take us home, Carrie. We respect the vets around here.
OutKick Nightcaps is a daily column set to run Monday through Friday at 4 p.m. (roughly, we’re not robots).
You voting yes on Pete? Email me at Zach.Dean@OutKick.com.