MAGA Bikini Congresswoman Threatens 'Too Late Jerome,' Catfish Girl Has Kiffin's Eye & Arch Manning's Crowd

For a Hump Day with no sports … there's a TON going on right now. Now, none of it is particularly great, but at least it's #content. 

Beggars can't be choosers in the middle of July. And that's exactly where we are – the mid-point of July. And all the world is talking about today is Jeffrey Epstein and Jerome Powell. 

When I say, ‘We need football back,’ this is what I'm talking about. Right here. Today. You just can't escape it. 

Do you know what I'd do for a shitty Thursday Night Football game right now? Give me a Colts-Panthers primetime game tonight, and I'd be happy as a lark. We don't ever appreciate things enough when we have 'em. 

But, we're inching closer, folks. Hang tight. Couple more storm clouds to navigate, but we're in good shape. Let's roll. 

Welcome to a Hump Day Nightcaps – the one where Anna Paulina Luna calls her shot with Jerome Powell. Our girl is putting her career on the line for us, and we're gonna ride with her till the wheels fall off. 

What else? I've got ‘Catfish Girl’ Hannah Barron reeling in an absolute MONSTER while thirsty Lane Kiffin watches from a distance, some thoughts on the home run derby (I was off yesterday, so you get them today), and the crowd around Arch Manning today (5 career minutes played) was INSANE. 

This kid better be the Second Coming of Jesus Christ. Goodness. 

Grab you a hot dog for National Hot Dog Day, immediately throw it out and grab a burger, and THEN settle in for a Hump Day 'Cap!

Anna Paulina vs. Too Late Jerome, who ya got?!

I believe I made this argument sometime during Fourth of July week, but I'll say it again today … hot dogs are pretty inferior compared to almost everything else on the menu. And I don't even hate hot dogs, but nobody on this planet is choosing a hot dog over a burger. 

That's liberal behavior. You know it, and I know it. 

All that being said, there are a few acceptable hot dog toppings, and only a few. Ketchup, mustard, relish and raw onions. That's it. 

Cheese on a hot dog is disgusting. Chili dogs are a complete waste of time and effort. I think Chicago-style dogs come with those giant ass pickle spears, right? Dumb. Love a good pickle. Don't need it jammed into my hot dog bun (hey now!). 

Anyway, burgers are better, so let's not waste any more time on this. Happy National Hot Dog Day, though!

Let's get class started with MAGA Bikini Congresswoman Anna Paulina Luna putting her ASS on the line with her Jerome Powell news from last night:

Did anyone else despise ESPN's derby coverage?

I know Anna Paulina and MAGA are at a crossroads right now because she voted against the release of the Epstein files. 

Although, if you do an ounce of research, you'll realize that the Dems tried to pull a fast one with that bill and stuff a bunch of BS into it. That way, when Big Rs vote against it, the headline is "Republicans vote no on releasing Epstein files." 

And that's exactly what happened yesterday. 

Anyway, that's just my two cents. I don't want to get involved in the Epstein stuff right now. Or, frankly, ever. Unlike Stephen A., I stay in my lane. And my lane involves MAGA Bikini Congresswoman threatening ‘Too Late Powell.’ 

Lower the rates, you crook!

OK, let's talk some derby … 

I was so disgusted by what I saw on ESPN Monday night. Not the derby itself. I thought it was fine. The format needs tweaking, but, by and large, it was entertaining. 

My issue was with the ESPN broadcast. It was awful. Just awful. All over the place. When I turn on something called a ‘Home Run Derby,’ I'd like to see … home runs. I know, crazy. 

Instead, ESPN couldn't keep up. Or, they refused to keep up. The split-screen was horrible. You never saw a ball land! Half the time, you'd miss the next swing because the camera was focused on a ball just sitting in the outfield. 

Seriously:

That's what ESPN gave us, all night long. My head was spinning. 

Again, I know the format lends itself to this a bit – and that's an MLB problem – but still. It's not like ESPN has never had a derby before! They've had the damn thing for DECADES now. It's a summer staple. You'd think they would've been just a tad more prepared for what was coming. 

Juxtapose that with the #content we got out of the All-Star game and Fox last night, and it's pretty clear why MLB is shopping it's future TV deal.  

I mean, it wasn't even close:

Lane, Arch & Joe's question 

The first two innings last night where the catcher and pitcher were mic'd up was some of the most compelling TV I've watched in a while. Seriously. And I was a catcher for 15 years! 

It wasn't exactly an earth-shattering conversation for me, but I was still enamored by it. 

Now, to be fair, our conversations on the Nation's worst DIII baseball team were a bit different from what these two were discussing, but still. I remember one time I went to the mound after our pitcher had walked the entire ballpark, and we both agreed to start grooving some fastballs just so we could get home in time to properly pregame. 

We lost the game, 24-3. We won the night by a billion. Choose your fighters. 

OK, let's rapid-fire this Hump Day class into a Hump Day night. First up? Let's check in with Arch Manning at SEC Media Days!

Incredible Day 1 look from Arch. No notes. Giant ass tie, coat doesn't quite fit, oversized undershirt, looks like he just rolled out of bed five minutes ago. 

Aura through the roof. I hope the kid does well this year. I really do. Feel like it's been a minute since we had a legit personality in college football. And I ain't talking about Caleb Williams going 5-7 for a USC team that played at 10:30 every Saturday. 

A Manning quarterbacking a championship-contending SEC Texas Longhorns team? It'll be Manziel/Tebow/Burrow/Newton-esque. Need it for the #content game. 

Anyway, while Arch was fielding questions, Lane Kiffin was recruiting:

I know we talked about Hannah a few days ago, but she's since posted some new #content, and I can't get enough. I'm sure I'm late to this party, but I'm all in now. Love this chick. Love that she embraces the #influencer game. Love that Lane Kiffin is still an elite shooter. Love that it all happened during SEC Media Days. 

Incredible. 

OK, while we're on the topic of college football, I'd like to end the day with a question from Screencaps Joe:

It's such a great question, minus the last answer. Nobody is picking a perfect mow, although I appreciate Joe's commitment to the bit. 

Here's my order, without first seeing the results:

1. 14 hours of CFB in October

2. Sex

3. Golf trip

4. Mow 

My reasoning: Sex doesn't even come close to a perfect college football Saturday in October. Just doesn't. A 14-hour day in 50-degree weather watching college football with the smoker going, fire burning, pumpkins being carved and parlays being cooked? That's all the sex I need. 

Looks like I'm in third place right now after clicking on an answer. Sex is No. 1. Figures. 

They zig, we zag. It's why we win awards. 

See you tomorrow. 

OutKick Nightcaps is a daily column set to run Monday through Friday at 4 p.m. (roughly, we’re not robots).

What are you picking? Email me at Zach.Dean@OutKick.com.