MAGA Bikini Congresswoman Loves American Muscle, Caitlin Clark Is Officially A Gaslighter & Woke Rudolph!

I'm still brushing my teeth to wash away the taste from that disgusting football game last night, but other than that – it's a beautiful day!

Friday. A big weekend ahead. Weather is unreal right now. Trump takes over in 38 days. Christmas is less than two weeks away. Libs are unhinged all over the globe. 

What a week. What a day. What a year! Let's end it strong. 

Welcome to a Friday Nightcaps – the one where we battle the rain with Anna Paulina Luna and go from there. 

What else? I've got Caitlin Clark officially being captured by the mob (sad), the best of the rest from a big week of #content, Kristen Saban stops by with a showstopper of a dress and Pornhub's annual Year in Review is OUT and it's a TALKER. 

Shockingly, Hawk Tuah made the cut. Wholesome. 

OK, grab you some Hot Cocoa for National Hot Cocoa Day – and then pour some rum in it like a true Patriot – and then settle in for a Friday 'Cap!

Caitlin Clark has been captured for good, it seems

Hate to start a big Friday with a downer, but I have to be fair. It's not all ham and eggs today. Sad, but true. 

I think it may be time to call it: Caitlin Clark is gone forever. Pull the plug. Check if she's an organ donor. Dust off the will. It's over. 

Again, sad. 

I'll be honest with you, I didn't see this one coming. I really didn't. 

Perhaps I should have, because she's 22 and plays in the WNBA and has a Kamala-voting boyfriend. Bad recipe for sanity, if you ask me. 

But I thought Caitlin was smarter than THAT. I knew the WNBA was dumb, but I thought Caitlin was smart. Again, sad. Foolish on my part, but still sad. 

Anyway, after alienating all her fans earlier this week by invoking the dreaded "white privilege" card, she doubled down in an extended interview by pulling out the tried-and-true "my truth" phrase. 

Unreal. 

Here we were, fat and happy, thinking we won the year. Trump was back in office. Woke was defeated. It was all good. Little did we know that the Dems were secretly targeting Caitlin Clark. And they got her. Reeled her in, threw a net over her, and stuffed her in the cooler. 

"My truth." Yeah, OK. Sure thing, Caitlin. Dunno what happened over the past few months, or who got to you, but it's apparent the transition to full-on Dem is complete. 

Oh well. You live and you learn, I reckon. 

What a week of #content!

Yep. All of that is 1000% true. Frankly, all she's doing is bending the knee to the invisible left and diminishing what she's done over the past few years. 

I don't get it. I truly don't. But, I'm also sane. Caitlin will be, too. Some day. Republicans buy sneakers, too, you know. 

And I'm copyrighting that one!

OK, let's get to the #content I have stored away in my Twitter bookmarks. 

Anna Paulina, Pornhub top searches & Kristen Saban!

Great week! It came fast & furious, as it tends to do this time of year. Couple things …

1. That last one? No harm, no foul. You don't like it, put it up to a vote in the offseason and amend the rule next year if it passes. It's every man for himself in fantasy this time of year. 

I've got one team that finished with the best record in the league and is currently enjoying a first round bye. And I've got another that finished dead last. 

It's the Wild Wild West. 

2. Rex Grossman highlights on a Friday in December? Youuuuuuuuuuu betcha!

Third and 57!!!! God, I miss the Sexy Rexy days at UF. What a time. 

OK, rapid-fire time so we can all gear up for a big Friday night. First up? It wouldn't be a complete week here at Nightcaps without MAGA bikini congresswoman Anna Paulina Luna stopping by. 

And you thought we forgot about her!

That's our girl! Don't love Anna Paulina and Elon bickering, but I do love a woman who loves American muscle. 

AOC would never. Can't wait to see APL on Capitol Hill! 38 days. 

Next? It's been a while, let's check in on Kristen Saban as we near the CFB playoffs:

Well, that's … certainly a dress! Didn't see that one coming from Nick's daughter, but we don't judge around here. Kristen is welcome to class any time, any day of the week. 

PS: can't WAIT to see Nick, on College GameDay, interviewing Bill Belichick on the field before coaching the North Carolina Tar Heels for a 2 p.m. showdown on the CW. 

No shot this thing goes off the rails in Chapel Hill!

Finally, let's see what you weirdos searched on PornHub this calendar year:

Take us home, Meghan Walker!

A lot to break down here. 

- Good to see Hentai and MILF defend their top two spots for the second year in a row. That's called building a dynasty. 

- Massive jump (+15 spots!) for animation, which I don't understand. At the other end of the spectrum, ebony tumbles five spots. I ain't touching that one. 

- Good to see America reeling in expectations, too. "Amateur" jumped 10 spots in this year's rankings. That's called staying in your lane and working with whatcha got. I respect that. 

- Trans up five spots is perfectly on brand for 2024. 

All in all, a solid year for the world when it comes to disgusting habits. Shockingly, ‘Hawk Tuah’ also got a ton of searches. Can't imagine why!

From Pornhub's PR team (what a gig!):

We don’t need to tell you what it means, as you no doubt already know, but searches for spit blew up. The viral sensation resulted in 10 million "hawk tuah" searches on Pornhub.

"Again, this fascination or interest is driven by what is popular in culture." Said Dr. Laurie Betito. "The Hawk Tuah girl viral video showcases an ordinary girl talking about sex. I believe this is the appeal – unfiltered, candid, and spontaneous – in other words: real." 

Yep. Real! Just like her fake coin. 

OK, that's it for today – and this week. See you Monday. 

Take us home, Nebraska track & field star Meghan Walker (see above)!

OutKick Nightcaps is a daily column set to run Monday through Friday at 4 p.m. (roughly, we’re not robots).

You sad about Caitlin Clark, too? Email me at Zach.Dean@OutKick.com.