LPGA No. 1 Nelly Korda Swims Ashore In A Bikini, RFK Jr. Dismantles Purple-Haired Lib & CNN's Insane Headline
Happy Hump D –
Wait. Forget it. Yes, today is Hump Day, and we celebrate that accordingly around here. But it's not the thing that has me all revved up today. Let's try it again.
Happy NFL Schedule Release Day to all who celebrate! That's right. One of the most UNDERRATED days of the year. I said it. I know Amber tried to brainwash everyone yesterday with some pretty disgusting remarks, and that's fine. It was her class, and her right. It's why I love this country.
But I'm back today, and I won't tolerate that shit for one single second. This is a great day. One of the sneakier days on the sports calendar. I LOVE scrolling Twitter all day just searching for the latest schedule leak. You never know if they're right or not, but it's a wild little ride regardless.
At one point today, my (and Amber's!) Dolphins were playing five primetime games this year. FIVE! Do you understand how bad the Dolphins are in primetime? That just can't be true. God, please don't be true.
Anyway, we're humping and leaking all damn day, and I love it. Let's roll.
Welcome to a Hump Day Nightcaps – the one where we welcome LPGA No. 1 Nelly Korda back to class in a variety of SI swimsuits. What a day for the SI Swimsuiters yesterday! Credit where it's due – they nailed it this year.
What else? I've got RFK Jr. versus the purple-haired Lib from Connecticut, another insufferable congresswoman falling asleep on the job, and inmate Scottie Scheffler returning to his old stomping grounds with a bit of nostalgia attached to his chest.
Love this move. Love this tourney. Love Quail Hollow. Let's roll.
Grab you something with enough alcohol in it to get you to a big Hump Night, and settle in for a mid-week 'Cap!
The Dems are extra insufferable this week
Well, we have plenty of swimsuit #content to get to, but, sadly, we have to start with the nutbags on the left. I know. I'm sorry. I don't want to. I don't love doing this. But, if we let these wackos have an inch – one inch! – they'll take a mile. And I won't stand for it.
I don't even know which lunatic to start with, to be honest. Let's just dive in and quickly mock these weirdos so we can move on.
First up? How about this 71-year-old Michigan congresswoman who fell asleep at the wheel yesterday while fighting for her great constituents?
Welcome to class, Debbie Dingell! Sweet dreams! Glad to see you Dems are out there on the streets, fighting for Americans!
Meanwhile, Trump spent yesterday test-flying new 747s and securing half-a-trillion in new investments. Can't believe he won the election last year!
Next? Is this the most lopsided battle in the history of politics?
Look, once you get past RFK's voice – and I ain't immune to it – you really do see how batshit crazy these people are. The purple-haired chick from Connecticut is truly unhinged.
Remember, Dems will fight us on everything. It doesn't matter the subject. If Trump in any way had his hands on it – like making kids less fat – it's a no-no in their book. This is the world we live in.
Get 'em, Bobby!
Finally, let's check in with the totally sane editors over at CNN to see how they're handling all the good news coming out of Trump 2.0 lately:
Who's pumped for Thanksgiving?!
I know what you're thinking – that HAS to be fake, right? Wrong! I checked. I Googled it. It's real. It's an actual article from CNN.
Let's dive in … actually no. Let's not. I dove in, so you don't have to. The first 700 words talk about how Trump was wrong and lying about egg prices the whole time. But, of course, CNN sneaks this line in right at the end to completely blow up their entire argument:
It appears as though Trump may have been talking about wholesale prices, which had been tumbling throughout March before normalizing in recent weeks. Nevertheless, wholesale prices fell by half – not close to the 90%+ figures Trump was citing.
Yeah, OK, CNN! Whatever helps you sleep at night. Cherry-pick whatever stats you want. Virtue-signal till the cows come home. We don't care. Once again, you look like idiots. No amount of headline grifting will change that.
Whew. What a way to start Hump Day! Way too much complaining to start the evening. Let's get back to some good news as we barrel towards a rapid-fire conclusion …
Nelly, Livvy, Scottie and Russ, oh my!
So, it's a good game, obviously. The NFL took the layup here and went with the matchup that will, most likely, generate the biggest ratings in history.
Sure, I wish it was on Fox, but whatever. CBS got it.
But, how do we all feel about having the Chiefs shoved down our throats AGAIN? Even worse, we get Pat Mahomes, Travis Kelce, the Cowboys AND … Tony Romo. My God. Tony Romo!
Does Jim Nantz even bother showing up for this one? Tony's gonna be so horned up for this one, Jimbo may never get a word in. I'm serious. And now we all get to witness it together, as we stuff our fat faces with mamaw's sweet potato casserole.
Can't wait.
Yeah. Can't wait!
OK, let's rapid-fire this bad boy into a Hump Day night. First up? Might as well stick in the NFL while we're on the subject of insufferable football people …
I mean … no notes. Nothing. Perfection. It's just so perfect. Vintage Mr. Unlimited.
Russ rocking game pants in May is the least surprising thing I've ever seen. He's just such a dork. This guy is the worst.
I used to love Russell Wilson back in the day. I really did. But ever since he stopped being good at football, and instead became the corniest dude in the league, I have no tolerance for him anymore.
The Mr. Unlimited stuff, which, admittedly, is funny, really set me off. Then it was the Subway commercial that was so bad it nearly tanked the franchise.
Then the airplane aerobics. Then the "Let's ride" crap. The ridiculous press conferences in Denver. The fact that he had his own parking space AND office.
And now, he's wearing game pants in May. What a QB room, by the way! Jameis, Russ, Tommy DeVito, for some reason, and Jaxson Dart.
Incredible possibilities here. I can't wait.
Amazing. What a time to be alive.
While Russ has gotten worse as time's gone on, Scottie Scheffler has aged like fine wine:
Incredible. Can't believe it's been nearly a full year since this special, special moment. Sure, some could say Scottie's just showing some love to his college, the University of Texas, but I choose to believe he's remembering where he truly came from.
The clink. That's my guy this weekend. I feel it in my bones. Been too long since Scottie won a major (not really). That changes Sunday. Let's roll.
OK, that's it for today. Big day for us, and a big week for the SI Swimsuit chicks – including LPGA No. 1 and, of course, Livvy.
Let's have a big Hump Day night.
See you tomorrow.
OutKick Nightcaps is a daily column set to run Monday through Friday at 4 p.m. (roughly, we’re not robots).
You excited for Tony and Pat? Email me at Zach.Dean@OutKick.com.