Lindsay Lohan Still Has Her Fastball, Amanda Bynes Doesn't And The Picture Is Damning & Gracie Hunt Red Friday
Well, I'm 0 for 1 on NFL betting this season. Great. What a way to start! Off to the races, baby.
I mean, I didn't think I could hate the Patriots any more than I already do as a Dolphins fan. Didn't think it was possible. In fact, now that they STINK, I sort of stopped caring about them.
But then, Jerod Mayo decided to give Bailey Zappe 60 snaps last night, while leaving Bazooka Joe Milton on the bench until the fourth quarter. Huh? WHY?
Obviously, I had a Joe Milton prop bet cooking. Over 60.5 passing yards. I thought it would be free money. The guy was gonna play at least two quarters, if not more, and he'd be able to eat against future insurance salesmen on defense.
And I was half-right. He did eat. Cooked, actually. Threw for 54 yards in two drives. Except … that was it. Done. The final drive? Three kneel-downs. Game over.
I can't believe I spent an entire Thursday night watching Bailey Zappe. Torture. Patriots fans must be just furious today. I can't imagine rooting for a more unlikable team, unless you're a Bills fan, of course.
Oh well. We live and we learn. And, of course, we bet again tonight! Let's ride.
On that note, welcome to a Friday Nightcaps – where we check in with a couple of childhood stars who appear to be headed in opposite directions. Welcome back to class, Lindsay Lohan! It's been a minute.
What else? I've got another Kamala Harris accent change to pander to voters, I actually like the new ESPN college football song – a lot of you don't, apparently – and how about this Alyssa Milano? She's BACK in the news for maybe the dumbest comment ever, which is saying a lot, considering she's the worst.
What a Friday slate! We ain't mailing it in today. No sir. I'm grinding my tuchus off for you fine people!
Grab you something tall & strong and settle in for a Friday 'Cap!
Let's do one more Olympics content dump before we leave Paris for good
This is the final class before the Olympics ends, so we might as well strike one more time while the iron's hot.
Are y'all ready for them to be done? I am. I feel like we've talked about the Olympics for weeks now. To be fair, these games have delivered more than any other in recent memory.
The content has been solid, from kinda-sorta female boxers, to Luana Alonso getting banned from the Village, to dudes with giant hogs missing out on gold.
Tough to complain, but it's probably time to be done. It feels like two weeks is plenty, and we're all sort of burnt out at this point. I see the page views, so I know.
But, I'd be remiss if I didn't at least do one last content dump from Paris on the way back to the states. We'll start with Aussie Olympic diver Alysha Koloi and go from there. Deal?
Deal!
Lindsay Lohan and Amanda Bynes are headed in two different directions
That last one is just heartbreaking. From the Daily Mail:
The potential for Paris to truly be the city of love during the Olympics has ended as two of the athletes revealed their break-up.
Footballer Lea Schuller and sailor Lara Vadlau were in a relationship going into the Games, regularly speaking about their love and sharing snaps of their lives together on social media.
They had hoped to be able to spend some time together in the French capital, but things appear to have gone south quickly, so south that the relationship is now no more.
Speaking to O3, Vadlau revealed the end of the relationship, but insisted the duo remain on good terms.
"Lea is no longer my partner," she said. "Of course I am very proud of her and we are still very good friends and I am keeping my fingers crossed for her."
The Olympics giveth, and the Olympics taketh away. A tale as old as time. You enter the Village as a couple, and then quickly see all the animal sex (allegedly) going on inside those walls, and temptation and lust ultimately win the day.
It's sort of like college. Going into college in a relationship is the biggest waste of time. It never works. It never holds up.
You may eventually get back together – the First Lady and I did – but you will inevitably break up for a bit. It's science.
Speaking of science … it's been good to Lindsay Lohan over the years. It has NOT, however, been as kind to Amanda Bynes.
Both these childhood heartthrobs went viral on Twitter this week after being spotted out in the wild, and it's clear they're headed in very different directions. Sad.
Kamala Harris' new voice, I like the new ESPN college football song & Alyssa Milano is back to trending
Goodness gracious me. What a fall. It's insane. Lindsay Lohan battled through the tough times and came out the other side better than ever.
Amanda Bynes … ain't there yet. Clearly. It's jarring to see, especially for someone who grew up with All That, The Amanda Show, She's The Man and, of course, Big Fat Liar.
Big Fat Liar? Underrated movie. Maybe one of the most underrated movies of our lifetime. Paul Giamatti, Amandya Bynes and current NASCAR racer Frankie Muniz? I mean, come on!
If you haven't seen it, you are WELCOME for a great Friday night plan! Watch a quarter of preseason action until all the starters get yanked, then fire up Big Fat Liar and appreciate Amanda Bynes for what she was.
OK, rapid-fire time as we barrel towards a big weekend. First up? Kamala changed her voice again!
Could you imagine, just for a second, if a certain old guy with orange hair and mean tweets changed his accent based on who he was talking to? Oh my God. The lefties would lose their minds. Collectively, they'd just explode. It would be chaos.
But it's OK when Kamala Harris does it. Gotcha. 10-4!
Next? Some of you hate the new ESPN college football anthem, which features the country donut dude. I actually don't mind it:
I don't see the problem? I think it's pretty good, actually. I feel like this is just your classic case of people hating just to hate, which is pretty typical for society in 2024. I'm guilty of it, too, so I'm not judging. But this one feels a little forced.
It's fine. It's college football. Let's move on and just be happy it's almost back. 15 days, folks. I'm telling you – get your affairs in order this weekend and next. Trust me.
Finally … let's check in with scumbag Alyssa Milano on The View on the way out, just in case y'all weren't already annoyed enough today:
Gracie Hunt debuts her first Red Friday of the year!
That's an old clip, but it's going viral today for obvious reasons, so it's my obligation to share it. Sorry, those are the rules.
Insufferable Hollywood elite who begged for money last year tells Elon Musk how to spend his money.
What a way to start the weekend!
For the love of God, take us home, Gracie Hunt. Welcome back, NFL.
See you Monday.
OutKick Nightcaps is a daily column set to run Monday through Friday at 4 p.m. (roughly, we’re not robots).
You ever seen Big Fat Liar? Email me at Zach.Dean@OutKick.com.