Lily-Rose Depp And ‘The Idol’ Gets Canned, Kyrie Irving Switches Sports, Happy Gilmore Heads To College, Kenny Pickett Ties The Knot And Myles Garrett Bull Rushes Camper

Happy National Insurance and National Paul Bunyan Day to those who observe. In between changing your beneficiaries and dusting off your sleeveless flannel, I hope you'll find time to check in with Lily-Rose Depp. Yep, that's Johnny's daughter. And unlike her ex-stepmom Amber Heard, she uses the bed more for on-screen romps than she does a toilet.

But we'll circle around that bowl later. We'll also throw an axe (remember, it's National Paul Bunyan Day) at college football's strangest trophy, check in on Kyrie Irving's summer career change, introduce you to Mrs. Kenny Pickett and keep it in the AFC North by getting the hell out of Myles Garrett's way.

Are You Watching HBO's "The Idol"?

Ok, no use burying the lead. We've gotta talk Lily-Rose Depp in HBO's newish, super-strange, often-awkward, nudity-filled series "The Idol." The summer series stars Depp and is likely the only place where men head south more frequently than Top 100 football recruits.

Of her oft-nude role, Depp stated in part: "...when it comes to the nudity and the risqué nature of the role, that to me was really intentional. That was really important to me and something that I was excited about doing. I’m not scared of it. I think we live in a highly sexualized world. I think that’s an interesting thing to explore."

Lily-Rose Depp often bares it all, or almost all, in HBO's "The Idol." (Photo by Stephane Cardinale - Corbis/Corbis via Getty Images).

The Idol's been a lightning rod for controversy, mainly because snowflakes aren't down with freeing the nipple unless it coincides with grown men freeing their nuggets. Anyways, it's been so controversial that HBO (or is it Max, or is it HBOMax, or is it...) has already canceled the series. The show's fifth and final episode airs Sunday.

Personally, I've watched all four episodes that have aired. I can't tell if the show is any good, or if I'm just watching because there's no sports on (sorry MLB, there's still like 100 more games to go before it gets interesting) and I have no interest in watching America's Got Talent - which seems to be the only other thing on TV. What I can tell you is that the daughter of Johnny Depp and Vanessa Paradis is a damn good actress and from the looks of things, she's going to be around for a while.

Kyrie Irving Briefly Changes Careers

Speaking of making people feel awkward, current NBA free agent Kyrie Irving has been dumping on the title hopes of franchises for the better half of the last decade. Turns out, Mr. Flat Earth himself might actually be a better football player than he is a hooper or movie reviewer.

Earlier this week, video surfaced of Irving running routes and catching passes on a football field. And, honestly, he looked good doing so. He's listed at 6'2 and a shade under 200 lbs. That's NFL WR size and you can bet he's dramatic enough to fill the void of any team seeking a diva to complete their offense.

Has there ever been a more perfect person to run a flat route?

He'll Want To Avoid Myles Garrett

In the event Irving changes careers (I mean, would it really surprise anyone if he actually did?), he'll want to steer clear of Browns defensive end Myles Garrett. As OutKick's Grayson Weir noted this morning, Tuesday marked the start of Garrett's two-day youth football camp and one attendee learned the hard way that Garrett doesn't really have an off switch.

Kid didn't stand a chance. Not with that piss-poor pass block technique. He's got a lot of weight on that front foot, he's off balance, the hand punch is lacking and I'd even suggest he tipped the snap count. Hopefully his quarterback - who's slow release wasn't doing anyone any favors - takes advantage of National Insurance Day and gets himself some coverage before the games start for real.

And by the way, this has shades of Peyton Manning on SNL written all over it. Remember that classic? Sure ya do.

Happy Gilmore Is Heading To College

Speaking of SNL (cast members)...

Hype the crowd and ready the Subway sponsorship, Happy Gilmore’s headed to a college fairway near you. Yep, Happy’s doing something Shooter McGavin could only dream of – he’s committed to study and play golf in college, at Ball State University. To be fair, Shooter probably went to some a—hole college like Dartmouth or Penn or maybe even did something super pretentious like studied abroad. But that’s for someone else to write. 17-year-old Landon “Happy” Gilmore, who’ll be a senior at Indiana’s Bloomington South High in the fall, received a famous shoutout after announcing his commitment to the Cardinals.

His namesake, Adam Sandler, took to Twitter to send Happy encouragement, tweeting in part: “Pulling for you.”

Cool stuff. And here’s hoping, for Happy’s sake, the BSU dining hall has better breakfast options than what Shooter chows down on. Remember, he eats pieces of shit like you for breakfast.

Kenny Pickett Takes The Plunge

If you didn't hear, Steelers second year QB Kenny Pickett got married over the weekend. He and longtime girlfriend Amy Paternoster tied the knot. If you're like me, you had no idea who Paternoster was.

Until now! See - this is why they pay me the average-sized bucks. I've done my Mrs. Pickett research and can tell you that she grew up in the same New Jersey town as Kenny Pickett. And like her man, Paternoster was a top tier athlete. In high school she was named Gatorade's New Jersey Girls Soccer Player of the Year. She played collegiately at Princeton and was named academic All-Ivy League. So yeah, she can ball a little bit.

And unlike Shooter McGavin, she hasn't announced her breakfast of choice. But from the looks of her Instagram, I'm guessing there weren't many carbs involved. But fear not carb lovers, I've eaten more than enough for both of us. So relax and enjoy the Mrs.Pickett photo dump.

What The Hell Is The Paul Bunyan Trophy?

Kenny Pickett's got himself a trophy wife, but had he gone to Michigan or Michigan State instead of Pitt, he'd have had the opportunity to snag a trophy much sooner. Though, the Paul Bunyan Trophy doesn't look nearly as good in a bathing suit.

Let me explain.

Since it's Paul's day and all, I figured I'd remind or inform everyone that Michigan's two most prominent football teams compete each year for the four-foot-tall Paul Bunyan - Governor of Michigan trophy.

Rivaltrophy.com describes the trophy, awarded to the game's winner since the mid-'40s as such:

The Paul Bunyan Governor’s Trophy was first presented by then-Governor (and Michigan alum) G. Mennen Williams in 1953 as a means of welcoming Michigan State to the Big Ten Conference. Deemed by many a political publicity stunt, the trophy traveled between Ann Arbor and East Lansing to little fanfare for a few years. However lengthy winning streaks by each school over the years have given Paul a much higher profile. Big Ten pride and tradition are evident today, as winning Spartans or Wolverines are quick to grab Mr. Bunyan and take him home once the clock hits 0:00.

The trophy itself was created to represent Michigan's prominence as a major lumber-producing state. Ot at least that's what Wikipedia tells me. In any event, it has to be one of the strangest trophies in sports. No one's drinking out of Paul Bunyan following a win...right?

They love their lumberjacks and the Paul Bunyan trophy in Michigan. (Photo by Gregory Shamus/Getty Images).

Have a stranger trophy than PB? Let me know about it: anthony.farris@outkick.com or on Twitter, @OhioAF.

Man Burns Penis In Attempt To Become A Woman

How's that for a headline - or subheader for all you journalism nerds? Yep, as weird as the Paul Bunyan Trophy may look, I bet no one would be willing to burn it in order to remove its existence. But, that's what an Australian man did to his penis so it could be removed and he could be a woman.

The New York Post reports that a 57-year-old biological male aspired to be a woman and hated their own Paul Bunyan Jr. so much that they purposely burned it with chemicals so it would be axed off their body.

Per my Nightcaps brethren, Zach Dean and the Post, which cited a medical journal publishing from Urology Case Reports: “We present a case of self-inflicted chemical penile burn requiring emergency penectomy in a trans-feminine patient.” The person, who identifies as trans, had their penis amputated during a surgery that followed the burns.

Ouch.

Ketchup Mystery Solved

Since we're now talking weiners, let's get to the bottom of an apparent ketchup mystery. Unbeknownst to me, there's long been a debate about where to store one's ketchup. I've never lived in a home that didn't store ketchup in the fridge. I assumed this was standard procedure. It's not.

Apparently some physcos out there are keeping the red stuff in their cupboards.

Fortunately, Heinz UK settled the debate, confirming on Twitter that it's meant for the fridge.

Oddly enough, just under 46% of people voting on Heinz's poll admitted to being weirdos and keeping their ketchup in the cupboard.

Some people just can't have nice things.

The Daily Mail doubled down on the ketchup-belongs-in-the-fridge stance this morning, publishing comments from Heinz Tomato Ketchup's Olivia Lennon, as told to FEMAIL:

'There was only ever one correct answer, and we're happy to share with Heinz Tomato Ketchup lovers across the UK that our ketchup has to be in the fridge." And later added: "Although we're aware many Heinz Tomato Ketchup fans have been storing their ketchup in the cupboard, we do recommend refrigeration after opening. 

"This is the best way to maintain the delicious tangy taste of our Heinz Tomato Ketchup that you know and love."

Time For Us To Celebrate

Ok, I've kept you long enough. There's clearly toasts to be made and champagne to be popped for another successful pairing of National Insurance Day and National Paul Bunyan Day. We'll do this again next Wednesday. Until then, enjoy the hors d'oeuvres.

*OutKick’s Nightcaps is a daily column that runs weekdays around 4pm EST.

Follow along on Twitter: @OhioAF