Lil Wayne Raps For Skip Bayless, Martha Stewart Creates Iceberg Shortage, Curt Schilling Talks S’mores And A Lacrosse Ref Goes Off

Happy National Toasted Marshmallow Day!

I know it feels like just last month we were celebrating 1/3rd of a s'mores, but believe it or not, that was last Aug. 30. Alas, here we are, ready to get sticky. We'll do so with the help of Martha Stewart's iceberg, Lil Wayne's pipes, Curt Schilling's memories and a toasty appearance from track and field's Dovile Kilty.

Sounds tasty for a Wednesday, right?

But first, we need to pay homage to the most famous toasted 'mallows to grace the big screen. Those, of course, are the s'mores that occupied the bellies of Hamilton "Ham" Porter in The Sandlot, and later, Scotty Smalls. The best catcher never to make the majors accurately described the snack in a Shakespearean way:

"Okay, pay attention. First you take the graham. You stick the chocolate on the graham. Then, you roast the 'mallow. When the 'mallow's flaming, you stick it on the chocolate. Then you cover it with the other end. Then, you stuff."

Not even MapQuest could provide such accurate directions.

I was going to include video of that iconic scene here, but YouTube disables sharing of the great Hambino's legendary line. Shame on them. That's no way to act on National Toasted Marshmallow days.

Have some couth, will ya!

Curt Schilling Gives Us Some More S'mores Information

One guy who is treating the day with the respect it deserves is former big leaguer Curt Schilling. The former Ace and current host of The Curt Schilling Baseball Show on OutKick had no problem heaping praise upon both The Sandlot and it's iconic s'mores scene.

Schilling has some good and not so good memories that relate to the movie. Specifically, the time frame (1993) of its release:

"It's a milepost for me because it came out unfortunately the year (Toronto Blue Jays') Joe Carter walked us off in the World Series (when Curt played with Philadelphia)," Schilling shared amongst OutKick. "The proverbial 'dog ate our ball' end of the season.

"...It was just such a pure movie. It resonated with me because it was portraying a generation of kids that grew up like I did, playing baseball anywhere and everywhere you could. And that's always stuck with me as one of those original movies. I look at The Sandlot in some ways I look at Bull Durham in that it's real - the story was real. And there are some touch points in it that I can identify with so I've always loved it."

Though Schilling, like just about everyone, is a fan of s'mores, he wouldn't dare mention the word in Philly. And for good reason.

When asked if just maybe a s'mores would've once or twice made its way into the Phillies clubhouse postgame, Curt wasted little time dismissing the thought of chocolate, toasted marshmallow and graham crackers appearing.

"You gotta remember, in 1993 (when The Sandlot premiered) I was playing on a team that had part of their locker room called 'Macho Row,'" Schilling reminded OutKick. "So no, s'mores never showed up in any capacity and the word was never even mentioned in the clubhouse in Philadelphia. Because that would've probably gotten your ass kicked."

Keep that in mind kids. If you ever make your way into the Phillies locker room and prefer to leave without having had your ass kicked, nix the s'mores talk.

MLB's Tanner Houck Shows Off Unique Chain

From a former Red Sox pitcher to a current Boston hurler we go.

I know football is inching closer by the day, but since we're talking s'mores and baseball and the Yankees suck (actually, the Yankees have nothing to do with this, but how could I not point out that the New York Yankees suck?), let's check in on BoSox pitcher Tanner Houck's rather unique sense of fashion.

Houck, who suffered a facial fracture after being with a comebacker in June, is back pitching for the Sox again. And earlier this week he showed off his new necklace that ensures he won't soon forget the facial fracture (as if one would forget a facial fracture...).

The 27-year-old righty now has a 3D mold of his fracture hanging from a chain.

Martha Stewart Gets Chilly Reception After Iceberg Photo

Swimsuit model Martha Stewart chapped some asses earlier this after showing off a small iceberg she's using to chill drinks while on a cruise from Iceland to Greenland. Yes, apparently insanely rich people use actual icebergs to keep their Manhattans bone chillingly cold.

When Martha Stewart isn't posing for the Sports Illustrated Swimsuit Issue she's apparently snagging icebergs. (Photo by Noam Galai/Getty Images for Sports Illustrated Swimsuit).

Anyways, Stewart shared an image to her Instagram of the 'berg she and her boatmates are using for their drinks along with the caption: "We actually captured a small iceberg for our cocktails tonight."

Well, to iceberg perservists out there (that's apparently a thing) that is like wearing fur in front of PETA members. They were not happy with the 82-year-old ex-con.

Swipe right on the picture above. Not to show Ms. Stewart you're interested, but to see the iceberg.

Replies to Stewart's photo unveiled just how many weirdos there are out there who have nothing better to do than complain about Martha's chunk of ice.

"...wealthy white people drinking their iceberg cocktails while the planet is in flames is a bit tone deaf," said one social media user.

"Babe we kinda need to keep that ice in the ocean," squaked another.

A woman named Debby (Downer?) chimed in: "You should have left the ice right where it was. You have heard of global warming haven't you."

Relax people. My kids' bookbags are larger than that "iceberg."

Lil Wayne Teams With Skip Bayless

From cold takes to hot takes we go courtesy of my Fox brethren Skip Bayless and his buddy Lil Wayne. The legendary hip-hop artist, who's friends with Bayless, recorded the new intro for Undisputed on FS1. And, admittedly, it's not bad.

I'll stop short of calling it "fire," because I'm 40.

The intro is titled "Good Morning" and was written and recorded by Lil Wayne. The song wastes little time aptly describing the show and it's host: "Skip - the B.S.," sings the rapper in the song's second line. Later, he opts for "all I spit is F-A-C-T-S."

Not gonna lie, I didn't see this collab coming, but it's definitely better than the fumble that surrounds ESPN's College GameDay '23 season.

Dovile Kilty Makes Her 'Caps Debut

Now that we've talked Lil Wayne dropping bars, let's prepare accordingly with a nice stretch and maybe even a foam roller, and discuss someone jumping over bars - Dovile Kilty. The Lithuanian track and field athlete has somehow avoided the pages of Nightcaps...until today. And she's keeping National Toasted Marshmallow Day plenty warm.

Dovile is a 30-year-old long and triple jumper who previously won a Silver medal at the 2012 Junior World Championships. She's also now been given a key to Nightcaps and is free to stop by anytime she so chooses.

Mic'd Up Ref Owns Lacrosse Player

A smooth transition from a track and field athlete who looks terrific in a swimsuit to a zebra barking at a lacrosse player doesn't exist. So I'm going to keep things bumpy and take a sharp left turn into the world of professional lacrosse.

Over the weekend, two Premier Lacrosse League teams went at it and one particular player from the Waterdogs was accused by an official, very matter-of-factly, of being "a bitch again."

This went down after the player was called for a penalty for "delivering a blow," and the official cautioned the complaining player of his actions. In addition to asking the player why he was being such a bitch, the official also managed to work in an F-bomb.

See for yourselves...

Love the energy. Love the passion. This might actually make me watch lacrosse. Alright, I'm definitely not spending my weekend watching pro lacrosse on TV, but I'm all for having these clips appear across my social feeds.

Saved By The Bell Hits TikTok

Now that the whistles and bitches are out of the way (should've had Ludacris deliver that line), let's talk bells. If you've learned anything from Wednesday editions of Nightcaps, it's that I love me some Saved by the Bell. I mean, it's actually Tiffani Thiessen aka "Kelly Kapowski," who most has my attention, but I'm good with just about anyone who dined at The Max.

Well, Kelly and AC got together to drop a TikTok video along with the Wheatus song "Teenage Dirtbag" playing overtop. For some reason the song is sped up. Maybe it's a TikTok trend. No idea. I'm too old for that stuff. Give me a polaroid camera and Napster and I'll be on my way.

Regardless, we've got two cast members from SBTB and Teenage Dirtbag all within 18 seconds. Personally, I can't think of a more enjoyable way to spend less than 20 seconds. Well, I mean, I can - but let's keep it PG-13 around here. At least until Martha arrives with her iceberg drinks.

Wait, Are NFL Punters Now Cool?

Slater was a quarterback for Bayside (number 6, look it up), but maybe if he were a punter he'd have more dating options than Jessie Spano. I mean, does a QB, or any player, really need to bogged down by a caffeine pill-addicted coed who's a clear head case? No. Of course not. Especially with Valley still on the schedule.

Alright, where were we? Oh, punters. That's right. I don't know, maybe it's the Pat McAfee affect, but punters might be cool now. And rightfully so. For years they were unfairly lumped in with kickers. Yes - they're different. Mainly because the vast majority of punters don't feel the need to wear a dumb facemask like kickers do (vision, shmision). And there's something cool about booming a "piss missile" as McAfee likes to call it.

A scroll through X last night showed me that, at least aesthetically, punters are definitely veering towards cool. They're now wearing visors and rocking arm sleeves. This is the energy that's been lacking in the punting community.

Lou Hedley appears capable of leading the change towards punters being cool. (Photo by John McCoy/Getty Images).

That Was Fun, Right?

I've left no stone or iceberg unturned today so it's time for me to order up a Max burger and petition my fantasy league to add punters to the roster. We'll do this again next week. In the meantime, enjoy the crumbs.

*Nightcaps publishes at roughly 4pm Monday through Friday.

**If you have more asthleticially pleasing punters for me to look at or want to complain about icebergs, email me: anthony.farris@outkick.com or follow along on X: @OhioAF