Let's Right The Wrongs Of The Latest 'Best Fast Food' List

Sometimes there are wrongs that need to be righted, and I along with OutKick'sown Mike "Gunz" Gunzelman saw an egregious wrong: a recent ranking of America's favorite fast food joints.

Sure, that's subjective, but I think we can all agree that the list that USA Today published recently (and blamed on the American voting public) is just all kinds of wrong.

• 10). Arby’s
• 9). Zaxby’s
• 8). Popeyes
• 7). Taco Bell
• 6). Captain D’s
• 5). Hardee’s
• 4). In-N-Out Burger
• 3). Chick-Fil-A
• 2). KFC
• 1). Del Taco

…what?!

Look, Del Taco is fine, but I would wager that the majority of the US population hasn't even seen one in the wild let alone eaten at one.

The same goes for Captain D's, and as for Zaxby's? It's alright, but it's not even the best chicken tender-slangin' restaurant out there (we'll get to what is).

Gunz and I were equally startled and appalled by this list, so we hopped on a Zoom call to come up with a better list than whatever this one was supposed to be.

Gunz’s No. 5: Chipotle

Gunz got us started with Chipotle, and already, our list is better than the USA Today list.

Yeah, it’s fast-casual, but it’s still fast so it fits.

I love a Chipotle bowl and it’s one of those things that if I think to myself, "Damn, I could go for some Chipotle," nothing else will cut the proverbial mustard. 

It can be controversial, but the consistency is pretty good and that’s big in the fast food world. You want to be able to walk into any location in the world and know what you’re getting.

Matt’s No. 5: Jersey Mike’s

I thought it was only right that we get a little bit of sub sammich representation on this list, and as far as fast food sub spots, I don’t think you can do better than Jersey Mike’s.

You get a nice Italian sub done up Mike’s way, a cheesesteak straight off the griddle, or whatever combination of meat, cheese, and bread makes you happy, and you won’t be disappointed.

I have a love-hate relationship with the slicer though. I love that the meat is as fresh as lunch meats can be, but man, can that really slow things down. If you’re tight on time, Jersey Mike’s may not be the move.

But hey, sometimes deliciousness comes at a price…
 

Gunz’s No. 4: White Castle

At No. 4 on Gunz’s list, we've got White Castle. 

I mean, anytime you can order a place’s grub in a suitcase, color me intrigued.

White Castle was smart for pretty much cornering the fast food slider market, and you can't go wrong with those delicious caramelized onions.

The only thing I would note is that White Castle can fall victim to one of the fundamental flaws of the slider which is that it takes the same amount of time to prepare as a normal-sized burger.

Thus, for each order, they have to slap together four burgers which can make it a little less fast than you may have hoped, but in my experience, it's usually worth the wait.

Matt’s No. 4: Wendy’s

Wendy’s is one of the big dogs in the fast food world and the fact that it got snubbed by USA Today’s list is one of the main reasons we’re doing this.

What. A. Travesty.

I love a Wendy’s burger, they’ve got the best nuggets in the game, and I even love that simple crispy chicken sandwich that comes with mayo and a leaf of iceberg.

But in my humble opinion, Wendy’s really starts to shine right after the sun does…

I’m amazed how many people aren’t hip to this, but Wendy’s is absolutely crushing the breakfast game.

The sandwiches are top-notch, but it’s some of the side acts that are usually forgotten that really bring it. The potato wedges are transcendent, and the cold-brew coffee is fantastic. I take mine black, but they’ll even dump some frosty in it if you’re a child into that.
 

Gunz’s No. 3: Taco Bell

We've got Taco Bell cracking the podium on Gunz's list, and I'm happy to see that. The sheer number of permutations they've come up with for combining meat, cheese, and tortillas is pretty stunning.

I mean, we've reached the point where they go, "I guess we could throw a giant Cheez-It in there," but hey, it's still delicious.

Taco Bell is another one of those places that can have a tractor-beam-like pull on you. If you decide you're in the mood for a crunch wrap and a Baja Blast, nothing else will suffice; not even real-deal Mexican food.

A very solid No. 3, without a doubt.

Matt’s No. 3: Shake Shack

If you can get past the slight air of pretentiousness and social issue grandstanding (the location near where I live has tables that tell you where the tree it was made out of came from. I have no clue what I’m supposed to do with that info. This table in Florida came from Ohio wood… sweet) Shake Shack makes one hell of a burger.

They’re in the smashburger family and if you go with the standard cheese, lettuce, tomato, and Shack sauce but add some onions and some pickles, it tastes like a burger you’d have at the greatest diner in your hometown.

They’ve also got a strong fry game with some crinkle-cut action (this and my next two picks all go the crinkle route. I might be a crinkle guy) and if you get them with their cheese sauce, they’re phenomenal.

As the name implies, the shakes are phenomenal as are the specialty beverages. I love me a 50/50 which is half tea and half lemonade.

Yeah, I call that an Arnold Palmer too, but I can understand why Shake Shack would want to steer clear of infringing on that trademark.

Gunz’s No. 2: Chick-fil-A

I love this pick. 

I've had days where I pulled into Chick-fil-A when I was feeling down just to get a couple of "My pleasures" from the crack staff of red shirts manning the drive-thru. What a day brightener.

The sandwiches are top-notch, the waffle fries are dynamite, and, as Gunz said, the sauce is "pretty damn ballin'."

I couldn't agree more about the sauce. I keep a bottle of it in my fridge. 

Do realize what a generational talent you need to be to become a stalwart in my condiment line-up? It's rare, and Chick-fil-A has two entries on that list because I also keep the creamy salsa dressing on hand (delicious in a breakfast burrito).

Gunz mentioned that he went back and forth between this and his ultimate No. 1 pick, and I believe it. Chick-fil-A brings it.

Matt’s No. 2: Huey Magoo’s

I know we ragged on the original list for some off-the-board picks, but I had one of my own: Huey Magoo’s

What is Huey Magoo’s, Matt? Quit being so fast food hipster douche.

That’s fair, but I’ll answer that question with a question of my own: Are you familiar with Raising Cane’s?

Chicken tenders, crinkle-cut fries, Texas toast, and an otherworldly sauce?

Yeah, Huey Magoo’s is just like that, but better.

Huey’s started in the Orlando, Florida area, and I probably consumed my weight in tenders while chasing an illustrious degree in Radio/Television at UCF. They’ve since expanded into other states, mostly in the southeast, but they’ve got a footprint even in Ohio, Kentucky, and Las Vegas.

Do yourself a favor, and if given half a chance, score yourself some Huey’s then send me a message of apology about how wrong you were to dismiss this No. 2 pick and how right and also very handsome I am.

Gunz’s No. 1: Wendy’s

We already talked Wendy's and while I had it lower on my list, I think it's a perfectly acceptable No. 1.

Great burgers, strong fries, and that breakfast game? Elite.

A deserved top spot, without a doubt.

I will say, I would've probably scored Wendy's just a touch higher if they still had the yellow napkins. Those were such killer napkins that I remember them probably 15 years after the last one wiped ketchup from the corner of someone's face.

Still a fantastic fast food spot even without the yellow napkins.

Matt’s No. 1: Portillo’s

The hipster fast food guy strikes again…

My No. 1 choice is Portillo’s a chain out of the Chicago area that is growing quickly and is serving up some of the best quickly-prepared grub out there in my humble opinion.

They’re known for their Chicago-style hot dogs and their Italian Beef sandwich, which is legitimately one of the best fast food items on the planet.

Pro Tip: get sweet and hot peppers then get your sandwich dry with gravy on the side. Then you can control the gravy levels to your taste. Otherwise, they’ll dunk the whole sandwich in gravy, which, while delicious, can be a nightmare to eat without ruining your shirt and probably the shirts of several other people sitting near you.

But whatever you get there it’s fantastic. The burgers are great. The chicken tenders are great. The chocolate cake that they whip up in-house? Dynamite.

They’ll even throw a slice of that cake in a milkshake for you and it’s incredible.

Seriously. If you are traveling and see a Portillo’s in the area cancel your plans and go there. You won’t be sorry.

…

I think Gunz and I nailed this, but feel free to send in your picks and lists: mattreigleoutkick@gmail.com