Katy Perry Goes To Space, Lizzo Gives Her Take On Tariffs, And Waffle House Innovates

It’s a holiday weekend, but the news stops for no one, so it’s time for another edition of The Punch-Up!

What an edition it is.

Lizzo let us know she’s not a fan of tariffs, sperm racing is now very much a thing, and a tennis player is in hot water because apparently her opponent doesn’t use enough hot water… or soap.

But first, we’ve got to start off with the biggest story of the week: Katy Perry and her gal pals in space!

Katy Perry sang "What A Wonderful World" during the trip to space. Space is the best possible place for her to belt out a tune since there’s no sound.

News anchor Gayle King was also on the mission, which lasted just 11 minutes. Despite the short duration, King said she was nervous since it was the longest she had ever gone without riding Oprah’s coattails.

Popstar Lizzo wore a shirt on Saturday Night Live criticizing President Trump’s tariff policies. This led the President to utter something he had never said before: "I liked her better when she was fat."

British tennis player Harriet Dart has apologized after telling an umpire that her French opponent needed to put on deodorant. The umpire said that the request was a bit much, but did admit that she could probably shave her pits.

A live sperm racing event will be held in Los Angeles later this month. "Nice, finally a sport I might be good at," said Elon Musk. 

The UK Supreme Court has ruled that transgender women are not legally women. In their decision, the court said they came to their ruling because they had just had enough of the bollocks.

Singer Jelly Roll has dropped an incredible 200 pounds. In light of this, he is changing his name to "Sugar-Free Jelly Roll."

Airplane passengers are panicking ahead of Real ID requirements rolling out, with residents in some states unable to get them before the new rules go into effect. Lucky for them, there are plenty of things you don’t need an ID for, like taking the train or voting in most blue states.

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Got that?

Good, see you next week!