Jordon Hudson & Her Transgender Rival Isabelle St. Cyr Battle It Out In Swimsuits At Miss Maine USA

Guys, I'm going to knock this out real fast so I can go back to the patio to suck in some fresh air & listen to some Yacht Rock on a Saturday night. 

The big news out of the Miss Maine USA pageant where Bill Belichick's 24-year-old slam piece girlfriend Jordon Hudson is facing off against transgender Miss USA hopeful Isabelle St. Cyr in what could go down as one of the most important pageants of my Internet career, is that both contestants are through to the finals. 

From what I can determine, there were no cuts made in the preliminaries. It appears unless you get loaded in the hotel bar, make a scene & get thrown into jail, you're good to go tomorrow night. 

Hudson and St. Cyr handled business in the swimsuit competition without any slip-ups. 

The pageant quickly moved over to the evening gown competition where it quickly became apparent that it's not easy to find ladies to compete for Miss Maine. Let's call a spade a spade: This isn't SEC country, put it that way. 

JorDON strutted around. Hit her marks. Smiled like Bill just signed over another portion of his empire into her name and did what she had to do to make it to Sunday night's finals, which means she didn't fall, break her neck and go to the hospital. 

At this pageant, it's IMPOSSIBLE to not make the finals. 

Final notes from Night 1 of Miss Maine USA: 

• The prelims, which also included Miss Teen Maine, were over in 53 minutes. That's absolutely hauling ass. Maybe they only had the ballroom rented for an hour.
• Price to stream the pageant: $40, but that includes the prelims and finals.
• I tuned in about 17 minutes into the pageant and never saw an interview portion of the competition. The contestants didn't even have to speak to make the finals. That feels wrong. We NEED the interviews. That's the juice.
• I will give the PageantsLive streaming service credit. It worked better than that shit Bezos gives us for Thursday Night Football.

That's it for tonight. I'll see all of you right back here tomorrow night for the Finals.