Joel Dahmen Chugs White Claws, Pete Davidson Daytona PDA, Joy Behar Loves Porn, Spy Balloon Vs. Rednecks
What a weekend here in the great state of Florida. Beautiful weather, the Daytona 500, Busch Lights out the wazzoo and some electric Daytona Beach scenery. Bet Joel Dahmen would've loved it.
More on Joel in a bit.
Felt (and looked) just a tad bit like summer this weekend, didn't it? And if that doesn't get the juices flowing, you're clearly not capable of any happiness in your life.
I don't know what else to tell ya, but this column probably ain't for you.
While we had cars on the track down here - and those beautiful Thunderbirds in the air - folks outside the area probably took advantage of the weather to crush some golf balls. I know I certainly would have.
And on that note, I'd like to officially declare my PGA fandom for Joel Dahmen. I guess I'm late to the party? If I am, I'm sorry. I'm better than that, and I'll be better moving forward.
Let me explain.
Joel Dahmen is the most electric golfer alive. (Photo by Mike Mulholland/Getty Images)
Joel Dahmen deserves his own Netflix series
In between trips to the Daytona International Speedway Busch Light Bar - yep, it's a thing and it's glorious - I spent my quiet hours at the track watching Netflix's newest hit - Full Swing - which is the PGA Tour version of Formula One's Drive To Survive.
Anyway, it was all the rage before the Joel Dahmen episode dropped, and now it's reached elite status.
And Joel Dahmen has become a damn superstar along the way.
The last one, by the way, is why I fell in love with Joel - and why you will, too.
The backstory here is key. Apparently, Joel played about as well as I would have at a US Open Qualifier, and decided to crush a couple White Claws at the turn of the 36-hole event.
He promptly loosened up, played well enough on the second 18 and qualified for the tourney.
Unreal. What a unit. What a specimen. What a Man of the People. How have I not followed this guy's career before now? I mean, look at this!
What's the best golf course drink?
Which brings me to my next question: what are our top-five golf course beverages? I know it's gonna be different for everyone, but I'd be curious to see how much crossover we have.
I'm gonna be honest with you, White Claw wouldn't have cracked my list, but I guess I have to give it a try now?
I never thought of 'The Claw' as something I'd be into, but if it's good enough for Joel Dahmen to crush during the most important event of his life, it's good enough for me at my crappy local course during cheap twilight hours.
For me, Busch Light is far and away No. 1. If you've stuck with this column for three weeks, you already knew that.
But how about this for a twist? Busch Light Apple is my true No. 1.
There is simply nothing better than piping a drive 300 yards in the middle of summer in Florida and getting back on the golf cart and cooling off with a BLA as you drive down the fairway. It was an elite summertime beer, and the fact that they allegedly took it away forever is a crime.
Anyway, I'd go the two Busch Lights on top, followed by your classic whiskey and diet in a Yeti, those giant Hard Mountain Dews that just came out last year and are sneaky good, and this thing called the 'Breakfast Drink' at Miacomet Golf Course in Nantucket.
That's right, I just dropped a Nantucket reference on you. Bet you didn't see that one coming.
The Busch Light Bar at Daytona is perfection.
Chinese spy balloon in Daytona, Thunderbirds up close, Pete Davidson caught kissing
From Nantucket back to Daytona - which are perhaps the two most opposite places in this country.
As I said earlier, I spent the past four days taking in the sights and sounds of the Daytona 500. It's one of the best events of the year in this great country, and I broke it down in my award-winning (allegedly) Monday Morning Pit-Stop column earlier today.
Feel free to give that bad boy a read when you have time. I promise it's not that bad. Or maybe it is, who knows? I'm sure you'll tell me!
Anyway, the running question at the Speedway all weekend revolved around the Goodyear blimp that hovered over us for three straight days.
How long do you think one of China's stupid spy balloons would last floating above a bunch of drunk NASCAR fans at the Daytona 500? I give it 30 minutes, tops. Imagine that hunt!
You couldn't get in line quick enough to pull the trigger. It would be chaos.
On the topic of the Daytona 500, if you've never been, you should go. Trust me.
If you HAVE been, the best part of the day takes place about 20 minutes before green flag when the Thunderbirds scare the piss out of 100,000 fans at the same time.
Nothing and I mean nothing can prepare you for the sound, and if you don't see 'em coming, goooooood luck.
I love this country. Gets me every time. God Bless the USA!
Finally, before saying goodbye to Daytona, how about freaking Pete Davidson just showing up out of nowhere once again?
There was a huge gaggle of people swarming someone yesterday before the race, and I couldn't figure out who it was. Knew it was a celeb or a singer, but didn't have the slightest clue who it was.
So imagine my disappointment when I found out today it was Pete Davidson. This guy is literally everywhere, and I'm still not sure why he's so popular? What am I missing? How does he end up with every single smokeshow on the planet? I just don't get it.
And talk about being absolutely torn when I saw Pete was drinking Busch Light. Is he actually cool? No shot Pete Davidson slugs BLs. None.
I just hope everyone at the track kept track of their wives with Pete lurking in the shadows. That guy is an animal.
Too late! He was reportedly spotted kissing some actress named Chase Sui in a pit stall! No idea who that is but that's apparently Pete's latest heartthrob. Unreal. The guy is unbelievable.
Pete Davidson and Chase Sui find love at Daytona 500. (Photo by Chris Graythen/Getty Images)
The View's Joy Behar loves to warm up with porn
From PDA Pete Davidson to TMI Joy Behar, who gave viewers like you some unsolicited sex advice on Friday's episode of The View.
I'm sorry in advance.
For those who don't skip ahead - and I don't blame you if you do - here's how to get in the mood ahead of some good planned sex, according to Joy.
"The martini in the afternoon on an empty stomach is good. I approve of that," she said. "You say, ‘OK, Friday night at 8 o’clock we’re gonna do it, right?’ So at 7 o’clock you watch a porn movie, you read a book and now you’re ready.
"You don’t have to get porn, exactly. There’s soft porn all over Netflix and Prime and everything else."
See everyone at the 7 p.m. viewing of Bridgerton tonight!
Bullpen celebrations and gators on the way out
Two more things before we fire up the grill for some Presidents Day steaks.
First, welcome back, college baseball! The fellas returned to the diamond this past week to kick off our spring sports calendar, and with them came a couple electric bat flips and celebrations.
Again, college baseball deserves way more shine.
That last one was violent, and I love it. Gotta have your head on a swivel at all times in the dugout.
And speaking of having your head on a swivel, here's a 4-foot alligator randomly turning up in Brooklyn's Prospect Park over the weekend. Totally normal.
And on that cheery note, let's go have ourselves a week!
OutKick Nightcaps is a daily column set to run Monday through Friday at 4 p.m. (roughly, we’re not robots).
Have some better golf course drinks for me? Email me at Zach.Dean@OutKick.com.